forever one

Sat, 13 Mar 2010 10:48:29 GMT

Title: Fall
Author: fonulyn
Rating: PG
Pairing: Toshiya/Die
Theme: 049: Time goes by
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: The first time he looked into Toshiya’s deep eyes, he felt his heart break into thousand little pieces. And that night, over a glass of beer to get to know each other, they pieced his heart back together.
Comments:
fonulyn: This one I already wrote a while back, but never got around to post (bad, bad me) before now. Somehow I have a feeling it’s not quite consistent, it was supposed to head to a totally different direction than it eventually did. Yet, there are some sentences I’m quite fond of, some metaphors I just have to like. So yeah. I hope you like :) Also, inspired by this lovely prompt.

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Plus, the archive.

Fall

Die still remembered his old classroom. Too cold in the winter, too hot in the summer, with the ever present scent of old books lingering in the air. The English lessons were always in the early morning and it was hard to focus while still fighting sleep. Several times he had just dozed off during the lesson, only to snap back to reality at some point. One time, he woke up from his distant haze, and when he raised his gaze up to look at the blackboard, he froze.

"Always make new mistakes."

There it was, written with white chalk in the middle of the blackboard. Four words, that somehow seemed to always come back to him. Even twenty years later, on his 34th birthday, he remembered that sentence, although its meaning seemed to have shifted a little during his life thus far.

When he was fourteen he thought the biggest mistake of his life was to wear black pants instead of dark blue jeans in the school party. Or being too lazy and just playing Nintendo although he should’ve been studying for the maths exam. Maybe stealing from the neighbour’s apple tree ranked somewhere on top of the list of huge mistakes as well. Small, concrete things that were clearly palpable and defined.

Twenty years later, everything was so much more abstract. Everything was complicated. Thoughts, figures, feelings, all mixed into one big incoherent mess that he couldn’t make any sense of. It sometimes made him wish he would still be fourteen and would only need to worry whether he was one of the popular kids or not.

Because somehow, he was beginning to feel that being an adult wasn’t that much fun after all.

Maybe, somewhere along the way, he had taken a wrong turn and he couldn’t make it undone any longer. Maybe the wrong decision was to pursue his dream and join a band. Or maybe the wrong decision was to cut his first, long relationship that had been meant to last through everything. Or maybe, the wrong decision had simply been the moment when he looked up into his new bandmate’s eyes.

Die still remembered the day Toshiya had first appeared at their rehearsal studio to meet up with them. He had had the most obnoxious loud laughter, crooked teeth and long wavy hair. He had been way too open, brutally honest and just all too likeable in general. It had seemed that this young man wouldn’t let anything stand before him, he would bust through a brick wall if needed, just to reach his goals.

Somehow Die had thought that was even scary. He wasn’t strong like that. He would rather let the fate bring him wherever he was supposed to go. He was a drifter, someone who floated through life instead of really taking part in it.

With Toshiya, that all changed.

Suddenly there was no fear any longer. It didn’t matter if he didn’t succeed in everything he tried, he knew that there would be someone to always back him up and bail him out of troubles. It seemed that the bouncy bassist brought the whole band together in a way they hadn’t been able to function before. He was the missing piece of the puzzle, and once he was there, they were all a part of a greater unity. Functional. Something that wouldn’t work if one of them was removed.

Even a bigger impact it had on Die’s personal life though. He had always been a social butterfly; getting along with everyone, but not really letting anyone close enough to see right through him. He was liked, had gazillions of shallow friends and acquaintances. Nevertheless, he felt lonely, felt like he didn’t have anyone who could tear down his defences and leave him raw, vulnerable, and still safe. He didn’t have anyone to trust, unconditionally.

Until he allowed himself to fall.

The first time he looked into Toshiya’s deep eyes, he felt his heart break into thousand little pieces. And that night, over a glass of beer to get to know each other, they pieced his heart back together. Still something was missing. There was one, essential piece that was missing from his heart now, a piece that Toshiya had slipped into his pocket to keep forever. A piece Die didn’t even want to claim back.

Nothing came of it that night. Nothing came of it the following eight years. There were moments when they were closer together, moments when it almost seemed that they would cross the last border. There even was a drunken kiss, love confessions long forgotten in the early morning hours the next day.

Or were they?

One night, exactly eight years after getting the band together, Toshiya appeared on Die’s doorstep. He was smiling, telling the older man that he had something important to tell. Die let him in, and for the next few hours they were sitting on his couch, the tea cooling in their mugs on the table, long forgotten. Toshiya talked. He talked, he told about his feelings, he told about the past eight years and what had been going on in his mind. He told Die he needed him.

Die listened silently. He absorbed every piece of information he was given. But from the first word on, he knew what he would do.

Again, he allowed himself to fall. He let himself sink into the world of feverish touches, incoherent kisses and unspoken promises.

This was his mistake. Falling. It was old, repeated a thousand times, yet always new. Every time he looked into those deep eyes he was helpless, he allowed the rest of the world to vanish from his mind as he only focused on the man before him. He was open, raw and vulnerable, in a way he had never been before. He let the other man close, handed him the rest of his heart so it could be complete again, the last piece returned.

This might be his mistake.

But he was beginning to think it wasn't a mistake after all.

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 11:31:02 GMT

Title: Worth Waiting For
Author: fonulyn
Rating: PG
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Sometimes, Die thinks that he has made a real career out of waiting Kaoru. The older man is always late, he is always fixing some last-minute things that simply can not wait, and he’s always insisting on doing those personally.
Comments:
fonulyn: It’s been ages since I posted some D/K (or pretty much anything) so I decided that I could throw this out there :) I somehow seem to always have problems actually posting the things I write, and they end up waiting weeks in my folders. I try to get better, promised. And feel free to kick my butt for it! Seriously XD Just make me move. I hope you like this snippet though! It’s more autumn-y than fitting the current (freezing) weather but who cares ;) This was inspired by the lovely prompt here.

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Plus, the archive.

Worth Waiting For

Sometimes, Die thinks that he has made a real career out of waiting Kaoru. The older man is always late, he is always fixing some last-minute things that simply can not wait, and he’s always insisting on doing those personally. Die has waited for him at the studio, at their shared apartment, at the venues, at bus stops, at shops and restaurants. Even now he is waiting, standing in the middle of pouring rain, the canopy of the cafeteria only enough to shelter him from the worst. The wind is blowing so hard that the rain isn’t really falling down, it’s hitting him almost horizontally. It only takes less than two minutes and his jeans are completely soaked, dripping wet.

Still, he stands there, hugging his jacket closer to himself to gain at least some shelter from the ruthless wind. Patiently, he stands there and waits, since he knows that it will all be worth it in the end. Actually, he doesn’t even mind waiting. His life is hectic enough as it is, so having these moments to focus merely on existing, to think, has become essential to him. He is longing for a cigarette but knows that in a wind like this it’s impossible to light one, so he doesn’t even try. Instead he shifts a little, shoves his hands into his pockets to keep them warm now that his joints begin to ache.

It’s not a moment too early when he finally can see a familiar figure approaching him in quick steps, the older man’s shoulders hunched a little as he tries to hide underneath the black umbrella in a futile attempt to keep himself dry. He only notices Die when he is a few steps away, and instantly a smile spreads on his lips. The street is empty, Kaoru has very well noticed it already, so he doesn’t even hesitate when he wraps his arms around the taller man’s form, the umbrella falling down on the wet ground, discarded. Instantly water starts to pool in it, making the item look abandoned forever. Automatically, Die brings his arms around the smaller man in turn, returning the embrace.

”Your shampoo smells nice,” Kaoru remarks in a gentle voice as he buries his nose into Die’s dark brown, slightly damp hair. It’s not like him to share compliments, usually he’s more the kind of man who lets deeds speak for themselves. He believes that one gesture speaks more than a thousand words. Yet, there are moments when he can’t hold back, when these soft words spill from his lips on their own. They are always spoken the same way, in this certain tone that allows Die to catch a glimpse at the very core of the other man, the essence of him.

When Kaoru tells Die he wants to go home, Die knows that those words go deeper than the mundane meaning.

By saying “let’s go home”, Kaoru actually says “I love you”.

And Die loves him too.

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 09:34:44 GMT

Title: Breathe you in.
Author: fonulyn
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Toshiya/Die
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: A nice, hot shower together is something they enjoy endlessly much.
Comments:
fonulyn: This is again a drabble gone wild, it wasn’t supposed to be this long (and don’t get me wrong, it’s still not long XD) but in the end it needed a bit more than a couple of hundred words. I think it turned out pretty good, if you ask me XD I promised already ages ago that I’d post all the finished stories I have done but somehow I haven’t gotten to it. I am trying to be better. But for now, enjoy this at least ;)

And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.

Breathe you in.

The bathroom door is still ajar, a ray of light flickering through to the dark hallway almost invitingly. Already from further away one can sense the warmth seeping from the tiled room, can hear the sound of running water and maybe, if one listens carefully, the sound of bare feet tapping the floor. Toshiya closes his eyes as the spray of warm water washes over him, tilting his head back as if offering his long neck for the droplets to run along. There aren’t many things he enjoys more after a long day than a nice, lengthy shower, especially when he knows he’ll be joined any second. If his darling boyfriend ever manages to get as far as showering, that is. It always seems to take him ridiculously long to follow, and Toshiya used to wonder why it was before he realized the reason.

He can sense the familiar presence without the need to even turn his head and take a look. A smile ghosts over his lips as he closes his eyes, enjoying the feel of that intense gaze on him, caressing every curve and every expanse of smooth skin. He knows that Die loves to stay in the doorframe and just enjoy the sight for a while, and who is he to deny him that? Especially when it makes him feel so precious, makes him shiver when he imagines the almost predatory look mixing with honest tenderness in those deep brown eyes. Nevertheless, Toshiya isn’t the most patient of men, before long the temptation becomes too much to resist and he cranes his neck, sneaks a peek at the lithe form only a few paces away at the door.

It’s as if that’s what Die has been waiting for. When their eyes meet, a grin finds its way to those full lips, and it’s like Die’s shaken off a trance as he finally approaches the younger man. In one fluent movement he strips off his shirt, and now it’s Toshiya’s turn to enjoy staring, his gaze eagerly flicking over that porcelain skin that seems to be just too perfect to cover a single human being. He knows he’s exaggerating, even when the thought crosses his mind and yet he means it honestly at the same time. When it comes to what they share, he can never use enough superlatives and although it might be that he’s just looking at everything through pink shades, he doesn’t care. He enjoys it far too much to ever stop.

Die stops only when he’s standing right in front of Toshiya, their chests almost touching and their eyes meet for a second before their mouths. There is a moment of hesitation, breaths mixing, lips ghosting over each other, nose brushing against cheek. As if on command, at the same exact second, they both move to deepen the contact though, practically devouring each other in an imperfect kiss of teeth and tongue and too much eagerness to keep it together. What it lacks in composure it makes up in passion though, a low mewl escaping Toshiya as he can feel long fingers trace down his spine, caress his sides and teasingly slide around him in a touch barely palpable.

When they break for air Toshiya tilts his head back again, baring his throat and the invitation is eagerly accepted, teeth scraping over his Adam’s apple, nibbling on his jugular, soft lips tracing over skin, sucking on his collarbone. Die is still wearing his jeans but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t even seem to mind the rough fabric sticking to his legs and hips as it’s drenched by now. Instead he runs his lips along Toshiya’s abdomen, focusing on the feel of the muscles tensing underneath that smooth, wet skin. He is sinking down on his knees, trailing lower and he can feel the hitch in Toshiya’s breathing when he reaches more sensitive realms. It makes Die want to do anything to gain that reaction again. He wants to touch, to taste, to feel, to please.

He wants to breathe him in.

Water is running over Die’s face, getting into his eyes as he finally closes his lips around the head of Toshiya’s cock, tantalizing the sensitive tip with his tongue. He hears the long, incoherent sigh that spills from the younger man’s lips, feels the way his body jerks ever so slightly despite his attempts to hold back. When he moves to deepthroat the hot, heavy flesh he brings his hand to Toshiya’s abdomen, tensing underneath the wet skin, against his palm. Fingers are tangling in his hair, pulling slightly, yet never urging. Not that he needs to be urged though, from the very first moment on he sets out to just give everything he’s got.

Faster than he even realizes, it’s all over. Toshiya tightens the hold on his hair, yanking him closer as he loses control, rides out his orgasm. It makes tears well up in the corners of Die’s eyes and yet he hardly even notices, the spray of water from the shower washing over his face in steady currents. Only when the bassist relaxes again, Die pulls back as well. His legs are slightly shaky but he forces them to work anyways, heaving himself up so he can bring their faces close again. The sight of Toshiya’s pleasure blurred features is something he never wants to miss, wants to imprint to his memory to keep locked there forever.

Breathless, Toshiya tilts his head enough to connect their mouths, one long arm finding its way around Die’s neck to hold on to him, to pull him even closer. He can feel the roughness of Die’s jeans when their bodies press together, standing in crass contrast to the soft, yielding skin on his torso. He’s shivering, time and time again and he doesn’t even try to cover it, only clings on to the older man for support. When he’s pinned against the tiled wall, when he can feel Die smile into the kiss, he knows that the shower has barely just begun.

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 14:19:03 GMT

Title: Shotgun wedding; Chapter 7: Tokens of the Past
Author: seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: The Niikura’s and the Andou’s used to be the two biggest families in town, wealthy and respected to the point of practically ruling the business as they wished. Times have changed though, and thus the heads of the clans have decided to take the needed steps to join their families to restore their power. Single persons don’t have much to say about anything when the whole future of the families is in question, that much the eldest sons of the Niikura family and the Andou family have to come to notice.
Comments:
seinen_no: I know, I know, we're slow and late and blergh. I can't help it at the moment. But hey, therefore I think we brought you a nice chapter. It's one of my favourites although it doesn't even involve smut. It fits Valentine's day, being at least a bit romantic! So you all enjoy and thanks for staying true to us.

fonulyn: Actually this is one of my favorite chapters too and it always puts a smile on my face :) I hope that you’ll enjoy it too! And enjoy your day, remember your loved ones and be grateful for your friends ;)

And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive .

Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Shotgun Wedding
Chapter 7: Tokens of the Past

At first things seemed to be going well, nearly perfectly. They were getting along and the oppressing tension stayed away. And they were trying to steal some alone moments whenever possible to let off some steam and keep the frustration away as well. It was something like an adventure for them, always trying to be discreet and silent, avoiding being revealed at all costs.

Soon they both noticed though that things couldn't go on like this. They were getting too friendly with each other, were even laughing when watching the same TV-series and that already caused their servants to cast odd glances towards them. So they tried to hold back, to return to the cold war that had been going on before things had changed. They even managed with it, ignoring each other more or less completely and when they talked they were just being polite with each other.

Still Die was certain that some of the servants were suspicious already, seeing how well the two seemed to be getting along lately. He spent some sleepless moments due to that, thinking what they should do about it and how they could convince the servants again that there was nothing going on. Finally, a perfect plan formed in his mind though and he decided to try to put it to action the next day already.

They were having a late dinner together, both sitting at the dining table like they used to do whenever their cook had decided for something more complicated and they didn't want to eat it on the couch while watching television. At first they were just silent, afterwards exchanging a couple of casual words about business and the party they were supposed to attend the following week. It was one arranged by Die's father, to celebrate his birthday, and they still hadn't managed to find a suitable present.

The present-dilemma was occupying Kaoru's mind still as he had to admit he stressed about it a little bit, and he spoke up without thinking when they had almost finished the meal already. "We still need the present for your father. I'm having a hectic schedule, weren't you supposed to buy something?"

The initial answer was an annoyed growl, and Die rolled his eyes theatrically. His voice wasn't exactly the friendliest when he almost spat out the answer. "I know. Do you think I'm stupid or something!?"

The harsh reaction made the young Niikura flinch and a deep frown appeared on his forehead. He hadn't expected something like that and asked himself what he had done wrong to deserve it. His mouth opened and closed again before he could give away something with the question that was lying on his tongue. Just when he was about to ask still, he saw a smirk ghost across the redhead's lips and he winked at him. The change of expression was gone again within a split-second and yet it had been enough to make Kaoru understand.

His voice was sharp as a knife when he answered. "Do you really want an answer?" With a slightly softer tone, almost annoyed now on his side, he went on. "Well, did you buy something or not?" He could clearly see the maid pass by the room and inwardly shook his head. They were really spying almost openly. Well, maybe this had soothed their suspicious minds a bit and they would report that everything was as it used to be.

"No." The word was clearly stressed and anyone would've said that Die's expression was clearly annoyed. He glared at his husband, his back tense and he had stopped eating as well as if the remains of the food were of no interest for him. "But it's next week, for god's sake! Do you honestly think I need ages for something as simple as that? You might, I don't."

"Well fine then. I better go and buy just something in case you again forget it." Kaoru had turned his face towards the plate, going on eating as if he was through with the matter. It was odd to fight even though he more felt like asking Die how his day was. Yes, indeed, he was interested in the other man although he knew that his day probably hadn't been very exciting he still would have enjoyed talking about just anything. And he definitely would have liked to answer to the counter-question that would certainly have followed. Yet he knew that they had to keep up the act and he already hated it to no end.

"Fuck you." The redhead stood up abruptly, slamming his palm on the table. "If you can't trust me with something trivial like that, then don't even tell me to do it in the first place!" He pushed his chair a bit further, glad that he had already eaten most of his dinner, only to march away in a demonstrating manner. He didn't really like turning his back on his husband, would've much rather asked him if he wanted to watch some TV with him or something, but knew that this was what they needed to do. Since, if he now stayed there he would just forget about holding back and would smile at the other man and say something stupid.

Although it was all fake, Kaoru felt this emptiness inside him when Die had left, the feeling an un-cleared argument left behind usually. Wasn't that stupid; to pretend to hate each other when in reality you just learned to get along? He didn't want to blow it though and thus remained sitting and even finished his dinner calmly although the food was flavorless all suddenly and he had lost his appetite.

The two avoided each other till the late evening when it was time to go to bed. Kaoru waited a good deal before he went to take a shower and then quickly slipped into Die's room. He had made sure that there were no servants around anymore and yet he only dared to step up to the other man's bed, bent down and gave him a short but gentle kiss. "Sleep well." It was his way to show that nothing that had been said had an after-effect and he certainly wasn't mad for real.

The kiss made Die smile already, and he quickly used the moment when Kaoru was still bowed down to steal another small kiss. "You too." He wasn't certain what this was that was now developing between them, where they stood and what they now meant to each other, but he knew that he liked the feeling of getting along with his husband, liked to see his smile and that certain look in his eyes that wasn't just filled with coldness anymore. Even if they would have to go on pretending that they hated each other, knowing that it wasn't so in reality made him happy.

Already this short stolen moment together managed to cheer them both up and make them both get into a better mood, so that it was easier to go on keeping up the public image. Actually, now they had two different public images: first the happy loving couple they had to be in public, never allowed to get too close to each other though or too touchy, and secondly the image they kept up in front of their servants, trying to convince them they still hated each other as much as in the beginning. And only behind closed doors, hiding in the silence of their room, they could steal short moments of togetherness, moments when they were truly allowed to be themselves.

Maybe it was because this was so new to them, that it still held some sort of excitement value, but they managed surprisingly well keeping up all three lives of theirs. Still it stressed them out somewhat whenever a more important public party or a meeting was to be expected. Like Die's father's birthday party – Die had gotten the present in the end although he never knew what to give his father – which was coming closer inevitably, and before they even noticed it was already the time to leave there.

Silently, they were sitting in the car, both staring out of the window lost in deep thoughts. Kaoru was nervous, one could see it by the moving muscles in his cheeks as he clenched his teeth every now and then. He couldn't say that he liked Die's father, but he could certainly say that he frightened him. Whenever he had tried to talk to that man, he had treated him as if he were some servant, a puppet he used for his own benefit but not a breathing, thinking human being. He was just unworthy, was probably too young and hadn't yet proved that he was an equal. How must it have been for Die to grow up in the shadow of such a powerful and cold man who never seemed to show emotions of any kind? Kaoru couldn't even get close to imagining the emptiness it must have caused to spread inside a child.

When the car stopped, his thoughts were interrupted and he waited until the driver opened the door for him to get off. Like a good husband, he offered his arm to Die as they were walking down the short aisle that led to the entrance. The party was held at the Andou's residence and although Kaoru had been there before, he still couldn't get past the thought that the house looked just like its owner, cold and frightening with its two capital wings flanking the main house to the left and right. A butler held the door open for them, bowing lowly, and took their jackets. Autumn was coming fast and so the air was clear and chilly after the sun had sunk.

Die knew all the servants more than well, and the same butler had been in the house since he had been born, so he exchanged a few words with the man, giving him a friendly smile. After his mother had died he had practically considered the servants the closest thing he had to a family, seeing that his cold father and his always sick little sister hadn't been much of use for that. He still was behaving clearly like he should as someone whose status was higher than the servants', and only the warm sparkle in his eyes showed what was going on inside him.

They headed straight to the main hall, and both knew that the redhead's father would be there to greet them instantly, and were inwardly preparing themselves for it. The man was even smiling this time, politely thanking for his gift although his eyes stayed as emotionless as always. He was like a machine, perfectly polite and correct but never showing any human features.

For some time the couple was circling around in the room, greeting some acquaintances and business partners, stopping for a chat here and there. When Kaoru noticed some of their business-friends – business partners, but still almost qualified as real friends – a bit further away he instantly steered Die into that direction, still having their arms hooked casually. Matsuo Aizawa, a young man around their age, noticed them already from further and raised his hand as if to both greet them and to get their attention.

"Good to see you two here too!" Aizawa greeted them instantly as they were close enough. He sneaked one arm around his pretty wife, giving her a quick smile before turning back to the two. "Fumie and I have been waiting for you already. It's been long, eh? We met last in the company's big party, right?" He was an easygoing man, almost cheery, and it was easy to like him.

Kaoru's smile could only be described as relieved and he instinctively squeezed his husband's arm shortly to show it. "That's true," he agreed nodding before he turned a bit to greet the woman properly. "It's been way too long."

Suddenly, another couple, Subaru and Sho Ogata stepped up to them, both smiling as wide as the rest of the small bunch. Die and Kaoru had met them as well at some business-party and the two weren't married much longer than they themselves. The only difference was that Sho had taken on his husband's name, seeing that his family wasn't of that much influence. Already from afar, Subaru greeted them. "It's good to see you here, Die, Kaoru." They indeed were more friends than business-partners. Subaru had just inherited a company from his father and taken over control, but had decided to leave most of the responsibility to his president and rather enjoy life with his young husband. They were travelling a lot and one only saw them rarely at official dinners and parties.

For the first time Kaoru felt something like envy for the two since he could see himself and Die there too. Well, maybe he wouldn't be able to give up work completely, but just being able to go on a long vacation with his husband would be heavenly. Besides, he envied Subaru and Sho for the fact that they were just showing their love towards each other quite openly, with kisses and affectionate touches; more than almost any other couple around.

Immediately, Kaoru introduced the two newcomers to Matsuo and Fumie Aizawa, shortly explaining where they had met. It could have been a nice meeting amongst friends if there hadn't been the knowledge that he always had to watch his expressions and his gestures towards Die; trying not to do too much or too less. It was frustrating.

They were both good at it though, and even with the frustration they always managed to keep the masks up. At least they didn't need to pretend much with these people, being able to be nearly natural in their company since they weren't strict business-people anyways. It took them only a few moments to be engaged in a lively conversation, laughing freely. When a servant passed them by with a tray full of champagne glasses, Subaru bluntly took the whole tray, answering the questioning glances with a shrug. "We need more to drink in a second anyways!"

That elicited common laughter amongst them, and Die playfully admonished the man for taking advantage of his family by drinking all their champagne. For once they were actually even able to have fun at a semi-official party like that. Suddenly, Subaru seemed to notice something and cut into the conversation, raising his glass which was still half full of the bubbly liquid. "Hey, hey, listen to me for a second will you?" As he got the undivided attention of the small bunch, he showed a winning smile, going on. "I would like to give you an official invitation to our little skiing trip six weeks from now."

Kaoru raised his eyebrows questioningly but then nodded before he even took a glance at Die to see if he agreed too. "That sounds good. We're in." Only then he turned his head, but when he saw his husband smile widely, he knew that Die didn't have anything against it. "You know," began Sho, "my lovely husband has bought this wonderful hut in the mountains just a couple of months ago as a late wedding gift and now we're planning to inaugurate it properly." Subaru nodded and gave him a short kiss on the lips. "That's right. Oh," he faced the Aizawas. "And of course the invitation goes for you two as well."

It had been clear from the very first moment on that the three couples were getting along really well and so it was no question that Matsuo and Fumie would be invited too although they only knew each other for such a short time. Instantly, Matsuo Aizawa accepted the invitation and all of them toasted to the idea. "Well, of course there's going to be some business-partners too, but they won't stay too long anyways," Subaru promised with a wink and made everybody chuckle.

"It's just for the appearance, you know how it is." Sho smirked, leaning closer to his husband like naturally. Somehow watching the two elicited this weird feeling inside Die though, and for a moment he fell silent, just observing. Everyone was so much engaged in a conversation though that they didn't even notice his momentary spacing out. It was just that seeing the couple so relaxed together made him think how they would eventually have to leave the party only to go home and pretend that there was nothing between them. Hiding in their own home was probably the worst part in this all. Finally, he managed to shrug the weird feeling off, directing his attention back to his companions.

They still spent a good while talking, but then decided that they would probably use some of the still remaining time to greet some other guests. They all knew how it worked and simply agreed on going on with the interesting talks when they would meet at the skiing trip. So they all went to their own directions, Die and Kaoru first heading over to one of Kaoru's older business partners who needed to be greeted too of course.

Shortly after that the redhead felt the need to go visit the restrooms and he whispered to his husband that he would be back soon, before disappearing from the huge hall. At first Kaoru talked to some acquaintance, but afterwards just took a moment for himself, standing close to the wall and simply watching the crowd. He was lost in thought, but suddenly something caught his attention and he turned his head a bit just to see Die's father some steps further from him, talking to someone.

He wasn't sure if the two men had seen him or not, probably had since they were so close, but at least they were talking freely as if they had been alone. And they were talking about him. That made Kaoru automatically sharpen his senses, almost hold his breath to hear what was being said. Isamu Andou's voice carried firmly even over all the background noise the bunch of people caused in the room. "Yeah, you're right, the business has been doing well lately. But I wouldn't count it as his doing."

"At least the word is out there that the marriage saved the company, be it true or not." The other man's voice was lower, and Kaoru could barely make out what he was saying. He wasn't really spying, he told himself, he was just innocently standing there and happened to hear a part of the conversation. "I don't see though how simply making a good impression at parties would decide if a company lives or dies."

Were they really talking about him, Kaoru asked himself? It sounded more as if they were talking about Die. How could his father! After all he had forced upon his son; making him carry the burden to lead a marriage he hadn't wanted and that with a husband he didn't even like. Well, hadn't liked, but that, the old man didn't know. Besides, even if it had been a marriage of love, the old Andou would have still insisted on his stupid contract only because he was this old, bitter, homophobic devil.

Hearing that was a bit too much for the young Niikura's thin nerves and he took a step towards the two talking men. The agitation and anger were clearly visible on his face as his whole posture was tense. "You don't even have the slightest idea how important making a good impression is," he hissed, not even thinking about the possibility that his impudence could anger his father-in-law. "The real deals are made aside from the table in the background. That's where bonds are made. You should acknowledge the work of your son there. Without him, your company wouldn't have made half of the deals it has now. Daisuke is a professional when it comes to this, so pay him some respect."

Kaoru had no idea where this sudden outburst had come from and right afterwards, he regretted it again. Isamu Andou simply wasn't worth it. But Die was. He was worth to be defended and it was about time that somebody noticed how important his part of the deal really was. Since it was too late to back off again now, Kaoru just remained rooted to the ground, preparing himself for whatever was to come.

He received a cold stare from his father-in-law, and the other man didn't exactly look friendlier as they both turned to look at him. It was Mr. Andou who spoke up though, his voice cold as ice, completely emotionless, not even a hint of anger showing. "Who are you to tell me whom to respect? Don't try to pretend you know my good for nothing son better than I do."

The three men were so focused on the moment at hand that none of them noticed the tall redhead who was standing a bit behind them, frozen in mid-movement. There were some people between him and the three others, but he still had clearly heard what was going on. He had returned to the room just in time to hear his father's words and how Kaoru had suddenly stood up for him. That was something he would've never expected, and somehow it made him feel appreciated in a way he didn't remember feeling in ages. As soon as he got a hold of himself he quickly took a sidestep, hiding from the others for the time being.

"Everybody who cares to listen to Die for more than five minutes knows him better than you do." Again, the answer had left his lips before Kaoru had thought the words through. It wasn't his natural self to just act upon feelings, but this time he simply felt the need. How could a father be like that? "Maybe you should take the effort to ask your business-partners and friends about him? You might be surprised about the answers you get." Although he was shaking on the inside, honestly afraid of the man who practically emitted power and coldness, Kaoru stood his ground, not giving way an inch.

That was the moment when Die truly realized Kaoru's real strength, noticed how he was able to stand up for what he believed was right and didn't back off at all, even when confronted by someone like Isamu Andou. It made the redhead respect his husband on a whole new level, and it caused this certain warm feeling inside of him to know that it was him who the other man was defending.

The little muscles in Mr. Andou's jaw tensed and that was pretty much the only thing that showed how furious he was right at that moment. There was nothing else in his composure that would've given it out, and even his voice was still completely calm as he spoke up again. "I think you've expressed your opinion clearly, young man. I have no interest in hearing more. Not now, not ever."

Although Kaoru wasn't done in the slightest, would have so many other things to say still, to slam into his father-in-law's face, he didn't grant the other man that victory. So with a small bow he greeted the older man. "Thank you." With having said that, he turned on his heel and headed away, neither looking left or right. Only when he was out of sight, he stopped, searching the room with his gaze for his husband. All he wanted now was to leave and that hopefully without causing a huge fuss by saying every single guest his goodbyes.

It took a moment before he spotted the redhead at the buffet. Die wasn't looking into his direction, but seemed somewhat contemplative, or then he was searching for him as well. With a few steps, Kaoru was already standing beside the taller man, carefully placing his hand on his forearm. "I want to leave now," he whispered, his eyes clearly showing that he meant right at that moment.

The slightly younger man turned around to face his husband, giving him a smile that had an odd mixture of thankfulness, warmth and pride. He didn't say anything first, just greeted the smaller man with a short peck on his lips. "C'mon, there's something I want to show you first." He didn't give his husband the time to protest, only hooked their arms and practically dragged him away. Together they sneaked out of the room, almost bumping into one servant but Die just quickly gave him a grin and said they were heading to the bathroom.

Before they could reach the restrooms though, Die suddenly changed directions and instead led the other man to the second floor, into the eastern wing of the building. Huge, even oppressing paintings were hanging from the walls, giving the house a feel of one of those old ghost mansions. It was obvious that Die knew his way around there though, and before Kaoru even noticed he was being pushed into one of the rooms, the door closing behind them.

Die stayed at the door, leaning backwards against it, but his eyes were on Kaoru as he spoke up with a smile. "I just wanted to show you this. The place where I practically grew up." He nodded at the room, and as he had assumed it was still just the way it had been when he had first moved out of home.

It was much smaller than the house would have made one assume and Kaoru thought that it probably had been the old Andou's idea to keep his son in check with only offering him little private place. There was a small TV, covered with a thick layer of dust and a bookshelf with lots of European classics. At first, Kaoru found himself thinking that Die certainly had never read all of them, but then he took a closer look and one could see that the covers were bent, some of them looking quite worn out.

There was not much in the room except for a small bed, a quite capital desk and a closet. Only if one looked closer, one could really see that there had been a teenager living in the room. At the side of the desk, there were some anime figurines lined up and underneath the bed, a couple of cartons and crates were showing. Smiling, Kaoru bent down and took one, turning to look at Die and silently ask for his permission. After receiving a nod, he pulled the carton out and opened it. Inside, he found a huge mess of different things, a small notebook, earphones, condoms, some porn magazines and a couple of CDs.

Chuckling, Kaoru straightened again and looked at his husband. "Are they all like this one?" he asked. One could clearly see by the sparkle in his eyes that he appreciated that Die had taken him here. Although the room was a bit muggy since the window hadn't been opened in a long time, it still smelled like the redhead and it was easy to believe that the door would just open any second and a young Die came inside, threw his school-bag into the corner and slumped down on the bed to watch some TV and forget everything else.

"Many of them," Die smirked, something like a happy sparkle in his eyes. "But I did try to keep some order in some. Like the blue," He went to the bed and sat down on the floor, pulling one of the boxes closer to himself, "was for CDs, the red for boring schoolstuff. And in here," He dug out a smaller box from behind all the others. It was made of oak and looked much stronger built than the others, it even had a lock which was open now though and probably no one knew where the key was.

The redhead opened the lid, showing that the box was now empty if one didn't count a few articles that were clipped from magazines and were now lying there. "This was for my diaries. Yeah," He laughed, "I actually did write a diary too. What a girly thing to do!" Somehow he felt that he could trust his husband, although he wasn't even completely sure where the feeling was now coming from. But it was a nice feeling, and right now he was almost completely convinced that their marriage could turn into something good in the end, despite the way it had started.

"Diaries?" Kaoru smiled and followed suit, sitting down on the floor next to the taller man. "Where are they now? You didn't throw them away, did you?" He had to admit that he was curious to hear more about the teenaged Die, about his life. It would only make him understand the other man better and maybe it would also help him to sort out his own feelings a bit. "Are you still writing?"

"Sometimes," Die shrugged, "Rarely though and most of the time I forget it. It's not like my daily life would be full of interesting things to write about anyways." He looked a bit thoughtful as he wiped off some dust from the lid of the box, running his index finger along the carved lines. "I don't have the old ones anymore. I burned them." Turning his head he smiled at his husband, somehow enjoying the calm moment where they could just talk without having to keep up any pretended images.

Kaoru didn't ask for the reason although he would have loved to know why somebody burned his diaries. He understood though that Die hadn't been bedded on roses exactly. The rich boy living in a golden cage, starving emotionally. So all the young Niikura did was lean in and give him a short kiss, holding Die's chin between his thumb and index-finger. "Thank you for showing me this," he whispered.

The redhead couldn't help but to smile, closing his eyes for a few seconds as if to sample the feelings the kiss had evoked in him. "You deserved it." He stated silently, not elaborating on it further and instead just opened his eyes to meet his husband's gaze straight before leaning in to kiss him again. He didn't even know why he had showed the diary- box, he hadn't even touched it really after he had burned everything from inside in an angry fit after fighting with his father. Maybe he had felt the need to show Kaoru something special he hadn't shown others, since it really meant a lot to him that he had been defending him back at the party.

"I don't know why though, but really," Kaoru made a small pause, looking the other man deep in the eyes. "Thank you." Suddenly, he remembered something and nodded towards the desk. "And why are those still here? They are rare collectibles, you know." He was talking about the figurines. When he had been a teenager, he had collected those too and there were still some missing in his collection to make it complete. Of course his were at his parent's place as well since he hadn't taken many really personal things with him when he had moved in together with his husband. It hadn't felt right at that point and he certainly hadn't wanted to make a fool of himself by giving away that he still clung to some items of his childhood.

"I don't know, really." Die laughed, shaking his head a bit. "I didn't pack all my belongings when I left anyways, and I haven't really been back here for that many times afterwards. But hey, if you want them, let's just pack them along!" He stood up, grabbing the ex-diary-box and set it on the table before beginning to fit the figurines inside carefully.

The gesture made Kaoru chuckle and he stepped close behind the other man, his chest almost touching Die's back when he tried to peek over his shoulder. "I have some too," he gave away lowly. "Maybe we find a place to put them…" Somehow this whole moment made him sentimental, made him think of his past and his future which was now linked with the redhead's. And somehow the thought had lost its fright; even more than that, he felt that he actually liked the idea of spending his life with the other man. At least for now.

When Die sensed Kaoru so close behind him he automatically leaned a bit backwards, closer to him, without even thinking about the gesture consciously. He had almost forgotten that he had even been collecting the figurines, but now it all came back to him and he remembered the enthusiasm with which he had always arranged them on the table to show off his collection. "We have a huge house." He pointed out with a chuckle. "We can certainly find a place to put these. When there's will there's a way!"

Slowly, the smaller man sneaked his arms around Die's waist, hugged him tight and gave him a kiss on the neck. "That's the first positive thing you've said since we are married," he stated without making any kind of judgment. "And you're right. We have a huge house, but I don't like the furniture." It was true. The house had been arranged by Die's father, or more likely by his interior decorator. The man did have some taste, but had managed to make every room look cold, only white and bright colors without anything to make it feel like a home really. "And I want these to be in a nice surrounding so that they don't look misplaced," Kaoru explained further while Die already closed the box and slowly turned around to look at him.

It was time to leave before somebody got suspicious, but Kaoru didn't want to. He would have loved to lie down on Die's bed, to feel the mattress underneath him and see if the cushions still smelled like his husband or if they were only moldy or then carried the scent of soap still.

"You don't like the white either?" Die asked with a chuckle, rewarding his husband with a quick kiss. "I always wanted to replace them, really, I was thinking of this dark wooden stuff and it would totally feel more like a home. I do like my bedroom like it is though…" He pursed his lips thoughtfully. He knew that they needed to get going, but still was reluctant to break the moment since he knew that the moment they stepped out of the room they would have to watch their behavior again.

With a little reluctant sigh he straightened, but changed his mind already when he was walking past his husband. Quickly he turned, using the moment to crush their mouths together in a deep kiss. Why not make the most of the moment and at least steal one proper kiss while he could?

Kaoru gasped surprised, the force of the movement almost pushing him over. Quickly, he wrapped his arms around the other man's neck to keep balance and then answered to the kiss with equal fervor. His heart had stopped beating for a few seconds but now jumped up to his throat where it began to hammer.

They only parted when both of them were out of breath, their chests heaving, lips slightly swollen and glistening wet. There was no further word exchanged, but one gaze was enough to know what they were thinking. With slightly shaky steps, Kaoru finally broke the moment and walked towards the door, opening it carefully before slipping through the small gap.

While they were walking down the stairs, he had enough time to think. Admittedly, Die's bedroom was nice with the dark red on the wall. But wouldn't it be much nicer if they just pulled down the wall between their rooms and make it one? There would be more light, more air, more room for both of them. Of course all this was just wishful thinking, but Kaoru surprised himself by indeed wishing they would be able to do that.

When they had almost descended the stairs, he reached out his hand and stopped Die from going on. "I would really like to go home," Kaoru's voice was low, but his eyes were pleading. Honestly, he simply didn't want to bump into his father-in-law again since he couldn't promise for his countenance if the older man again talked bad about his son.

"Should we go and say the official goodbyes to everyone or just leave?" The redhead asked, looking the other man straight in the eye. "I bet no one would even notice if we would just flee…" He knew that it was the common policy to at least say goodbyes to the most important people, but there was so many guests present anyways that the chances were big no one would really realize they had disappeared without doing that.

Kaoru knew the record would demand them to at least say goodbye to the host, Die's father, but then he was sure that the old man wouldn't care one single bit. "Let's just leave. No big goodbyes today. If somebody asks, I haven't been feeling well and you brought me home." That was probably the most unprofessional how he had behaved in a long time, but the funny thing was that he didn't give a damn.

"Deal," Die chuckled, grabbing his husband's arm to drag him towards the door. He only exchanged a couple of words with a servant who was there and helped them to their coats, and that was the goodbyes for today. In no time they were outside, both more than relieved to be out of the house finally.

When they were home they indeed first looked for a place to put the anime figurines, finally settling for the cupboard they had in the living room. Normally it was a place for porcelain and crystal with its glass doors that allowed a perfect view inside. They emptied it in no time though, arranging the figurines on the shelves. There would still be more than enough room for Kaoru's collection as well, and inwardly he decided that he would get them from his parents' place when he'd go there the next time.

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 15:42:59 GMT

Title: Sweet Morning
Author: fonulyn
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Toshiya/Die
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Theme: 004: Bold and Delicious
Summary: One morning, Toshiya decides to have Die for breakfast. And make him even sweeter.
Comments:
fonulyn: First of all, this is dedicated to daidetre. I promised her I’d write some table-smut already I don’t know how long ago XD PLUS I still didn’t get her the promised birthday-present-fic even though her birthday was … ages ago. So consider this a very late present, dear! XD Secondly, I have to admit I quite like this myself as well. At least I was in some desperate need of T/D smut. So I hope you’ll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

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Plus, the archive.

Sweet Morning

It’s not often that Die finds himself flat on his back, on their kitchen table of all surfaces. Granted, he’s had his fair share of kitchen counters, all too familiar with both his own and Toshiya’s by now. Counter is a different thing than a steady table though. Counters are for quick fucks, for releasing pent up pressure when there’s not much time to tease, actually no time for even the act itself, and still they can’t hold back. Countless times he’s been bent over the counter, sitting on the edge of it, or alternately has had the younger man in those positions.

Not now. Now his arms are stretched out to the sides, tied to the table legs so that he can’t really move his upper body. He can squirm, he can shift, but he can’t do much anything with his hands. He stretches out his fingers, runs them across the surface of the table and he knows he has nothing to grasp on to. Nothing but the rough fabric that attaches his wrists to the table. Toshiya really took him by surprise this time, used nothing but an apron and torn kitchen towel to tie him up before he even managed to process the fact that he’d been slammed down on the table.

Somehow, Die still has troubles processing the moment when Toshiya climbs on the table, between his legs, running his palm over the older man’s soft thigh. He’s wearing nothing but his skin, neither of them is, and already before the thought sinks down into the guitarist’s brains he feels something cool on his stomach. Startled, he looks up, much more surprised now than when he was tied up to the table at nine thirty in the morning, instead of getting his usual cup of coffee.

Honey.

Die recognizes the jar, knows that this isn’t any regular supermarket honey. He doesn't even want to know how much the other man paid for that liquid gold. All he can focus on is the feeling of it coating his skin, sticking to every curve, sneaking to his pores and glimmering on his chest. It is cold when it hits his body, but it only takes seconds for it to warm up, for his own inner heat to devolve on it. He bites his lower lip, softly, in anticipation, chewing on it without even noticing what he’s doing. A nervous habit.

A moment later a stifled outcry breaks the silent air in the room. Toshiya latches his mouth on Die's skin, nibbles on his neck, licks his way down to his jugular, bites on his collarbone, sucks on a honey coated nipple with such ferocity that it draws a surprised - nevertheless pleased - moan from the guitarist. The sticky substance seems to be like glued on him, hard to get off, and he can feel the pressure Toshiya has to apply to all of his actions. He needs to use his teeth to get the honey off that ridiculously smooth skin, to get every speck of it, savoring the taste of honey mixing with Die on his tongue. His head is spinning from the mere scent and he thinks, he knows, he makes sure that Die feels it in multiplied intensity.

It’s like Die’s world is melting down around him. Everything is honeyed, everything liquidizes until it’s all one golden, sticky mess of nothing but feelings, sensations and anticipation mixed into one. Die is shivering when he feels more honey poured on his skin, on his thighs, insides of them, between them. Toshiya goes where the honey is, finding every sensitive spot with merciless accuracy. Die’s head is spinning. Then, that sinful tongue is working into him, touching places he never thought he'd allow anyone to taste. It’s almost surreal. He cries out and his eyes snap open as he parts his legs invitingly, in a silent plea for more. Yet he does not dare to say it out loud. Already showing he likes it, showing he wants more of that tongue, feels so forbidden that his cheeks grow hot, stained by the sudden blush.

All too soon it’s over. Die knows it has to. Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to hold back any longer, his self control is hanging by a silken thread already as it is. He draws in a shaky breath, closing his eyes in an attempt to get a hold of himself. Somehow. He can still feel those lips on his skin, the wet tongue sweeping over his hipbone, those teeth playfully sinking into the flesh on his side. Toshiya smiles, against the soft spot right beside Die's navel, his lips curving into a wicked grin. He enjoys this, obviously more than he usually enjoys his breakfast. Then again he has always had a thing for sweet breakfast, something like a slight honey addiction.

Just when Die thinks he has calmed down enough to speak he opens his mouth and yet all that comes out is a strangled outcry. The set of lips that was pressed against his stomach mere seconds ago is now around his cock, moving down as he is engulfed in that hot, wet cavern. Something jerks in the pit of his stomach and he bucks up, unable to hold back the forceful shudder that shakes his whole being. Toshiya moans around the thick flesh and he can feel the vibrations in his throat, the way he is suppressing the gag reflex and tries to give all he's got. He has Die writhing, squirming, panting, whimpering in mere seconds, completely at his mercy. At the mercy of his mouth and his hands, working their magic.

Die doesn’t even notice he’s begging. The words spill from his lips on their own, the urgency to get more, more of this, more of the sensations, more of anything, too much for him to take. “Oh god. Please.” It’s enough to make Toshiya pull back. He’s not a cruel man, he knows how far he can push the older man before he snaps and just before that, he gives in. It’s like a fight of wills where no one loses, there are only winners. Toshiya moves closer again, ghosts his lips over Die’s, teasingly licking over his lips to offer him a taste of honey mixed with himself. Die’s legs practically fall apart when Toshiya nudges his thigh with his knee, urging him to make more room for him between them.

When Toshiya is finally inside of him, Die can only claw on the surface underneath him, desperate, not caring if his nails leave marks on the polish. The hard wood of the table seems to be the only thing holding him back to reality, as he can feel it press against him with every movement of the man on top of him. He throws one of his long legs around the bassist’s hips, opens up for him, tries to meet his every movement. Eagerness meets demand, he is willing and yielding, in control and yet completely at Toshiya’s mercy. Everything at once.

They are moving as one. A well rehearsed play, result of years and years of practice. Still every time new, always changing, never the same.

Die throws his head back when Toshiya's release fills him, hot and sticky and somehow it reminds him of the honey that covered him just a while ago, specks of it still left, stuck on him. Vocal chords are clearly visible on the side of his throat and yet not a single sound is heard. He literally holds his breath for those few seconds, for those three heartbeats before he follows the younger man. Neither of them can stop trembling, tremors shaking their joined bodies, their minds somewhere far away, drowning in the sensations.

They kiss and Die wonders if it's Toshiya that tastes so sweet, or if it's still the honey on his tongue.

----
words: 1318

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:22:17 GMT

Title: Waking Up Beside You
Author: fonulyn
Rating: PG
Pairing: Toshiya/Die
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: This had always been a place for Toshiya to escape stress, a place he could feel comfortable in and he never needed to think about work or oppression there. Now it was even better. Now that he had Die with him.
Comments:
fonulyn: A new ficcie, anyone? :) I still have a whole bunch I haven’t posted, so I figured that I’d start to slowly throw them out there whenever I manage x) I don’t know about you, but I’m having slight troubles coping with the cold winter at times (though at others I absolutely love and adore it!) so one of those moments resulted in me getting into a summery mood and thus this was born x) I wanted to just think of how nice those lazy summer mornings feel like. So yeah, that’s my explanation on where this came from XD

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Plus, the archive.

Waking Up Beside You

There was something distinctive in the summer mornings, always had been. The sunlight seeping inside from the gap in the curtains was somehow different than it was in the middle of the winter, although it was hard to describe it and to really tell what the difference was. Yet, Toshiya knew there was one. And he also knew that he enjoyed summer mornings on a whole different level than he enjoyed the wintery ones. He had grown up where summer and winter differed palpably from each other, and he knew that he was lucky as in some places one could hardly tell the summer and the winter apart. He had seen the hot, muggy days of pure sunshine, but he also knew the other side of the coin; the snowfall and the cold wind, the way that ice and snow creaked under your shoes when you walked along the white path.

But yeah, summer mornings. Toshiya loved those. He kept on lolling in bed for hours then, just enjoying the feeling of the clean sheets against his skin, the way the sun was shining through the window and making him relax, feel even warmer. Mornings like this only happened in the very early summer, or then when it was almost autumn already and it was cooling off a little already. He had never liked the muggy midsummer, there was simply too much heat and it could get exhausting, fast. Hell, he already was dripping with sweat when he stepped outside when it was that hot. Now, when the weather was like this, he could enjoy long walks and the fresh air, focusing on the nature around him.

That was one reason why he loved visiting his parents. They lived further from the center of the city, in an area that was filled with trees and flowers and whatelse. Green stuff! Things Toshiya couldn’t name, but he still loved from the bottom of his heart. This had always been a place for him to escape stress, a place he could feel comfortable in and he never needed to think about work or oppression there. He had thought it had already been perfect, that nothing could make him love this more. With that, he had been wrong though. Now, he was looking forward to these little escapes from reality even more.

Now that he wasn’t alone.

The morning sun hit his eyes as he turned around, resting on his side so he could watch the sleeping figure beside him. All smooth skin and sleepy features, Die was still far away in the land of dreams and it didn’t seem that he would land back from there anytime soon. He had pulled the blanket up sometime during the night and it was covering his lower body, his feet tangled with the sheets in a way that practically kept him trapped. His arms were stretched wide, one stuffed underneath the pile of pillows to make it higher, so he could rest his head there comfortably. A grin ghosted over Toshiya’s lips at the sight, as the older man was simply adorable like this. And looked ten years younger than he actually was, damnit. It made the bassist feel a little old for a second.

Carefully, Toshiya reached out his hand to brush away a dark strand of hair that had fallen on the guitarist’s face. He tucked it behind his ear, allowing his fingertips to linger on the soft skin for a moment longer than necessary. This. This was what made things even more wonderful for him. He finally had someone by his side, someone he knew loved him for who he was and not who he was supposed to be. It hadn’t been that simple to begin with, they had had their own struggles, but in the end it only made this better. Toshiya would’ve said this was perfect, but he didn’t believe in perfection so he was vary of using the word. Still, if anything was close to perfect, it was this.

Toshiya had been open with his family straight from the beginning, they had known about his preferences for long anyways and he had never made it a secret that he had set his eyes on the younger guitarist of his band pretty much the same second they had met the first time. He had instantly fallen for that smile, those sparkling eyes and the merry laughter. Now that he knew the feeling was mutual, it filled his whole being with this tingly and happy feeling, made a whole bunch of butterflies dance in his stomach.

He was happy.

He still remembered the first time he had brought Die here. The guitarist had been scared to death, paranoid that something would go wrong and just plain scared that the other man’s parents wouldn’t want him there. Toshiya had told him he was ridiculous; his parents had liked Die when they were friends, why would they change their mind now that there was more between them? It hadn’t stopped Die from feeling anxious though, and Toshiya still remembered how clammy and cold his hand had felt the morning they had arrived here the first time. There had been this certain look of panic in Die’s eyes, nervousness written in every single one of his gestures. Yet, it had all melted away the moment Toshiya’s mother had enclosed him in a warm embrace, welcoming both boys back home.

Now, it was something like a tradition. They came here every summer, at least once, to eat Toshiya’s mother’s cookings and gain several pounds (something that always made Die freak out and begin working out the instant they returned home), to enjoy the slow days and the fact they had nothing to do. Unfortunately their free time was scarce, but they had learned to enjoy the few days they got the best they could. There was no sense in worrying over what little time they could use better just by enjoying it. It was calm here, it made them feel like their mental batteries were reloaded effectively.

Making a sleepy little sound, Die shifted but didn’t even open his eyes. Toshiya thought he was still asleep and kept on watching him, slowly sneaking a little closer as he simply wanted to feel that soft skin against his own. He sneaked one arm around Die’s waist, pulling him close into a warm embrace. He couldn’t help but to startle a little bit as a voice cut through the air, the guitarist suddenly blinking up at him from sleepy eyes. “Is it time to get up?” He asked, his voice soft and hoarse from sleep, and from that Toshiya understood that the older man wasn’t even properly awake just yet.

Smiling, he just tightened the embrace and sank back into the cushions. “No. Not yet. Not quite yet.”

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 08:47:22 GMT

Most of these were written on request, some resulted from the inspiration boxes and they are all over the place.

***

• Kyo/Die
• NC17
• prompt: “torn apart”

Die can hardly move. Tied to the bed, ropes cutting deep into the soft flesh of his wrists, of his ankles, his legs forced apart further than they would go. There are tears of frustration forming in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks, as time and time again his body is denied what it is craving for, what it needs desperately. He feels like dying, and he knows it’s exactly what Kyo is aiming for.

It’s exactly what he needs. What they both need.

After every heated argument they need to burn off the anger, to sweat off the poisonous malice from their system. Die used to be scared, thinking that the almost violent clashes of their stubborn personalities would end up tearing them apart in the end. It was before they learned their own way to deal with it. Now, every argument leads to heated kisses, eager hands roaming over every inch of uncovered skin until neither of them can hold back any longer.

Often Die finds himself restricted, tied down for his lover to do with as he wishes. He lets it happen, throws himself into the moment since he knows why it has to be like this. At the same time, Kyo is both punishing him and apologizing. He makes him go through hell, only to show him a glimpse of heaven. They both can deal with their guilt and their anger this way, the mixed sensations of the moment parallel to the mixed feelings.

When the pain shoots through Die’s nerve tracks, into every fibre of his being, he can only scream. Yet he focuses on the shared warmth, on the raw attack turning into mutual desire, something they both feed off of.

And when Kyo touches him, he knows they leave the pain behind.

***

• Die/Kyo
• PG13
• prompt: “so fucking cute”

When Die first saw Kyo, he thought that the other man was extremely adorable. Yes, he was trying to look cool and had the whole monster-do to him, messed hair and awful make-up that tried to make him look like a demon. Only that if one asked Die, he looked more like a funny little goblin that had escaped the woods and was now lost somewhere in the bright city. He knew better than to say it out loud, especially when the vocalist was so keen on keeping up a believable appearance, and of course he didn't want to make a fool out of him.

Still, the thought didn't leave Die, not even when years passed and the ways to shock changed. Kyo went from the goblin-make up through the whole cavalcade of self-harm and extreme tricks, fake blood mixing with the real deal. Sometimes it was scary, made Die want to beg for the younger man to stop and yet he knew better. There was nothing to stop the creative flow as everyone seemed to be calling it.

Only when after all those years, Die finally caught a glimpse of what was beneath that surface, he knew what he had to do. It wasn't easy to make things work, not with two as stubborn persons as they were, and yet there was more will to make it than there were obstacles thrown at them. He felt honored, to see sides in Kyo that no one else was allowed to witness, to see to the very core of the enigma he had created of himself.

Yet, the more Die saw the more his first impression seemed to strengthen. Kyo was simply goddamn adorable. Whether he wanted it or not.

***

• Kaoru/Die
• PG13
• prompt: word of the day #6 “narthex” from inspireaspirexx

Somehow, Die had always hated churches. Not because he would have anything against religion in itself, although he wasn't exactly keen on that either, he wasn't even Christian. There just was something in churches that made him feel small, unimportant and powerless and that was something he hated. Being surrounded by the massive sculptures and paintings that obviously served a higher purpose, made him uneasy with painful efficiency. It never failed.

Knowing this, it wasn't exactly a surprise that he protested, rather loudly, when Kaoru decided they would visit an impressive catholic church. Granted, Prague was famous for its churches and they all had heard much of them and of the brilliant architecture. Kyo had already disappeared on his "church round" when everyone else had been asleep in the early mornings, and both Toshiya and Shinya had announced they would use the evening to go see at least one before checking out the nightlife the city offered.

Die didn't understand anything about great architecture though. Nor did he want to. He tried to subtly suggest that they could just grab a beer somewhere, enjoy the day and hell, he'd rather sit in one of those horse carriages for a sightseeing round. Yet Kaoru was stubborn, he had decided he wanted to see churches so there was nothing anyone could do about that. Not even Die.

Several hours and seven churches later, Die's feet hurt and his mind was swirling with crosses and sculptures and paintings of everything from baby Jesus to dying Jesus. He still hated churches. But when he got to sit down next to Kaoru, who was smiling obviously happily, and wash away the dry feeling from his throat with half a liter of beer, he had a feeling that it had been worth it, after all.

***

• Kaoru/Toshiya
• PG
• prompt: meeting at night

It had been long since the last time Kaoru had seen snow. Not that weird, dirty mass on the roadsides that people called snow but real, honest and pure white snow falling from the sky in big fluffy flakes. When he looked up, it almost looked like the stars were falling down, hitting his forehead, cold on his skin. He had the sudden impulse to open his mouth and try to catch the flakes but he resisted. Who knew, someone might be watching him and he would rather step forward and jump off the rooftop he was standing on than to make a fool out of himself.

It made him flinch and almost jump off the roof anyways when a soft voice carried over the distant sounds of traffic from the street below. "C'mon." It only took one word and he relaxed again, recognizing the voice and the familiar presence. "You're not here to catch snowflakes, now are you?" Kaoru smiled when a pair of long arms was wrapped around his midsection, his thick winter jacket riding up a bit as he was pulled closer.

"No." He shook his head a bit, and he didn't need to turn to know that Toshiya was smiling at the response. "I was waiting for you to catch me."

***

• Kaoru/Toshiya
• PG
• prompt: here

Kaoru is the type of person who lives in the moment. He has never understood the incredible need some people seem to have in preserving their surroundings, their life, through pictures and diaries and these little booklets full of memories. He keeps the important memories in his head, no need for any scrapbooks there. While Toshiya is the exact opposite to him. Ever since Kaoru has known him, he’s been one to religiously collect important memories into his book. Now, after ten years it’s probably the fifteenth book at least but they all look the same: black leather binding, natural white pages and nothing else, just ready to be used and to include pictures and snippets of life.

He has always teased Toshiya about that, the books. Such a girly thing to do. Yet sometimes, when he’s home alone and he misses the other man so much it feels the lump inside of him will grow suffocating, he digs out the current book from the top shelf of the bedroom closet. Secretly, he takes a peek inside, sees what the latest additions are and what moments the bassist considered important enough to be added to his manuscript. He runs his fingers over the pages, feels the torn edges of the pieces of paper glued there, the cool surface of the photographs, all in an order that is strict in its chaos. Sometimes, he digs out an older book, smiles at the picture of pure mess in their first recording studio, feels his cheeks still grow hot as he looks at the picture of the park where they first kissed, so unexpectedly.

It might be a girly thing to do. And Kaoru will never stop teasing Toshiya about it. But deep down inside he is glad that the other man keeps on making those books. Keeps on memorizing their lives for them.

***

• Shinya/Kyo
• PG
• prompt: here

It’s raining outside and somehow the dark blue and black beneath the window creates an enticing contrast with the warm lights flickering inside of their comfortably heated tourbus. The lights are still on, although most of the bunch has long ago retreated to their bunks to gain at least a bit of sleep while they’re making headway on the bumpy roads. Kyo can’t sleep though. These past days he’s been feeling increasingly restless, unable to calm down and focus on just about anything. He’s not one to wear his emotions on his face though, he knows he covers it well. In fact, he doubts that anyone has realized the low of his mood yet.

He’s wrong. And if he would’ve thought about it for longer he should’ve realized that too. There is no way that even the slightest change in his mood could escape Shinya’s watchful eye, no matter what he’d try. At first he had thought that Shinya was just good at reading people, which was true to some extent, but with time he had grown to realize that it was partly just connected to him. Shinya was good at reading him. Whenever he was brooding somewhere, pretending to be all casual, the drummer wasn’t far away and would always offer support in his own silent way.

Even now, Kyo has barely managed to get through with the trail of his thoughts before he feels the familiar presence beside him. He shifts, making room for Shinya who sits close – not too close to look suspicious and yet close enough for their shoulders to brush against each other ever so slightly. As ridiculous as it sounds, at least to Kyo… that is really all he needs to feel better.

***

• Kaoru/Shinya
• PG
• prompt: here

Not a single word breaks the silence as long fingers reach through the darkness, tracing over a tattooed shoulder. It’s like he is drawing every single picture again, following the paths of ink from the shoulder to the upper arm, slowly sliding downwards. Kaoru doesn’t even stir. He’s not usually this deep of a sleeper but he’s been exhausted lately, unable to sleep and not willing to even try. When he gets into those moods he feels like there’s too much to do and too little time, and sleep is always what he cuts down on first. Shinya knows it better than anyone. After all, he’s the one who has to watch the other man do this to himself. He’s the one who watches the dark circles grow under the older man’s eyes, who watches his shoulders slowly hunch with exhaustion.

Yet he knows there’s nothing he can do. Nothing anyone can do, since Kaoru simply doesn’t want to be helped. He doesn’t think there even is a problem. That makes the current moment even more precious for Shinya as he finally can watch the other man heal instead of pushing his limits, can watch him take the rest he needs. His every movement is almost tentative, careful not to wake Kaoru up or to disturb his sleep. He smiles as he brushes his fingertips over the guitarist’s lips, his cheek and his eyebrows, tracing his relaxed features like he was tracing his tattoos just a second ago. And he thinks, this is something he could get used to.

***

• Die/Toshiya
• PG
• prompt: silence

Ever since they had begun recording the new album, everyone had felt swamped by work, more stressed out than ever thus far. Quickly, it had led them all to different ways to release the pent up frustration, to calm down the best they could. It wasn’t that uncommon to see both Die and Toshiya vanish to the rooftop during every short break. The rest of the bandmembers never followed them during those moments, knowing better than to interfere when they all were aware of what was going on between those two. They had never really said it, not out loud, but when there was no one else to see but the ones they trusted, it was well visible in every small gesture, every short glance they exchanged. Kaoru mumbled something about not wanting to be scarred for life when he headed down to smoke a cigarette instead of the roof that was a bit closer, followed shortly by the small vocalist.

What was going on at the rooftop then? Nothing that the others imagined at least. Die was standing right beside the railing, leaning his elbows on it as he stretched his back, a cigarette dangling between his full lips. He didn’t even flinch when a large palm was rested on his waist, a little above his hip, long fingers pushing into the gap between his belt and his shirt to touch warm skin. That was the furthest it got. They were smoking in silence, that single touch everything that passed between them. Yet it was more than enough. When Die finished his cigarette he shifted just a little bit closer, until his shoulder was brushing against Toshiya’s chest, as if he was trying to find shelter from the cool wind. Instantly he was pulled closer, just slightly, the movement barely there. A moment later they would both return inside, the tension gone from their shoulders and the sparkle back in their eyes.

***

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:19:44 GMT

So these are the random drabbles that I sent out with some Christmas cards this year :) I know Christmas is already gone and I'm more than a month late but I wanted to first make sure everyone got their drabbles for themselves, before sharing them with others. They're tiny snippets, really short as I wrote them on letter paper originally and the space was very limited XD But yeah. The people were all awesome enough to say their presents could be shared so here are all eight of them :)

• Kaoru/Toshiya
• PG
• for rheakurokawa

Sometimes, Kaoru thinks that Toshiya is like a primary school kid, with the endless enthusiasm of an average seven-year-old. As much as he’s grown calmer along the years, it still only takes a pile of neatly wrapped Christmas presents to send him back to re-live his childhood, tearing the gift-wrap from around the boxes to reveal what treasures are hiding beneath. The picture is perfect to the smallest of details, from Toshiya’s happily sparkling eyes to the enthusiastic smile that is curving his lips. Inwardly, Kaoru decides that he doesn’t need any other Christmas presents than this. This very moment.

• Kaoru/Toshiya
• PG
• for cateris

Looking at the stars above is something that Toshiya doesn’t get to experience too often. There’s not really much time to just calm down and focus on these small magical moments. Besides, it’s a whole different thing to look at the stars here, in the middle of nowhere, in comparison to the faded stars of the bright city. When he first told Kaoru to put on his jacket and follow him into the car, the older man had been torn between confused and grumpy. What the hell were they doing somewhere out here, in the middle of the night and freezing their asses off? Yet it was easy to see the change when the guitarist looked up for the first time, the stars from the sky mirrored in his deep brown eyes. Now, he understood.

• Die/Toshiya
• PG13
• for seinen_no

No one has ever made Die feel quite like Toshiya does. He doesn’t know what it is, but already the smallest of touches from the younger man are enough to draw an extreme reaction from him. All he knows is that it feels that Toshiya knows him better than he does himself, finds every single sensitive spot to sweep over, every right place to tantalize. When Toshiya’s lips trace along his spine it makes him shiver, hot and cold at the same time, everything mixing into one as opposites contradict each other, fill in the whole until there’s nothing but sheer feeling left. He knows he’s helpless to resist, he knows he’ll melt underneath the advances whether he wants it or not. A warm palm rests on his hip and when the fingers curl, nails scraping over the soft flesh, he can’t hold back the tiniest of outcries. He can feel Toshiya smile against his back.

• Kaoru/Die
• PG
• for mog_fuyu

Die has never understood how Kaoru can have such a deranged sense of style. When they all supported the visual looks and pulled off the most interesting combinations, the worst failures in styling were always Kaoru’s weird bug-hats and fishnet-shirts. Even now, with the new casual look, the lead guitarist doesn’t always know just how he should dress without violating every possible rule of common fashion-sense. Still when Die points out to him before their annual Christmas party with the whole band that he should maybe let him help in picking the clothes, Kaoru just shakes his head and tells him he’s got it under control. A few hours later, he appears in the Christmas party, dressed in a perfect Santa Claus outfit. At least now Die knows that this year he wants to sit on Santa’s lap.

• Die/Kyo
• PG
• for cadkitten

It’s been long ever since Kyo last felt complete. For almost all his life, he’s been fighting his inner demons, sometimes succeeding better and sometimes worse. There were times when he felt like nothing was worth it anymore, like he was broken to little pieces deep inside, irreparably. That was when he learned to hate Christmas. It was the holiday for the happy, joyful people and what would he then gain from it? Nothing. Yet, these past months have showed him that maybe he needs to re-evaluate his attitude finally. Even now, with that warm body huddled so close to his, a puff of red hair emerging from underneath the blanket and a pair of arms wrapped loosely around his waist, he can’t deny that he is happy. Happier than he’s ever been on a Christmas morning. And he can’t help but to smile as he hugs Die’s lean frame closer to himself. Maybe he’s not irreparably broken after all.

• Die/Toshiya
• PG
• for daidetre

Die still remembers the first time Toshiya passed him a note at an interview. It was hastily scribbled, only a few messy lines on a bright yellow napkin – god knows where he got that one from – but it managed to brighten the whole day nevertheless. From then on, it became a tradition. Every time they were having a boring interview, both nearly falling asleep on the spot, at some point Toshiya would poke Die’s side and hand him something under the table. Usually it was a small piece of paper, sometimes the words were written on the bassist’s palm in the lack of anything else. Those short confessions of love and little compliments easily made Die smile like an idiot. Even to this date, he’s saved every single one of those little crumpled pieces of paper. They’re love letters, after all.

• Kaoru/Toshiya
• PG
• for sick_pride

Languid, slow mornings like this are something Kaoru could never get enough of. He’s not one to sleep in long in the mornings, he rather wants to get up early and make something productive out of his day. He never felt the need to just lazy around in bed. Not before he found out just how nice those mornings can actually be. When he opens his eyes, he instinctively turns his head until he’s face to face with the actual reason for the change. Toshiya is still asleep, his features relaxed and Kaoru can’t resist the temptation. He raises his hand, reaching out to touch the other man’s smooth cheek with his fingertips. This. This is exactly why he loves slow mornings. If only to watch the other man sleep.

• Kaoru/Die
• PG
• for scwolf_10k

Kaoru has never really thought just how much Die means to him. Granted, he knows he loves him, of course he does after they’ve been together for years now and even live in the same apartment for months. Yet, he has never really stopped to think about it. It’s hard for him to put it into words, maybe that’s one reason why he’s been avoiding the thought. He is more a man of action, showing his affection through his deeds instead of mushy words. Yet all it takes is a completely ordinary morning, a cup of strong coffee and a look straight into the younger guitarist’s eyes. He knows. Without Die he wouldn’t be what he is. He would be incomplete.

---

I already have a bunch of other drabbles done for a drabble-meme and I try to get them posted one of these days too. They're a bit longer than these, but hey, still drabbles x)

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 10:18:23 GMT

Title: Come Pick Me Up
Author: fonulyn
Rating: PG
Pairing: Toshiya/Die
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Toshiya is out with his friends and Die is prepared to have a nice, slow evening while he’s home alone. He barely has the time to even relax before his plans take a turn he didn’t expect. Sometimes the people you think of are just even closer than you expect.
Comments:
fonulyn: So this is now the companion piece to Cold No More, hence has the same background story: sick_pride was wonderful enough to give me some prompt pictures, and seinen_no picked this one saying she wanted a drabble on that. This is now the second one, the version where Toshiya is the one sending the message instead ;) I liked writing two different things on the same prompt picture, and now I kind of want to do it again XD Another way would be that I’d write a fic on the same prompt pic as someone else at the same time… but now I’m babbling so I’ll just shut up and let you get to the fic x)

And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.

Come Pick Me Up

Die’s bare feet were padding on the floor as he crossed the apartment on his way from bathroom to the kitchen. There was only a big fluffy towel wrapped around his hips, another towel around his hair as he’d been too lazy to blow-dry it yet. Small droplets of water were still shimmering on the white skin on his back and his chest. This was exactly how he enjoyed lazy evenings at home; some workout, a long shower and then parking his butt in front of the TV with a cold beer in his hand. It wasn’t that long ago that he would’ve rather hit the clubs and gotten drunk, but now he found that these home evenings were getting more and more frequent.

‘I must be getting old’, he snorted out loud at his own thoughts, shaking his head a bit. Yet, the next second he already admitted himself that it might be the case, even. He did enjoy this slow relaxation a lot these days. Or then he had just simply grown up and too old for the teenaged alcohol consumption habits. Whatever it was, one reason for the change definitely was the fact that he was in a steady relationship. Which had happened like… twice during his whole life before this and it was all pretty new to him. To wake up next to someone each – or at least almost each – morning, to share his home and his whole life. And he kind of liked it.

Especially since he got to share his life with Toshiya. The man had been the constant target of his interest for ages now, he refused to even count how long since it made him feel just unbearably old. Yet now they had actually managed to do something about it, and ever since they took the first step things had developed almost frighteningly fast. How else would he explain the fact that they were already living together after less than two months of dating? Now it had been almost a year though, and the decision had never felt better. It felt so weird to even talk about dating, really, as nothing much had changed. They had always spent much time together, had been hanging out together and gone out clubbing, or had gotten together in the evening to play Nintendo and drink heaps of beer.

They had been close for ages, so the transition from friendship to actually dating had been barely there. There was nothing that told those times apart from these except for the sex. Oh, yes. The amazing, mind-blowing, sensational sex. Now that Die thought of it, he had to actually stop in mid-movement as he was digging out a cold beer from the fridge. He allowed his eyes to slide shut, focusing on the nice, no, hot moments they had spent together. So, after all, things had changed pretty much. At least he wouldn’t have wanted to imagine going back to the times before that amazing sex. Then there were of course the little gestures they exchanged, something that had quickly grown between them. He did enjoy those a hell lot too! With a little chuckle, Die finally straightened and closed the door of the fridge, that long awaited can of beer safely in his palm.

He left his drink in the living room on his way, to await him on the coffee table right in front of their worn couch – which had been the constant topic of debates ever since he had moved in with the bassist as he wanted to get rid of the damn thing while Toshiya claimed it was perfectly comfortable – when he’d get back. It was so late that he only threw on a t-shirt and his boxers, rubbing his hair furiously with the towel before discarding it somewhere on the floor – another thing that Toshiya would initiate a play-fight over, claiming he was always the only one cleaning up although they both knew it wasn’t even true.

When Die finally got back into the living room, sat down on the couch and with a content sigh reached for his beer, his mobile phone beeped demandingly on the table. Without even looking, he knew he had gotten a message, and he even knew it was probably from Toshiya. The younger man had gone out with some old friends, and since Die knew none of them he had decided to rather skip it. He would’ve felt like an outsider anyways, as much as the bunch always tried to include him. Still he was always only referred to as ‘Toshiya’s pretty boyfriend’ and while he didn’t mind the description, at all, he thought that they could as well slowly learn his name.

Reaching for his phone, the guitarist flipped it open and skimmed through the received message. Not that there was much to read anyways, it was basically only one sentence:

/Im drunk and i love you/

Reading it made Die smile though, and shake his head to himself. Oh yes, he could’ve predicted both of those. Yet it did feel good to read it too, that the other man was thinking of him even now that he was out with his friends. Quickly, he typed his response and sent it while sipping his cool beer. /Don’t your friends keep you busy enough? Love you too, goof./ It made him grin, and although they didn’t exactly over-use those three little very clichéd words, it made this certain wave of warmth go through him as he just even thought of it now. Yes, he was getting old. Definitely.

It only took a minute for the reply to come. /No. I miss you and i wanna get home/

Now that made Die frown and he didn’t know where it came from at all. Wanted to get home? Wasn’t he having fun with his friends? Although, it had been only planned to meet over dinner and maybe continue somewhere shortly, as Toshiya’s friends were all from out of town and had to still get back home tonight. They sometimes did cut it short, and one glance at the clock told Die it was already a bit past ten so it could be they had already split up. Curious, he typed his reply. /Then come home. Need me to come pick you up?/

This time, the reply was clear and simple /Yep!/ and Die didn’t even waste the time for a reply before he already got up. He gave his beer one longing glance, thinking that it was such a shame he had only managed to open it and now he already had to leave it all alone. Yet, he had a mission and he would need to fill it. For once he didn’t stand in front of the wardrobe for ages, trying to decide what to wear, but instead grabbed the first pair of sliced jeans that he happened to find, pulling on a long sleeved dark shirt of some band he didn’t even remember ever listening to. Maybe it was Toshiya’s. In a matter of minutes, he was ready and headed to the door while typing a message to the other man, so he would know where to get him.

He was just about to send the message as he swung the door open and stepped outside. But that was the point when he almost got a heart attack. Yes, getting old, it was official now. He almost tripped over a set of long legs stretched out and when he looked down, already prepared to yell at whoever it was that had tripped him, he was brought face to face with his own darling boyfriend. Toshiya was grinning brightly, his cheeks flushed and he had definitely been drinking a few. The first thing to cross Die’s mind was just how extremely gorgeous the bassist looked like this, all relaxed and happy. Of course those black glasses, firm muscles and a body of a Greek god didn’t exactly harm in creating that perfect image…

“Tosh!” Die demanded though, trying his best to look somewhat irritated. “What the heck are you doing here? Didn’t you just tell me you wanted me to come pick you up?” While speaking he deleted the message he had been writing and slipped the phone into his pocket, already digging out his keys to re-open the door he had managed to slam shut even in the midst of his surprise there.

Toshiya just giggled, shaking his head so his curls – Die had never understood why the other man insisted on curling the long fringe of his hair – were almost flowing around his face. “You can pick me up now too!” He announced, the giggles turning into those familiar cackles that were so typical for him. He even reached out his hands, moving his fingers to emphasize that he wanted to be lifted up from the floor.

Die released a huge sigh, reaching down to grab the other man below his armpits so he could yank him up. The bassist stumbled a little, almost falling right against the other man but that didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest. He simply wrapped his arms around Die, planting a wet kiss straight on his lips. It was more than enough to make Die smile again, and he couldn’t keep the amusement away from his voice as he sneaked his arms around the younger man in turn. “Why didn’t you come inside? You made me get dressed and leave my beer, totally in vain.” Although he did aim for the mock-reproachful tone, the words came out far too soft to be taken seriously.

That elicited more merry giggles from the bassist, who was obviously in an enormously good mood for whatever reason. “I forgot my keys!” So that was the explanation. Die spared himself the response to the next logical question he could’ve asked about why the other man didn’t think of ringing the doorbell or something. He didn’t have much time to even say anything at all though, not before Toshiya went on while tugging on his boyfriend’s jacket. “Besides, it’s much more fun to get you out of these when you’re wearing more than only a t-shirt!”

Undeniable logic. Yes. At least Die had nothing to argue that with, nor did he even want to. “Alright, you genius,” he smirked as he tightened the hold he had of the younger man, practically lifting him up so he could sway into the apartment together with his precious burden. “Let’s get inside and I’ll get you a beer too.” He winked. “There’s hockey on TV.”

“Pfft,” Toshiya chuckled as he only clung on to the other man, swaying his legs merrily as he noticed they didn’t touch the ground. “I’ll give you something much more interesting to watch.”

That, was an offer Die was not going to pass. Never in a million years.

---
1817

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 10:12:55 GMT

Title: Cold No More
Author: fonulyn
Rating: PG
Pairing: Toshiya/Die
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Die is drunk, cold and doesn’t know how he ended up in the empty park making angels in the snow. Chances are it’ll turn out to be the warmest evening of his life, after all.
Comments:
fonulyn: This began when sick_pride was wonderful enough to give me some prompt pictures, and seinen_no picked this one saying she wanted a drabble on that. Turns out, it became two drabbles and now I’m posting the first version. In this one, it’s Die sending the message, in the second version (I try to get it up on Sunday maybe) it’s Toshiya sending it. I at least liked how the same picture resulted in two pretty different ficlets :) Yeah, anyways, please do enjoy x)

And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.

Cold No More

The cold wind seemed to bite straight through into his bones, sending a few fluffy flakes of snow swirling in the air. It was actually a wonder there even was snow, it wasn’t that usual and yet it seemed to fit. At least his mood. Die had been drinking the whole night, and still he wasn’t as massively pissed as he should’ve been. Maybe he was developing a better head for it, he snorted inwardly as he realized he was still able to actually walk straight.

Until he slipped and fell down on his flat ass right in the snow he had been admiring seconds earlier. With a huge sigh he fell backwards instead of trying to get up. It was actually quite pretty like this, watching the stars glimmering somewhere up there. Giggling, he moved both his arms and his legs, making an angel in the snow.

It was fun as long as it lasted, but when he afterwards still stayed lying down on his back, he was slowly beginning to feel the coldness seep up along his spine. Maybe it was partly the snow that made its way into his loose pants, pressing against the skin of his back as his jacket had ridden up along his back. A clear shudder went through him, and when he sneezed he decided that it was time to actually get up.

With the second attempt he managed to get up on his feet, brushing most of the snow off his clothes, and trying to dig it out of his back as well with not that great success. His fingers were beginning to ache, so he shoved his hands into his pockets in an attempt to warm them up. Absent-mindedly he was toying with his mobile phone, running his thumb over the side and turning it around between his fingers.

Maybe he should?

Probably he shouldn’t.

Then again, what could he lose with it?

Maybe it was the fact that he was drunk, maybe it was the desperation that had been piling up for the past months. Or maybe there wasn’t any real reason at all, except for impulse as he dug out his mobile from his pocket and began to type a message. A moment later he just stood there, staring at the display of his phone.

Im drunk and i love you

No, no. That didn’t sound anything like he had wanted to. Love confessions were supposed to be grand, impressive and breathtaking! Or then love confessions were these slow, romantic moments when the words just spilled on their own. Whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t this. He would never send a message like that, so better delete it before he would do something he’d regret.

Four seconds and pressing three buttons later, Die was still staring at the display of his phone. This time disbelievingly. He hadn’t just sent the message, had he? Had he? The answer came a moment later when his phone rang. Demandingly, the tune cut through the air, kept on demanding his attention. A single glance at the caller ID was enough to confirm that he had indeed sent the message. Why else would he get a call, especially right now. With a sigh, he raised the phone to his ear.

“Yeah.”

“Die? Where are you?”

Toshiya’s voice was nothing out of the usual, maybe a bit more curious than average, a hint of something like worry laced in the undercurrents of it. Yet Die didn’t comment on that, only ran his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture, trying to figure out what to reply to that. In his alcohol-laced mind he managed to only come up with the truth though, as pathetic as it sounded. “The park.” He didn’t feel the need to elaborate on that further as they both knew which park he meant anyways. It was the park. They’d spent countless moments there, either just the two of them or with a bunch of friends. Only usually in the summer. Or at least when there was no snow.

“Alright. Wait there. I’m coming right up.”

The answer was something so typically Toshiya. He didn’t give Die the time to protest, the time to reply anything. He simply stated how things were and expected it to be accepted like that. So before Die even realized what was going on he had already been cut off and he was standing there with the beeping mobile on his ear. With a small shrug he settled for it, dropping the phone back into his pocket. He would wait as he’d been told.

Twenty-something minutes later Die was freezing. He had again stuffed his hands into his pockets, trying to keep them at least remotely warm. It didn’t work that well though, the only thing even colder than his fingers were his toes. He tried to move around, walk in circles or jump a bit, even if it gained him odd glances from the few passers by. Not that there were many, he was practically alone in there, surrounded by darkness and the thin layer of snow covering everything. He was already beginning to think that he would soon be covered in a layer of snow as well, when he heard a familiar voice greeting him.

“Hi. Sorry it took long.” When Die swung around he was face to face with smiling Toshiya, and no matter how cold and frozen and grumpy he had been just a second ago, that smile washed away all of that and just made him smile in return. When he spotted what Toshiya had with him, the surprise spread right over his features, his eyes widening and even his lips falling open. “Wha -?” He nodded into the general direction of the item, not even able to form a coherent question.

Toshiya arched an eyebrow, making a questioning sound but then he followed the direction of Die’s gaze into what he was holding in his hand and laughed. “Oh this! It’s for you.” He reached out his hand, offering Die what indeed seemed to be an ice cream cone. “I already ate mine on the way, so yeah, this is yours.” He smiled again, when Die automatically reached to take the ice cream into his at least equally icy fingers. Toshiya must be crazy, he thought inwardly, and yet he couldn’t help but to chuckle at that.

“You’re weird, Tosh, I hope you know that.” He shook his head, tentatively tasting the ice cream. Chocolate. At least Toshiya had known to pick the right flavor for him. Or of course he had, they knew each other well enough, and he knew that if Toshiya had eaten his own cone already on the way, it had definitely been mango-banana. The sweet made him smile though, as cold as it was, and somehow as weird as it sounded it made him feel all warm inside.

“Yeah, I know.” Toshiya laughed, that contagious, free cackle of his that reached all the way up to his sparkling eyes. He had shoved his hands into his pockets as well, a scarf wrapped loosely around his long neck. He at least had his winter-gear much more under control than Die did, obviously. Then again he had known he’d be coming into a snow-covered park while to Die, it had still been a big mystery an hour ago. The guitarist was interrupted in his thoughts soon though, when the other man spoke up again. “I just wanted to get you one since we always eat one here.”

The reasoning was flawless, simple and typically Toshiya. And Die had to admit that it worked. At least it instantly made him smile and the ice cream tasted even better than before. They didn’t say anything at all after that, just stood there in silence, in the middle of the park in the darkness. Just the two of them. And when Die had finally finished his cone, wiping his fingers on his pants – they were wet anyways – Toshiya stepped closer to wrap an arm around his shoulders. “Let’s get you home and all warmed up, eh?”

Die nodded, the smile on his lips widening. It was so easy to tilt his head to the side and rest it on the other man’s shoulder for a second, the arm around him even tightening as a response.

Together they walked off, and Die wasn’t feeling cold any longer.

---
words: 1405

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:28:34 GMT

Title: Shotgun wedding; Chapter 6: Back to Basics
Author: seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: The Niikura’s and the Andou’s used to be the two biggest families in town, wealthy and respected to the point of practically ruling the business as they wished. Times have changed though, and thus the heads of the clans have decided to take the needed steps to join their families to restore their power. Single persons don’t have much to say about anything when the whole future of the families is in question, that much the eldest sons of the Niikura family and the Andou family have to come to notice.
Comments:
fonulyn: So this time only comments from me :D We are both so so SO sorry that it’s so late again and we took so long with the chappie. We had all the good intentions to get it done earlier but somehow things got in the way and blabla and real life and all that jazz x) So please take our apologies along with an offering: some more smut! 8D I hope you’ll enjoy it! And the story… it is progressing too *laughs*

And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive .

Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Shotgun Wedding
Chapter 6: Back to Basics

The morning came and went, and even Kaoru who usually always woke up early didn't stir once. Only way after noon the redhead opened one eye, carefully peeking into the room. When his gaze met his husband, lying there close beside him his first instinct was to startle, before he remembered what had happened and the memory simply made him smile. He did feel good, still at this very moment. Although when he shifted slightly the burning feeling in his lower back confirmed they had been kind of harsh.

The movement woke Kaoru instantly and he did flinch when he was looking straight into a pair of huge brown eyes; something he hadn't expected to see. He almost dropped out of the bed, but managed to keep balance at the last moment.

Slowly, everything came back into his mind, the frustration the old Mr. Andou's words had caused, the passion between him and the redheaded man, the rough and steamy sex. When he took a deep breath, he could still smell the scent of sweat, bodyfluids and genuine Die. He did like it but the thought alone made his stomach twitch. "Gods, what did we do?" he asked, more himself than anybody else.

He just had destroyed the hopes of his family. If anybody ever found out, the work of the past months had been in vain and his father would be deeply disappointed.

"We fucked." Die shrugged casually, a small smirk even tugging the corners of his mouth as he looked straight at his husband, like this would be the most natural moment in the world. In a way it even was, after all they were married and wasn't it what married couples did, spent a night together and woke up beside each other?

The redhead noticed the other man's confusion though and that made him oddly content even, since never before had he seen Kaoru like that. He moved closer, until their faces were almost touching, and practically purred out the words. "We had the most amazing, hot, steamy sex ever. And for your information: you loved it."

The last words were echoing in Kaoru's head and he had to admit that the other man was right. When he recalled several moments of the previous night, he couldn't say that he hadn't liked it. But how were they supposed to go on from now. Slowly, he allowed his gaze to roam over the redhead's body down to the part that was covered by the blanket and then further to his lean legs that seemed to be just perfect to be wrapped around your hips.

He was still confused, or more uncertain of what he wanted, of what he was supposed to do now. Finally though, he carefully rested his head on the cushion again, nodding a bit. "I think you're right." That was the biggest concession he could make at a moment like that where he didn't feel as secure as usually.

That made Die smile, that positively stunning smile of his that had the tendency to make everyone fall for his charm. He decided he didn't need to tease the other man more with it right now, and that he didn't want to break the comfortableness from between them since for once they didn't feel like killing each other. Slowly Die sat up, trying to cover how sore he actually was.

"Wanna go get something to eat?" He turned his head to look at the other man questioningly, reaching to the chair that was almost right beside his bed to get his dressing gown. Enough clothing for today, he decided when wrapping it around himself.

"That sounds perfect." Actually, Kaoru was more thirsty, but now that Die mentioned it, it felt like ages since he had had something to eat. Slowly, he got out of the bed as well, only hardly managing to suppress the need to cover his bareness. He just grabbed his boxers from the floor somewhere and stepped into them before stalking towards the door.

"Shall I go and see what our servants prepared for us?" The question came over his lips naturally and he enjoyed that the usually always present tension between them was gone now. Why not be friendly with each other, right? Besides, no matter how well Die covered it, he KNEW he was sore and probably not only a little bit after what they had done the last night.

The offer made the redhead smile and he nodded. "Thank you. Meanwhile, I will see what's on TV." He followed Kaoru out of the bedroom – casting a very intense glance at his butt, which looked positively gorgeous – trying his best to walk straight despite the present soreness. As they reached the couch he settled down on it, pulling his legs up to his chest and instantly reached for the remote to turn the TV on.

He could hear Kaoru go through the kitchen and somehow he enjoyed the moment, not only because he was being served and didn't have to do anything. When he even found one of his old favorite animations on TV, just about to begin, it lifted his mood even more since it had been ages since he had last seen that.

When his husband returned, he carried two plates with small snacks on them and a bottle of coke pressed underneath his arm. "Could you take the bottle?" he asked, turning so that Die could take it off him while Kaoru put the plates on the small table in front of them.

In doing so, he caught a glance at the TV and instantly released a delighted sound. "I love that series." He really did, remembering how he had watched it as a child and then later with his younger brother. He had had no idea that the redhead liked classics like those as well.

"They are showing the whole series again!" Die nodded enthusiastically, smiling with his eyes locked on the screen still. "Starting from today, how cool is that? And that it's just beginning, not a single episode is yet gone!" He had always loved the animation, and was still so enthusiastic that he didn't even realize that his husband had just turned out to be as much of a fanboy as he.

"The whole series?" Kaoru's features brightened even more and after grabbing himself a snack before he pulled up his legs and got himself comfortable on the couch as well. Taking a bit of the food, he turned to look at his husband, practically beaming with his mouth full. "I hope you don't mind a long day before the TV then." They were showing several episodes in a row and he didn't intend on missing even one.

"Are you kidding me!?" Die laughed freely, turning towards his husband just for enough time to give him a grin. "I ain't moving my butt anywhere! I fucking love the series and when they release it on DVD I'm the first one to buy it!" Somehow Kaoru's happy expression was so adorable that it made him smile too, before turning back to the screen again not to miss anything.

That was just exactly what they did, sit in front of the TV, eat, drink Coke and beer and only go to the toilet during the commercial breaks. It was like being a child again and both men were suffering with their favourite characters whenever they got into trouble, although they knew the series by heart.

It was the first moment during their marriage when they both discovered they actually had something in common and Kaoru enjoyed the fact just as much as Die did. Only late at night, when the first part of the marathon had ended, they decided to take a shower, separately, and then head back to bed.

The next day would be a normal working day and it was safe to say that Kaoru was curious how the feeling would be between him and his husband then. Even though they weren't supposed to be too friendly with each other as their servants would be back to spy on them again, he still hoped that the tension would be gone forever.

The following morning Die was back to his usual habits so Kaoru didn't really see him before he went to work, if one doesn't count the moment when he walked through his bedroom. In the evening when he returned home he found his husband was again watching television, and when he later joined him there actually wasn't that huge tension anymore. But neither was there the friendliness from the previous day, as they simply were silent and more or less ignoring each other.

It went on like that from then on, as if they had decided to forget what had happened and just go on like before, minus the oppressiveness since nowadays their silences were more comfortable than before. Besides, they found out that there was a couple of other TV-series they both liked too, although none came even close to the one series they had been watching together that one day.

Kaoru already thought that it was probably the best this way, because if they found more similarities between them or even fucked more often, the chance that they blew it and one of their servants would spill the beans towards Die's father would have been to big. He was content with the things as they were, didn't complain. Still, it was also sad to see how easily they could get back to ignoring each other and forget the good time they had had, even if one counted out the sex.

Two mornings later, Kaoru was awake again before the redhead, he found him fast asleep still and actually took a moment to watch him. Die was so gorgeous like that, tangled in the blanket with his hand underneath his cheek, his lips parted while he was breathing evenly. Suddenly, something caught his eyes and he turned to look at the nightstand. There was an old, worn out copy of a book which Kaoru just knew all too well. It was a copy of Oscar Wilde's "The picture of Dorian Gray", one of his most favourite books.

Never would he have thought that Die was interested in literature, or even classical literature that was. Again, his gaze travelled back to his slightly younger husband and now there was even something like true admiration in it. He took a moment still to watch the man on the bed, before reluctantly tearing his gaze away and leaving the room.

For some time it made things easier that they had been able to really let off some steam, and they both felt more content sexually as well. But seeing that they both were young and horny by nature, it didn't take long and they were already getting slightly frustrated over the celibacy they were again living in.

Die caught himself thinking of the night they had shared more often, and although he had to admit some things might've been glorified in the memory he still knew it had been purely amazing and he wouldn't have minded re-enacting it. He was even plotting how they could keep on doing something like that together and keep it as a secret from his father. In the end he never suggested anything to Kaoru though, somehow never having either the perfect moment or the needed guts.

Still, more and more often he was thinking of Kaoru while silently gratifying himself, allowing images of their shared night flood his mind, along with fantasies his vivid imagination came up with. His husband simply was gorgeous, and worth of numerous moments like that. Die had even stopped bothering about it, just freely using the other man to feed his fantasies.

Usually he waited until his husband was definitely asleep, not wanting him to just bump into the room while he was at it, since he naturally needed to go through the room to get out of his own bedroom. Sometimes he was simply too needy to bother though and when nothing ever happened he grew more calm with it and allowed his mind – and hands – to wander whenever he felt like he needed it.

Kaoru was standing at the door, the handle already in the hand as he had a dry throat and wanted something to drink still. They both had gone to bed quite a long time ago already and so he expected his husband to be asleep already. But before he opened the door, he heard a suspicious sound. Had that just been a moan? If Die now was having fun with one of their servants, he would slash him certainly.

Quietly, not to either wake Die up or make him suspicious, Kaoru pushed the door open and peeked through a small gap. What he saw though made the breath hitch in his throat and he just pushed the door open all the way, bluntly staring at the scene.

Die had left the bedside lamp on and was lying in the middle of the bed, one hand between his legs doing things he could only imagine while the other was running up and down his hardness. He obviously enjoyed himself, eyes half closed and lips parted with quiet and yet deep sighs leaving them every now and then.

Immediately, all the blood in Kaoru's body seemed to rush to his groin, his body reacting forcefully to the sight. After all, he wasn't made of stone and the other man was simply gorgeous, desirable and so fucking sexy that it made water gather in his mouth.

The redhead didn't notice anything although the door was already completely open, the other man not even trying to hide though he didn't make a move to step more into the room either. His mind was simply lost in the feelings completely, lost in the images he had created to feed his lust, to match the touches he was providing himself with.

In his mind he was simply re-enacting the night they had spent together, like so many times before already. He was imagining that Kaoru was the one who made him part his legs more, imagined his hardness invading him inch by inch, his hands on his arousal teasing him and pushing him higher. It was a perfect image, just what he needed, and he didn't even notice when a silent 'Kaoru…' left his lips as a breathless whisper.

His husband heard it though and it caused his heart to skip a beat and a smile appeared on his lips. He had no idea what made him finally step closer to the bed and even sit down. Leaning towards the redhead, he whispered. "Careful. You don't want our servants to think we get along, do you?"

His voice was only a low purr and before Die had the chance to react or even flinch, he reached out his hand, lacing his fingers around the other man's. Adding a bit more pressure than Die had used, he began stroking him, his eyes locked on his features.

That made a long, low groan roll off the younger man's lips and he automatically bucked up into the touch, trying to get more of the feelings that shot through his whole being instantly. His first instinct had been to ask Kaoru what the fuck was he doing there, but right now he decided it wouldn't be worth it and he would rather enjoy the touch on his arousal, the way the other man was leaning closer to him so that his warmth was devolving on him as well.

"Don't worry," He whispered lowly as he got his voice back, managed to answer only with a slight delay. "I can be silent." There was a small smile caressing his lips, until it fell prey to the next flash of pleasure that caused him to gasp helplessly.

Unable to resist, Kaoru tilted his head, scraping his teeth over the smooth skin of his husband's long neck. He was hoping Die hadn't lied when it came to being quiet as he increased the speed of his stroking a bit, his thumb brushing across the already wet tip a couple of times.

He did notice that Die's free hand was still between his legs, moving there as well and it made him grin. "Did you think of me?" The question was spoken directly to the other man's ear, followed by a wet tongue that travelled the shell. "Because I've been thinking about you too a couple of times when I was lying in my bed. And gods," the last word was only cool breath striking the wet skin, "you make such a good fantasy."

The redhead was shuddering uncontrollably, Kaoru's mere voice enough to turn him on and when it was combined with the teasing licks and touches he was helpless but to succumb. A small whimper escaped him and he squirmed on his place, not knowing whether to thrust more into the other man's hand or to give himself more with his fingers.

It took a short moment for him to realize he hadn't voiced his reply out loud, had only thought it, and so he swallowed hard before whispering the words out between a couple of harsh breaths. "Yes, I was thinking of you." He closed his eyes and jerked upwards again as the other man teased the sensitive tip of his arousal with his thumb. "God that feels good." He tilted his head instinctively so that their faces were only inches apart, parting his lips as if begging for a kiss.

Kaoru took the hint and while forcing his thumb through the slit on the crown of his lover's length, he closed the distance between them, initiating a deep kiss. Of course he hadn't thought this through, hadn't thought if he just wanted to help the other man, but right now feeling the thick, heated flesh in his palm and knowing that Die gave himself even more with his fingers was enough for him to want to see it to the end.

The kiss lasted long, but had to break at one point due to the need for oxygen, both men panting harshly as they were equally aroused. Almost gently, Kaoru pecked Die's lips again and since he couldn't ask him to moan for him more, he just demanded simply. "Then show me how good. Come on, come for me. Tell me how to make your vision come true."

That made Die groan as if on command although he didn't even do it on purpose but simply because it felt so good that the sound escaped him automatically. It was far better than doing it himself and he was more than content that things had turned out like this and that the other man had decided to join him.

A part of him enjoyed the moment so much that he would've wanted it to last as long as possible, and he was even trying to hold back before Kaoru's words echoed in his mind again. With another low, almost inaudible moan he let go, simply allowing the feelings to overpower him. It took only a split second and he was coming, holding his breath as his whole being tensed and the pleasure coursed through every molecule of his being.

For the slightly older man it was bliss as well to watch his orgasm, to see how his features were distorted by ultimate pleasure. He could have sworn that he had never seen anything more beautiful than that, nothing more enticing. Even when he felt warm stickiness stain his hand, he didn't stop moving it in a long while to enhance the sensations. But finally he stilled and planted a small kiss on Die's lips as if to reward him.

This was like doing something forbidden, like stealing your father's best whiskey only to secretly drink it with your best friend or like smoking your first cigarette in your room with the air refreshener always at hand in case you heard your parents come towards your room. Funnily, Kaoru wasn't afraid that somebody could walk in on them, nor did he regret what just had happened. Quite the contrary, this time he was sure he would want to re-enact it, only with him being involved.

Still aroused himself, he brought up his hand to at least have a taste of the other man. The strong bitter taste of Die's release made a small shudder run through him. Actually, he even liked it, especially in his lust-intoxicated state of mind.

Die needed a moment to clam down, simply gasping and trying to fill his lungs with the needed oxygen they had been lacking. Only when his breathing was getting a little more even he turned to face the other man better, a happy grin like stuck on his lips. "If this is the outcome, you're welcome to enter my room without knocking anytime."

Somehow seeing Kaoru's face so close to his own made him freeze for a second though, and he simply silently examined those delicate features, noticing somewhere deep down inside that the other man was most definitely one of the most gorgeous men he had ever seen. Not to say anything embarrassing he tilted his head, catching his husband's lips in a slow kiss.

Kaoru just let it happen, his eyes falling half way shut. It was a nice kiss, tender almost and definitely carried more emotions than those they had exchanged before. When they parted again, he was smiling as well. "I would have knocked if I hadn't thought you'd be sleeping," he breathed out with a wink. "And by the way, you chose to stuff me into the back room with only one way out…"

"Well maybe this was my clever plan already then?" The redhead smirked confidently, a small chuckle escaping him. Like tentatively he moved his leg though, brushing his thigh against the other man's groin to see if he had reacted to the moment and if yes, how much. He could as well prolong the moment now that they were so conveniently close, right?

The action elicited a small sigh from the other man who was unable to stifle the sound in the last moment. He had reacted quite a lot indeed and if Die bothered to take a look, he would have seen that there was a nice bulge forming in Kaoru's boxers. "No," the smaller man shook his head though, chuckling a bit. "You're not clever enough to come up with such a plan."

"Now I'm hurt…" Die pouted, pursing his lips to create a sweet sulking expression. One could see he wasn't that serious though, especially since his eyes were sparkling in this certain mischievous way. Like accidentally he allowed his hand to move down the other man's chest, sliding it inside his boxers before he could do anything. Shamelessly he laced his fingers around the hardening flesh, tentatively giving it a slow stroke.

Instinctively, Kaoru parted his legs a bit to offer Die's hand more room between them, his eyes again falling half-way shut. On some level, his brains hadn't processed yet what was happening there between them and especially in his pants. "Don't be," Kaoru answered after some time. "Not everybody can be as intelligent as I am and," he turned his head, looking at his husband with a dirty grin, "after all, a wife doesn't need her head for more than to think about what haircolor to choose next."

That would've made Die probably snap if he had been more stressed, but he was simply too relaxed and there was something in Kaoru's expression and in the way he said it that made him take it merely as a joke. Still he decided to 'punish' the other man and gave his arousal a not-too-gentle squeeze. "Yeah, but if you were as clever as you say, you wouldn't pass a perfect opportunity like this and would instead put this," another squeeze underlined the words, "into good use."

Within the blink of an eye, he found himself lying on his back with Kaoru hovering above him. The young Niikura had grabbed both of Die's wrists and now pressed them against the mattress. "And what is a 'good use' in your opinion?" he asked and moved his hips, pressing his hardness against the other man's thigh. "Didn't you rather want to say 'put this into me'?" His voice was low, a bit breathless and carried the certain undertone that clearly showed how aroused he was.

The tone of his voice again made a clear shudder go along Die's spine, and he closed his eyes for a second. He had felt how hard the other man already was and yes, he definitely wanted a piece of that arousal, no matter what. Somehow he managed to open his eyes, giving his husband the most seductive glance he could manage. "You see right through me. Just do it," He tilted his head, running his lips along the other man's jawline. "I want it in. Deep." Somehow already being immobilized like that, having his arms pinned down on the mattress, was a huge turn on and his breathing was slowly turning more erratic than before.

Slowly, without haste, Kaoru pushed his knee between Die's legs, forcing them apart. Coevally, he brought Die's arms up above his head so that he could hold him still by using only one hand. Of course he knew that the taller man could easily break free if he wanted to, but this wasn't about a real fight, this was a playful display of dominance and power and the young Niikura enjoyed it to no end. Once he was seated between the other man's long legs, he bent forward and initiated a rough kiss while steadying his arousal with his free hand, again taking his husband without lube, his first thrust already reaching deep.

It caused a long, raw scream escape the younger man, and he tilted his head to deepen the kiss even further, smothering the sound by letting it drown out in the other man's mouth. He couldn't believe they had already been married for so long, and only now were really getting intimate with each other properly. They simply matched and deal or not Kaoru was more than gorgeous enough to break any rule. Quickly Die used the moment, wrapping his long legs around his lover's hips to pull him even closer. Although that hindered the movements somewhat, made them less forceful, he didn't mind and didn't let go.

Kaoru's chest was heaving although he didn't get enough air through his nose to fill his lungs properly. Yet, who was he to complain? This actually made more than up to all the frustration he had suffered during their marriage. He would have been able to resist Die, because even though he was gorgeous, more than that, there would have always been somebody beautiful enough to be the substitute. But now that he had had a taste of him, a feel of him, it became more than clear that there wouldn't be anybody else who could meet the younger man in perfection. And Kaoru knew that there was no turning back anymore. At least not for him.

Pushing back against the resistance of Die's legs in his back, Kaoru tried to build up an even rhythm of hard thrusts varying with shallow, almost gentle ones. Aided by the redhead, he finally found the perfect way to move, never breaking the kiss to stifle the sounds that were threatening to leave both of them in the heat of passion.

It was simply perfect, if one asked Die, and he could've sworn that the other man was able to read his thoughts, since he always knew how to angle his thrusts and how much force to put behind them. Every time when he felt like those hard thrusts would be enough to push him over the edge Kaoru slowed down, only teasing him with slow and shallow movements that made him feel like he was going mad. He was squirming and writhing, trying to meet the thrusts and aid them with his legs, simply allowing himself to get lost in the feelings.

Sweat was beading on their skins, both their chests heaving as they would've desperately needed to breathe but were still reluctant to break the ravenous kiss. But they had to, and when they parted they still kept their faces close to each other, their breaths mixing. Once Die looked deep into the other man's eyes he felt the breath hitch in his throat and he couldn't look away, something passing between them for that one split second. He didn't have the time to dwell on it though, barely had the time to notice there was something, because his body betrayed him by reaching its limits. He tensed, barely able to hold back the feral outcry when the pleasure overcame him.

It was pure instinct that Kaoru let go of his lover's wrists and instead used his hand to cover the other man's mouth. Under no circumstances was anybody to hear them. That was the only clear thought that was still lingering on his mind as everything else had fallen prey to the pleasure that was running through him. When he felt Die's hot release on his lower stomach, it caused a shiver through him and he could feel a scream crawl up his throat. Before it had the chance to be voiced though, Kaoru tilted his head and sank his teeth into the younger man's shoulder, allowing his own orgasm to take over and wash away everything from his mind for those few blissful seconds.

The redhead shuddered when he felt the other man's teeth on his skin, a tiny groan escaping him but he still had Kaoru's hand in front of his mouth and it smothered the sound somewhat. His eyes had fallen closed but he forced them open again, simply wanting to witness his husband's bliss and see the pleasure distorted features. It was all so new to them, being only the second time they had ever laid hands on each other, but he had a feeling that there would be more times to come.

Only when Kaoru was slowly relaxing, opened his eyes and removed his hand from Die's mouth, he received a small kiss on his lips. The tiniest of chuckles fell from the redhead's lips and he was grinning freely, obviously more than pleased with himself and with how the situation had developed and then turned out eventually.

When the kiss broke again, Kaoru was smiling, his gaze resting upon his redheaded husband and there was clear affection in it. The moment was gone instantly though and the older man blinked and pulled back a bit. "So, you can be quiet, eh?" he asked teasing.

"That was quiet." Die shrugged a bit, only now remembering to unhook his legs from around the other man to allow him to move if he wished. "No one heard a thing." He was certain that they had been silent enough, and besides the only servants who slept there were staying in the other end of the house, most likely sleeping at this hour.

His expression alone, the convinced nod he gave, made Kaoru chuckle a bit and peck his lips once more before he pulled away from him. "Yeah, and we better keep it that way, right?" With a small content sigh, he rolled on his back, lying right beside the taller man with their shoulders touching. Somehow, the small touch made him feel like a teenager again, made him feel high and happy just like when you managed to put your arm around the shoulders of your crush at the movies. Suddenly, he turned his head to look at the man beside him. "Die? Do you have a smoke?"

"Hm? Yeah, gimme a sec." Die turned his head enough to flash the other man a grin, before rolling over to reach to the bedside. He opened the drawer and fumbled for a second, throwing an almost full pack of cigarettes at his husband. "There. Give me one while you're at it." He rolled back to his place, smiling innocently.

Shaking his head, Kaoru lit two cigarettes and then shoved one between his husband's lush lips. "There. You lazy bastard." Actually, he felt more than good since he hadn't anticipated them to get back to having sex again. Or at least not this soon. In his mind, he already saw the end of the life-long dryspell at hand and it made him grin like a moron.

"Why do something yourself that you can make others do for you?" Die asked, laughing lowly. He tried to still keep his voice down and make sure they weren't loud enough to attract attention even if someone happened to pass by the room accidentally. The only problem was that he was so relaxed, enjoyed the moment so much, that it was hard to remember being discreet and not just allow himself be completely natural.

Kaoru pressed his lips together tightly not to laugh out loud. "That's your philosophy?" This time, he allowed the teasing comment. "And you ask yourself why everybody assumes you're the wife?" It was somehow clear that this was just playful teasing and for some reason it was even clear that Kaoru didn't mean it himself.

"Well…" The younger man had to laugh at that, and he shifted on his place until he was lying on his side and looking straight at the other man. "I think it's a good philosophy. It shows just that I'm clever, not that I'm girly."

"Oh no, you certainly are not girly, I can attest that." Kaoru enjoyed the moment and after releasing a cloud of smoke from his lungs, he turned his head to look at the other man. Die's features were totally relaxed and open, his eyes sparkling like Kaoru had never seen before. So this was how the real Die looked like. Inwardly, Kaoru thought he could get used to that, would like to see it more often. "No girl would take it like you did without whining or giving me hell afterwards," he added with a wink.

"Glad that I managed to at least convince you about it." The redhead smirked, but one could see he was honestly pleased to hear the words, and there was something like a happy sparkle in his eyes. "Too bad there's not many others who'd believe that." He shrugged, but then decided it wasn't worth it to go there and instead leaned in to steal a short kiss from the other man. "I hope I can trust on you agreeing with me, since if I get to decide there'll be a lot more of this from now on."

"A lot more whenever we're not endangered of getting caught," Kaoru corrected him winking. "I'm in." He meant it, had already thought this through before. Why shouldn't he take advantage of being married to a gorgeous man, right? As long as they both wanted it and gave their best to conceal it from Die's family and the servants, there would be no harm done.

"Exactly, no getting caught." Die nodded instantly, pursing his lips a bit in a thoughtful gesture. "I bet dad has scattered his people all around us, I wouldn't trust anyone." He knew, even without being told straight, that his father was probably spying on them from every possible direction, using everything that was in his powers to ensure that nothing indecent was going on in the house.

"Doesn't matter." His husband shook his head firmly. "We're more clever than he is, right? And damn, I don't ever want to be this horny again. It fucking hurt and I would just want to put your old man through something like that just that he sees how low it is to do that to somebody." He spoke with contempt and conviction, the words coming straight from the bottom of his heart.

"My father is an iron man. He lives through anything." The redhead smirked. "And I don't mean that as a compliment, I just know he's inhuman. But he knows what he forced upon us with the deal and I bet he's very happy with himself even right now. If that sourpuss even can be happy anymore, that is."

Kaoru felt how much was wrong between the redhead and his father and he really felt sorry for him. He himself had always been protected and supported by his family and suddenly he wondered how Die had become capable of feeling anything when his father was such a cold-hearted man. He had to alter his opinion about his husband. Die seemed to be a fine man with a good heart but the circumstances of their meeting had just been bad.

"But hey, we've found a way for us to pay him back now. Only that he'll never find out."

"Yeah." The words elicited an honest smile from the slightly younger man and he nodded instantly. "But it's still a proper revenge, just to imagine what he would think of it all and how he would be infuriated."

Suddenly, Kaoru became serious, pressing two fingers on the other man's lips. "Just promise me that you won't drop a remark anywhere, that you'll try to keep this a secret as much as I do. No matter how tempting it is to take revenge." He suddenly became aware that he didn't know anything about the other man and was afraid that Die could just use him to get his revenge on his father. At least that thought did occur to him.

Die's first answer was a smile though, and he nodded honestly. "I promise it, trust me." He honestly meant it, and he hadn't even realized that the other man could actually fear him spilling the beans purposefully. He wasn't ready to break the deal either, knew what serious troubles it would cause and he was too scared of the consequences to even think of facing them. "It's not like I wouldn't have anything to lose here."

"You mean with me?" A faint smile appeared on Kaoru's lips which finally widened into a huge grin. "Well, I would say you only win with me."

"Well, you will have to prove that." Die arched an eyebrow, pursing his lips as he looked at the other man in an evaluating way. "And let me tell you, I'm not that easy to convince." There was a sparkle in his eyes though, showing he wasn't that serious.

The slightly older man understood it and the smile stayed on his lips even when he leaned in to peck Die's. "I don't have to prove anything," he whispered, his voice quiet but intense. "It will all happen by itself." Stealing another short kiss, he already wriggled a bit, moving closer to the bed's edge. "But I think I heard the kitchen maid already. So it's time to leave." It was somewhere around four in the morning, the time for the maid to get up and prepare breakfast for the young Niikura because he would get up between six thirty and seven usually. The funny thing was, he didn't really eat much breakfast, but she always prepared him something to take with him to work.

For a split second the younger of the two was a little stunned even, freezing in mid-movement as he noticed that he had almost reached out for his husband. Soon he overcame his surprise though and smiled, pulling the blanket over himself before snuggling into the pillows. "Good night then. Or what's left of it." He chuckled a bit, knowing the other man would have to get up in no time. It wasn't as if he would've been malicious or anything, but he knew that Kaoru wouldn't really mind getting so little sleep, not after a night like this.

Silently Kaoru slipped into his own room, closing the door as silently as possible since he obviously didn't want the loud bang to echo throughout the house at an hour like this. Die followed him with his gaze, reaching then for the bedside lamp to turn it off finally. Still, when he was lying between the sheets, hugging his blanket, he couldn't sleep. His eyes were boring holes into the darkness, his mixed thoughts running. Somehow he felt restless, would've preferred if Kaoru would've stayed with him still, although he didn't even really know why.

It wasn't much better for Kaoru, but he blamed the still present physical bliss and the confusing thoughts. He knew that he would have loved to just stay with his husband, to fall asleep next to him after what they had done, but he simply didn't dare. There was always the danger of a maid or the butler barging in. Of course they would knock, but that wouldn't leave him much time to wake up and hurry to his room.

He was lying there, wide awake, his gaze fixed on the ceiling, allowing his thoughts to run freely. Even when his alarm rang, he was moving slowly, mechanically doing what had to be done without putting much thought into it. When he again crossed his husband's and secret lover's room, he took a few seconds to just watch the other man sleep. It caused his heart to beat a bit faster, only to know that he did have something as gorgeous as Die in reach and yet he was so far away. If things went on like that from now on, he knew they were bound to be discovered and yet he tried to shrug the thought off and think positive. They could have much fun together, would get their kicks out of doing something forbidden whenever they had sex which definitely added a certain spice to the act.

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 09:27:43 GMT

Title: Phallus Symbol
Author: fonulyn
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Toshiya/Die
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Even a visit to a botanical garden can turn more interesting when your companion is an incurable pervert.
Comments:
fonulyn: This is actually originally written in Berlin last year, when me and my family visited the botanical garden and in the end… there were interestingly shaped cactuses XD (I have pictures, too!) Now I just had to still type it on the computer, and fix it a bit since I had written it in my little black book hastily ;) It’s short, but maybe it’ll amuse you like it amused me!
Also, dedicating it to sick_pride; I know it’s not your fav pair but maybe it’ll do to make you smile ;)

And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.

Phallus Symbol

”That looks like a dick.”

The statement that might’ve been amusing the first time it was said out loud only managed to make Die raise one eyebrow now that he heard it the sixteenth time that day. He was beginning to think that someone had a broken recorder hidden somewhere. “No, Toshiya,” he turned to look at the bassist, releasing a small sigh, “It does not. It’s a cactus, it looks like a cactus.”

Now the words made the bassist frown in turn, crossing his arms across his chest. “No. It does look like a dick. C’mon, look at the shape of that thing! It’s pretty nice and thick too, and…” At that point he was cut off by a quick hand-gesture from the guitarist. “No, no! Stop that! When we get one long awaited day off, even if it is in some garden, you could at least try to enjoy it.” Already when speaking, Die had to let the small, stubborn grin break free on his lips. The younger man was simply all too adorable like this, still watching the cactus and frowning a little.

There was a mischievous sparkle hidden somewhere in Toshiya’s eyes though, and it almost made Die flinch when the gaze was turned at him. “Don’t you see it, still?” He asked, an with one quick step he was standing right beside the guitarist, so close to him that Die could feel the warmth emitting from him. No one was close enough to them to see what was going on, the masses of plants blocking the view from all sides. Boldly, Toshiya sneaked one arm around Die’s waist, pulling the older man against his chest.

Automatically, Die closed his eyes, focusing on the way he could feel the bassist’s chest move against his back. The next second there was a hot breath hitting his ear, a low voice resonating in the air. “I’m already looking forward to the evening…” That now was an argument Die couldn’t contradict, nor did he want to. When Toshiya went on, sneaking his both arms around him, he was sold. “Babe, once we’re alone, I will show you what five days of celibacy can do to a man, and release all the pent-up pressure on you…”

Die could feel a set of warm lips press on his neck, and he knew he had no way to resist. In fact, now he couldn’t wait until the evening either. Grinning, he tilted his head until he could look at the younger man from sparkling eyes.

“You know,” he chuckled lowly, “it does look like a dick.”

Their eyes met and neither of them could stop grinning.

.

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 10:40:26 GMT

Title: Good Morning
Author: fonulyn
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Kaoru/OC (named Aiji)
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: It’s almost too easy to make Kaoru agree to anything at a moment like this, right after waking up, when sleep is still lingering in his limbs, his defences down. It’s just impossible to resist him then, impossible.
Comments:
fonulyn: This is for my better half and the light of my life, seinen_no since she wanted me to write something with these two XD Aiji is an original character in one of our long projects and somehow, without us two having any control over it, he and Kaoru ended up together. Although Kaoru was supposed to be straight! Anyways, he found the man of his life XD Maybe they’re a bit similar, both being these tattooed, tough guys (at least on the outside) and that attracts? Anyways, I don’t know if anyone of you is interested, but do give it a try! :) It’s at least Kaoru and some hot smut! And you can always try to replace the OC with someone else in your head if necessary XD

And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.

Good Morning

The room is dark, the black heavy curtains closed so that there is only a small gap between them, allowing a bit of light to seep through. It’s barely enough to make out shapes and edges, slight changes in color. Yet, Aiji has been awake for hours now, lying on his side with his head propped up, his cheek on his palm and his elbow steadied in the mattress. He doesn’t even need to look at the clock to know it’s way past noon, has to be as they only fell asleep in the early morning hours when the sun had already been lingering in the horizon, both too exhausted to keep awake any longer.

Slowly, he reaches out his hand in the dark, brushing his fingertips over the tattooed shoulder of the man before him, sliding them further along the smooth skin. Kaoru is still asleep, and he can’t deny he enjoys the sight, the whole moment. He has been watching the other man breathe steadily for a while now and he knows he’s close to waking up, is lingering somewhere in the state between awake and asleep. Teasingly, he traces the lines of the tattoo with his fingers, before flattening his palm in the middle of the other man’s chest. Kaoru is shifting now, a sleepy sigh spilling from his lips.

Aiji leans closer, brushing his lips against the other man’s ear, his voice only a low, hot whisper against sensitive skin. “I could get used to this, you know.” His voice is low, rough by the lack of use, and yet there’s this certain softness to it. At least enough to make Kaoru smile. Still sleepy, he shifts a bit on his place, his body seeking the warmth from the closeness. “To what? Waking up at noon?” That is something so typical for him, being fully awake the second something gains his attention, always easily sliding back to the conscious world. One of those grins so typical for him is curving his lips as he tilts his head just a little bit, looking straight at the other man.

The grin is responded to instantly, a low chuckle spills from Aiji’s lips as he nods. “That too. And waking up next to the unshaved, stained, disheveled you.” With every word he moves his fingers, drawing random patterns on the other man’s chest and his indeed stained stomach, before following the trail of fine hairs from his belly down to his groin. The touch makes Kaoru shiver, his eyes sliding shut on their own, and yet one can see how much he enjoys the moment.

“Oh I take that as a compliment.” Kaoru grins, already opening his mouth to go on. The words turn into a low gasp though, followed by a moan that rolls from deep in his throat. Aiji’s hand has found its way to his groin, grasping him almost demandingly. Apparently he’s been having more pleasant dreams than he had even realized. His hips arch up and a low purr follows the initial reaction, pleasant heat flooding his whole being.

Aiji seems content to see the result of his attempts, and Kaoru can feel him grin as he begins to nibble on the side of his neck. “You should. But wait till I show the rest of the compliments I’ve got in store for you.”

“…show?” Kaoru’s voice is confused, his sleep hazed mind unable to piece it all together just yet. Aiji reaches up, connecting their lips in a slow, sensual kiss. Kaoru’s beard tickles him like always, their teeth click together in the lack of proper coordination and not even the morning breath makes them break the contact. With each passing second the kiss turns deeper, hastier, needier. Aiji’s hand is working miracles between Kaoru’s legs until the guitarist is panting, squirming, hot as hell. Thin layer of sweat is beading on his skin as he parts his legs further, his low breaths coming in ragged gasps and he shifts on the sheets that stick to his skin.

“Oh yeah. Show.” It’s spoken as lowly as the words before and yet there’s a silent command laced to it, demand written in the undercurrencies of the simple statement. Or maybe it’s more a wish, careful urging rather than a brash command. Whatever it is, Aiji doesn’t waste a single second before he does exactly what he’s been asked. He slides between the other man’s legs, marveling how they fall so easily open for him, something he had never dared to even dream of. Seconds later his lips close over the guitarist’s cock as he sucks the hardening flesh into his mouth.

It doesn’t take much to make Kaoru react, especially not at a moment like this right after waking up, when his defenses are still down and he is as vulnerable as he gets. It’s almost too easy for Aiji to work one finger inside of him, then two, and although at first Kaoru tenses up a little it only lasts for a second before the hot, wet mouth distracts him enough. Kaoru could swear that Aiji can do miracles with his lips, his mouth, his tongue, gosh his sinful tongue. He only wants more, is burning from the inside and there is no way he can channel the desperate need from within.

Kaoru never begs, he never asks with his words but it doesn’t mean it’s not there. His body does the begging for him, shows how much he needs more and how badly he wants it. His body is open, willing, ready for more and he doesn’t resist when Aiji moves up and kisses him hard. A few heartbeats later he feels that hot, heavy flesh sliding into his body inch by inch, enough to make him feel like all sense and reason leaves him in favor of sheer need.

The first thrust is always like that, slow and intense, but what follows afterwards varies. This time it’s hard, deep and hungry, neither of them able to conceal the desperate craving for more. Kaoru’s legs are bent at the knee, his thighs pressing to Aiji’s hips as the other man fucks him hard, their bodies as close as possible throughout it all. They kiss, incoherent and unfocused, wet and open mouthed. The whole series is imperfect, yet no less passionate, enough to push them both even higher. They have to break apart when Kaoru arches his back, an intense flash of heat shooting through his whole being. Aiji scrapes his teeth down his throat, nibbling on the jugular, and he feels that he can really taste what is essentially Kaoru. He can feel his pulse.

Aiji’s hand is between them, his fingers around Kaoru’s shaft, able thumb teasing the sensitive tip. Kaoru jerks each time. He grunts, he gasps, he moans and he isn’t in control of himself any longer. This is the best reward Aiji could imagine, this tops everything. There is no other thing that would make him go boneless with need as easily as the other man’s voice, low and sexy, along with the clear signs of arousal on his flushed face and his trembling body. He can’t hold back, he breathes out obscenities, names all the things he wants to do to that gorgeous being he can possess even if only momentarily. And he means every single word he says.

Their movements get more frantic, more irregular, more desperate as they move against each other. Neither of them knows who gets thrown over the edge first, as the other follows seconds after and it feels that the blaze is engulfing them both. Greedily, they ride out their orgasm, sharing the sensations as well as a sloppy, imperfect kiss.

Afterwards Aiji pulls away, collapses on the side. He can hardly breathe, it feels that he used the last remains of his strength, all he had left in his sleepy limbs. When he rolls back close, wraps an arm around Kaoru, the other man doesn’t resist with even a single gesture. He smiles. Smiles and turns his head, presses a kiss on top of Aiji’s head.

“Good morning.”

-------

Author’s notes; So, did anyone make it this far? :D If yes, I have a question for you! How does Aiji look like? XD Let me first tell you what we know of him.
Aiji appears first in this long, neverending Die/Toshiya story that me and seinen_no are working on. He is actually Die’s ex, from years back and now the two are just close friends (yes, they made it work!). He owns a sex-shop that sells everything from adult toys to kinky costumes and he loves his job ;) And although he knew Kaoru was technically straight he went after him, and somehow things developed from there.
Of Aiji’s looks, we didn’t specify much. He’s a bit taller than Kaoru, slim built but not completely lacking muscles. He loves tattoos, and he has both his arms tattooed as well as a huge Chinese style dragon on his back. All we said was that he looks masculine, basically.
So, how did you picture him? Did he remind you of someone? Or would you happen to have some pictures of random guys that could look like him? We’re a bit at loss here, so we’d really appreciate all possible help! :D Thank you!

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 15:02:30 GMT

Learn to Love

2009

Die had never been a patient man. When he wanted something, he wanted it instantly and waiting for it wasn’t exactly a virtue he’d possess. Yet, when it came to things that were immensely important for him, he found himself possessing some magical patience he hadn’t even known he had. He didn’t know where it came from, didn’t know how he managed to do it but it was there, and had surfaced several times without him even noticing it.

When he had realized that he was actually harbouring some romantic feelings towards his best friend and bandmate, he found that patience suddenly striking him again. A part of him wanted to go and shout out his love from the rooftops, and while he knew that it was a silly thing to do it was seriously hard for him to hold back and not to do it. Yet he didn’t want to scare the other man away, he didn’t want to screw this up and ruin everything by being too straightforward and too demanding. How did he know if Toshiya even would mirror the feelings, in the end? He thought he had seen the signs in the air, but it could still be he was mistaken and seeing things he only wished to be there.

So he didn’t want to act hastily, didn’t push the topic and waited for things to proceed at their natural pace. The perfect opportunity was presented to him sooner than he had even dared to hope for. It was Shinya’s birthday party and they had all gathered in a club they used to go in frequently since no one usually recognized or approached them there. For the beginning of the evening they had been dancing, more or less, and watching Shinya get all sweet and mushy with his fiancée the more drunk he got. Somewhere along the time people began to disappear though, some dancing and some trying to find some interesting company for the night. At least Kaoru was already hitting on a girl with big boobs and a skirt that looked more like a wide belt, and was obviously going to score that night.

What Die was more focused on, was the fact that it left him and Toshiya alone at the table. Toshiya had turned to real hunk of a man, muscles and sheer confidence practically radiating from him, and at that moment it struck Die like a knife in his guts. He wanted the other man, so badly that it hurt and he didn’t only want to have a hot night filled with screwing like bunnies with him but he wanted him for real. For himself. He was fully aware that it might not work out but he couldn’t give a damn about it, he was willing to try. They were adults, after all, if it didn’t work out they could always deal with it, right?

So when the magical moment happened and time seemed to stand still, he didn’t even try to dodge. Toshiya leaned closer to him, their lips brushing against each other softly in a chaste kiss that promised so much more already. The next second they snapped, at the same time and moved to deepen the kiss, so much it almost hurt. Die practically bit Toshiya’s lower lip as he was yanked closer, the bassist’s fingers tangling in the chocolate brown hair. All Die could think of was how his head was spinning, how good Toshiya tasted, how his knees went weak and how it felt so amazing to be finally kissing him, how it was so good to feel the strong chest against his own and how he wanted more, more.

The kiss turned into two kisses, three, four, a whole set of passionate and massive face-sucking. Eventually Die found himself practically lying half on the table, with the other man pinning him down on it as the kiss grew even rougher, more demanding. Finally, somehow in their alcohol induced minds they realized they might need to slow things down and pulled apart, both focusing on filling their lungs with the very much needed air for the time being.

It was Die who broke the silence first, bringing his hand up to the bassist’s cheek. “Shit, Tosh… this feels so weird.” He snickered, his laughter joined by the other man. “I know. But I needed it.” That was the easy explanation and Die settled for it, gladly, as he heard Toshiya voice it out. It was a good start at least, since now they had established that they both indeed did want it. He looked up, into Toshiya’s deep eyes and somehow that gave him the final courage to go on with the statement.

“You know, Tosh,” his voice was low and husky, and he was absolutely certain that he saw the same feelings mirrored in the younger man’s eyes that he was harbouring inside of him. He took the final deep breath, before venturing out to say the words he had never voice before while meaning them so much. “I think I’m in love with you.”

He had prepared for several different reactions, but nothing had come even close to the look of sheer terror he now saw in Toshiya’s eyes. He could feel the younger man tense, saw the panicked look he gave him before abruptly yanking himself away. He practically ran, fled the scenery without looking back, without a single word of explanation.

Die was frozen. He just sat there and watched his best friend run away.

It only took a few moments for Die to startle from the lethargic state and actually go after the other man. He used a few minutes to mentally beat himself up for bringing it up so fast, but swiftly went over to disbelief and even anger. What kind of reaction had that been, damnit!? One didn’t just run away like that, not after a love confession and especially if it came from his best friend. What made him confused the most was that he was still certain he had seen it in Toshiya’s eyes, had seen the same feelings deep within there and couldn’t believe he’d been just imagining things.

He went to look for Toshiya, and the first guess to find him at his apartment had been the correct one. Miraculously, Toshiya even opened the door when Die rang the bell demandingly, looking as startled and dishevelled as he had looked just before running away. He tried to slam the door shut in front of Die, again, but the guitarist held him back and practically forced his way into the apartment. “Stop it, Tosh! You will now talk to me. C’mon, you can tell me you hate me if you want, just fucking talk! Don’t do this to me.” He wanted an explanation, and he bloody well would get one.

With a huge sigh, Toshiya closed the door after the other man, following him into the living room. There, he just stood in the middle of the floor, not saying a single word. He looked somehow out of it, like he wasn’t really present in the moment and that was enough to make Die almost panic. He didn’t let it show though, but instead turned around to face the other man as he spoke up. “So. Talk to me. C’mon Toshiya.” He put as much encouragement in his voice as he could, trying to urge the other man to say something, anything.

The silence was deafening. It seemed to drag on forever but Die was determined not to say anything, not before the other man would say something in between. Yet he was already on the verge of giving up, almost repeated what he had said before when a silent voice sounded through the air. “You… you meant what you said?” Toshiya spoke so lowly it was almost impossible to hear, and he didn’t even dare to look up at the guitarist and instead pretended to be immensely interested in the pattern of his carpet.

“Meant?” The words made Die angry, as tentatively as they were spoken. Didn’t the bassist know him better than that? He had a fiery temper, and he couldn’t hold back before it exploded. “Of course I meant what I said! I don’t fucking go around confessing my eternal love to my best friends just to get a kick out of it! I’ve been thinking of it for longer and I know what I’m saying. Tosh,” he forced himself to take a deep breath, to calm down and to sound more controlled. When he went on he looked straight at the other man, nothing but honesty in his whole posture. “I really do love you. Whether you want it or not.”

The next thing he knew was that there was a single tear glimmering on Toshiya’s cheek and that made him panic. He hadn’t wanted that! He didn’t want to make the other man cry for god’s sake, he had only wanted a bit more of those kisses and maybe something more and certainly not a scene like this. Toshiya sank down on the couch, sitting on the edge like a picture of sheer misery. “It’s not that I don’t want it…” His voice was still silent, and he stubbornly refused to look up to Die while speaking.

The anger was gone, replaced by worry and instinctively Die sat down on the couch as well, right beside his friend. When he spoke up, there was only a slight hint of the annoyance from before, as he gently urged the other to go on with his words. “Then what is it?” He wanted to get to the bottom of this, really sort it out now that they were knee-deep in the mess anyways.

Toshiya stuttered, running his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture. One could see he was both drunk and really shaken up by all this, the tears still not far away. Finally, he managed to get the words out, trying to explain everything shortly. “I… it’s dangerous to love me.” It was the best he could offer, now at least.

“Dangerous?” Die sounded completely disbelieving, even a hint of the previous anger reflecting from the tone of his voice as he had no idea where this was now coming from. He tried his best to calm down though, knowing that it wouldn’t do any good if they both would be totally shaken and crying and yelling. He would better to be calm, the best he could. “C’mon Tosh, what the fuck are you blathering? You’re not making any sense. How could it be any more dangerous to love you than to anyone else in the wo –”

“Kazuya.” The one single word, the name, was spoken much more firmly than the words from before.

Die was startled, not understanding what was going on. “Huh? What about him?”

“He shot himself. A-and he said he loved me.”

“C’mon, one psycho goes and offs himself and you –” At that point Die was done with anger, done with frustration and just wanted to make the other man feel better. He placed his palm on the bassist’s shoulder, trying to talk in a calming voice, the best he could.

That was the point when Toshiya burst out, practically yelling as he interrupted the other man harshly. “Can’t you see it!? He killed himself because he loved me! I - I can’t!” He was drunk and shaking, and when Die instinctively pulled him close he didn’t even try to resist, only clutched him helplessly. His long fingers curled in the white cotton of the shirt, his tears making the fabric damp on Die’s shoulder. “I don’t want anything to happen to you, I can’t have anything happen to you. I can’t.”

Die just wrapped his arms around Toshiya’s form, hugging him tight. It was comforting, how easily the bassist fell into the warm embrace, how they were like made for holding each other like this. Gently, Die pressed a kiss on the soft puff of his friend’s hair, his voice soft but firm. “I’m not going anywhere.” He was shocked, no question about that, but he knew now wasn’t the time to talk it through. Not when the bassist was trembling like this, crying miserably against his shoulder like he hadn’t done in years.

It took long until Toshiya finally started to calm down, his frantic crying subsiding and his hysterical shaking easing up. Throughout the whole time, Die was there, holding the other man close, stroking his back, whispering reassuring words into his ear.

Somewhere in the dead of night Die managed to manoeuvre them both into Toshiya’s wide bed. Nothing fishy, he definitely had no intentions in taking advantage of his friend when he was in a state like that, but he simply knew they both needed some sleep. They needed to sleep off the drunkenness, the hysteria and the desperation of the moment. In the morning, things would look much different. Die just dragged them both in the bed, under the blanket although they were still fully dressed and he didn’t stop for longer than to kick off his shoes.

Die didn’t get much sleep in the end, he was dozing off a bit in between while holding the other man close and watching over his sleep instead. Toshiya was like passed out, the emotional uproar of the day making him sleep like a stone without even dreaming anything. Die simply kept on holding him, stroking his back slowly while listening to his steady breathing. He didn’t dare to allow himself to think, to hope, since he had no idea how things would now turn out.

It was already close to noon when Toshiya stirred finally, blinking sleepily to open his eyes. He seemed to startle when he saw Die there, but it took him exactly ten seconds to relax into the embrace again. He placed his head on Die’s shoulder, focusing on the steady beat of his heart for a while. It didn’t even startle him when the guitarist finally spoke up, his voice resonating in the otherwise still air in the room. “Good morning.”

The words made Toshiya smile, and instinctively he brought one arm around Die’s waist to hug him back when he replied. “Good morning.” It meant a lot to him to notice he wasn’t alone, that the other man was still there and didn’t seem to have any intention in leaving again. “You know,” he spoke up after a while, and from the way Die tensed a little bit he could tell he was listening. “If you still mean what you said, last night… I do, too. I mean, love you.”

That was more than enough if one asked Die and he showed it by hugging the other man a bit tighter against himself. “I do.” He admitted lowly, and somehow the words, as simple as they were, calmed him down a lot, made him believe things would work out. “I meant every bit I said then.” Toshiya only nodded at that, not replying anything with words. Silence fell upon them, a comfortable one this time as they focused on holding each other.

Toshiya was toying with the other man’s shirt, tugging on the fabric of it absent-mindedly. Suddenly he had to chuckle though, and one could hear the emotionality in his voice, the fact that tears weren’t far away even now. “Just look at me. I’m such a puff of a man and tried to grow muscle to turn myself to a total hunk, and still I cry like a girl…” There was clear amusement laced in his tone as well, showing that he still saw the humour in the situation.

So typical for him, Die couldn’t help but to think, and the words made him laugh lowly. “Don’t worry. I always knew you were girly.” He teased in return, as somehow falling back to the familiar banter was so easy. They had always mocked each other like this, lovingly of course.

That elicited a snort from the bassist, who even took the effort to tilt his head so he could look at the older man straight. “Now look who’s talking, mister ‘I use strawberry scented shampoo’!” He shot back his best comeuppance for the time being.

“But hey, it smells good!” Die defended himself, unable to hold back the laughter this time.

Suddenly, Toshiya moved and buried his nose into the other man’s hair, inhaling his scent deeply. His voice was dreamy when he spoke, hardly even audible and somehow the tone of it made Die’s heart skip a beat, his world stop turning for a second. “You’re right, it does.” Toshiya almost only whispered, going on after a second in a voice even lower. “But you smell even better.”

It made Die smile, and when Toshiya pulled back he looked him straight in the eye. “Does this mean that we can stop thinking about dying?” He tried tentatively, something careful in his voice as he wasn’t sure how to address the topic really. He knew they should talk about it still, and that they would, but not right now. Now they would just need to get back on track, calm down and maybe, just maybe they could try to begin building something from this. The talk could wait a few days. There would be a lot to sort through anyways, and although he knew it wouldn’t be an easy task somehow he was willing to take it upon himself anyway. “I’m not going anywhere, y’know.” He felt the need to add, still.

Toshiya smiled, softly, and there was clear affection in the touch when he brought up his hand, brushing his fingers over the older man’s cheek. “Yeah. I suppose we can.” He nodded a bit, the look in his eyes completely honest.

“Good.” Die smiled. He was practically shining, his eyes sparkling happily like he was a kid in the candy store. He couldn’t even hold back a low chuckle as he took the other man’s head between his palms, pressing their foreheads together. “Now shut up and kiss me.”

When their lips met they both had the feeling that things would turn out alright in the end. Things would work out, after all. As long as they’d stick together.

Previous Part

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 15:01:51 GMT

Learn to Love

2007

Every time they ended a longer tour, they all headed to their own directions for a few days, not even trying to contact each other. It was like a wordless agreement, something that kept them sane and still friends after such a long time. A short break was simply needed every once in a while. Only that when it came to Die and Toshiya, the break was usually hardly a full day before one of them either called or texted the other. That was exactly the reason why Die was beginning to be worried when he hadn’t heard anything of the bassist for three days. He had tried to call, too, but the other man didn’t pick up the phone and didn’t answer to any messages either.

That was when Die decided to go over for a visit. On his way he grabbed some takeout as he headed to the bassist’s apartment. At least Toshiya’s car was parked neatly on its usual spot, which meant that he was probably home. Why he didn’t return any of his calls, that didn’t explain naturally, but Die was determined to find out the reasons to that. He wouldn’t be leaving without a proper explanation, that he had decided. To his relief, shortly after he rang the doorbell there already were steps to be heard, the door creaking open not too long afterwards.

“Morning Tosh,” he greeted his friend with a smile, while scanning his appearance for signs of what was going on. He had a big brown bag in his hand and he raised it, presenting it to the younger man. “I brought food! Mexican. May I come in?” The mention of food at least earned a smile from Toshiya, so the man couldn’t be too far gone. He looked a bit messy, and the dark circles around his eyes definitely showed he hadn’t been sleeping much at all. Yet a smile was always a good sign, and it was a genuine gesture when he let Die in.

They ended up on the bassist’s couch, sitting in front of the TV without even turning it on. They just attended their food – Die had known exactly what to pick for both of them – like they hadn’t seen any for days. For all Die knew maybe Toshiya hadn’t. He hadn’t been answering his phone for nearly a week at least, who knew if he had eaten meanwhile. Or slept, judging by how he looked. Several attempts of light banter died on their own, after just a few casually spoken words. Toshiya was somehow like half asleep, a bit out of it, and it didn’t seem he was fully at his senses.

That was when Die couldn’t take it any longer. He had to do something, right? “C’mon Tosh. What’s wrong?” He prompted gently, placing his palm on the other man’s knee. Absent-mindedly he was stroking his thigh through the fabric of his pants, while looking straight at him with a hint of worry in his eyes. The younger man sighed, trying to avoid the eye-contact and turned his head away at first. He was obviously too tired to fight it though, his self defences crumbling. It only took a “Talk to me. I’m here.” from Die and he gained a nod as an agreement.

“Thirteen years ago today,” Toshiya began, closing his eyes while he spoke. Otherwise it would’ve looked as if he was going back to some pleasant memory but there was a steep wrinkle between his eyes, something coming either from focusing so hard or suppressing something unpleasant. Die didn’t say anything though, just sat there, listening. “My friend killed himself. It was just a normal morning – a Wednesday – and I was waiting for him to come to school. He came, alright, and he had a gun. And right there on the schoolyard he told me he loved me. And blew his brains out.”

It was almost frightening how casually he told about the event, and Die wasn’t sure which shocked him more. He had heard the other man once talk about a friend who had killed himself but he had had no idea that he had actually seen it. Been there. Now the way Toshiya spoke, it was like he was remembering someone else’s life, instead of his own. Die didn’t know what to do, but he automatically reached out his hand, his fingertips brushing over Toshiya’s shoulder. He already opened his mouth to say something, when he was cut off by Toshiya again. The bassist’s eyes snapped wide open, his gaze so intense it made Die freeze on the spot.

“But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is you.” Again, he cut Die off, which wasn’t that hard of a task anyways as the guitarist was so shaken to begin with. “I have this dream, this nightmare, for years now. For ten friggin’ years, ever since you got your hair dyed red and it was like, right after we met…” This time it was Toshiya who reached out his hand, carefully taking a red strand of hair between his fingers, his eyes directed to his doings as he toyed with it. “The beginning is always different, but always happy. We’re out drinking, or here eating takeout, or at Shinya’s place celebrating his engagement or in this restaurant Kaoru took us before the first US tour. You’re sitting beside me, and you’re smiling. You smile and I reach out for your hair, touch it, and suddenly it’s not hair.”

Toshiya’s voice was still calm and silent but suddenly he let go of Die’s hair again, startling backwards as if it was poisoned, a look of terror in his eyes. “It’s blood. It’s blood and it’s everywhere and your smile is dying on your lips when you fall down in front of me. I try to help you but the blood just keeps on coming and I know that it’s the end, that there’s noting I can do, nothing anyone can do. Every fucking night I lose you in my sleep. And I can’t do it anymore. I can’t watch you dying. I can’t.”

To Die, it felt as if he was trapped in a nightmare right now. He was scared, scared of his friend and scared for his friend. Toshiya was acting like in a haze, like he was somehow drugged and still he knew there was nothing but the lack of sleep that made him act like this. So calm, so collected and at the same time acutely suppressing panic.

Toshiya was almost completely still when Die pulled him close, hugged him against himself and held him tight. After a second, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around the guitarist though, returning the embrace. They were practically clinging on to each other, and neither of them knew who needed the embrace more. That night, Die didn’t go anywhere.

And the next day Die dyed his hair. No more red. Never again.

Previous Part | Next Part

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 15:01:08 GMT

Learn to Love

2004

For years Toshiya had thought that it was just a minor crush he was harbouring for his friend. C’mon, it was natural to feel all light-headed and giddy with your best friend, right? There was nothing odd in seeking his company whenever he felt down, or trying to spend as much of his free time with him as possible. Right? Especially when it seemed that the other man was always a willing victim, never tried to wriggle away when Toshiya suggested hanging out together. Die was the only one of his friends who never tried to dodge the overly affectionate hugs, too. It had to be a sign that they were best friends, right?

Still, with time, it became painfully obvious to Toshiya just how much he was in love. He definitely knew how friendships worked like, remembered still being best friends with Kazuya and how things had rolled. There was something distinctively different in how he acted with Die, how they both were around each other. Realizing that you’re in love should be a good thing, in general. Yet, to Toshiya, realizing that was the moment when he relapsed again.

“I love you, Toshiya.”

The words were ringing in his ears when he was lying in his bed under the blankets, staring into the darkness. His eyes were wide open and in the darkness he could see images, flashes of the past he had tried to suppress for so long. Partly, he had succeeded. But now the images were back, the blood the desperation the fear and the pain… All of it was crushing down on him. And there was no one to talk to. He certainly couldn’t go to Die with this, not like he did every time he had something he needed to talk through. Not when it was Die that had triggered it in the first place.

He was scared. He had never really been in love, not unless one counted out these silly crushes he knew hadn’t been the real deal anyways. And the only person, besides his family, who had ever said he loved him, had ended up with his brains scattered on the pavement in a pool of blood. Actually, now that he thought of it, everyone who had ever loved him seemed to have ended up somewhere bad. His father had walked out on his mother, who had raised him and his little brother on her own. She had battled both cancer and some mental disorder Toshiya had never really learned to name. But he remembered when he had been trying to sleep at nights, listening to his mother crying in the next room and watching over his brother, hoping he wouldn’t wake up to it. He hadn’t even seen his brother in years now, not after he joined the band. Except for occasional phone-calls they didn’t have much contact. They had both moved on, and reminded each other too much of the past they wanted to forget.

Was loving him really that big of a deal? Loving him always ended up hurting the people who did. He was scared it would happen again, was afraid that it would drag Die down too. He couldn’t let it happen, now could he? If he loved him, he would keep him safe. He wouldn’t let Die fall in love with him in turn. He wouldn’t.

As determined as he was to stick to that, there wasn’t really anything he could do to it.

Previous Part | Next Part

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 15:00:27 GMT

Learn to Love

1997

Years after that, Toshiya liked to think that it was music that saved him. Sure he had gone to several psychiatric sessions, his overly worried mother forcing him to take part in every possible support group and process the happenings with several different professionals. Yet it was music that had had the biggest impact on him, that had made him finally move on and get over the constant nightmares. It had started out as the typical teenaged rebellion, channelling one’s depression into weird sub-genres of black metal and suicidal lyrics. With time it began to change though. He found that simply playing his bass was soothing already, it didn’t need to be anything extreme or anything utterly depressing. Living through the music was more than enough.

Still, on some level the fascination for the world he had taken a dive into remained, maybe that was one reason why he felt so strongly about joining this one band that came up to him, offering him a position as their bassist. The music was plain rock, even kind of bouncy and happy in its own way, and yet the lyrics were set on such macabre themes that it created a clear contrast with it. Growling vocals changed to high tones, extreme aggressive melodies changed to basic rock, corpse paint changed to visual make up. Yet one thing remained, and it was living through the music.

Toshiya was learning to live again. But behind his smile, he was still crying. His whole life was one big contrast, happiness entwined with sadness, the future mixing with the past. Joining the band was one big step in his life that changed it. Even a bigger step was meeting his new bandmates though. He had never before felt more like he belonged somewhere, was a part of a group so strongly. The people around him, they were so artistic and weird and at the same time so comfortingly normal that Toshiya was beginning to feel more at ease. Maybe he wasn’t all that strange after all. At least he had found his family. A father figure to look up to, a little brother to look after, a perfect buddy to goof off with. Everything in the same small bunch of people.

Yet he noticed that he was rapidly growing closer to especially one of them. It had been the easy smile and the deep big eyes that had first made him like Die, instantly when he had reached out his hand and introduced himself with a simple “Hi, my name is Die!” They were both so similar and yet so different, it was bound to lead to something. At first, Toshiya was convinced he had found a new best friend. That was something he hadn’t had in ages. Not after… yes, not after Kazuya. And that was what it was, new best friends.

Until it became more. It was so easy to like Die. So easy to trust him and so easy to open up to him.

So easy to fall in love with him.

Previous Part | Next Part

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 14:59:41 GMT

Title: Learn to Love
Author: fonulyn
Rating: R for violence
Pairing: Toshiya/Die
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Mental scars are the deepest ones, most difficult to ever overcome. Unfortunately, usually just sweeping them under a rug isn't an option.
WARNING: Contains character death (it's an OC though).
Comments:
fonulyn: Oh-kays I don't know if this is anything like I wanted it to be, but it didn't leave me alone before I wrote it so I resigned to my fate anyways. A couple of the scenes come actually from these pretty vivid dreams I had, and they kept on returning so I only got rid of them by writing this x) And it's uncharacteristically angsty for me! But I don't think it's that full of angst anyways, it does have a sorta positive vibe to it in the end at least. So yeah. I hope you enjoy! And do tell me what you think :)

Learn to Love

1994

It was a cloudy Wednesday morning, just like any Wednesday morning during the school year. Toshiya was standing beside the fence, waiting for his best friend and classmate, like he had been doing every single morning for the past months. It was getting slightly windy though, and instinctively he tucked up the collar of his jacket, sheltering his eyes against the sun to see the huge clock on the wall of the building.

09:13

His friend should be here soon. The class would start in a couple of minutes and Kazuya couldn’t afford to be late. It was history, too, and they both had to finish their essays to even pass. Toshiya knew they were both in troubles, but it wasn’t the first time and certainly wouldn’t be the last so he didn’t really pay any attention to it. He was rather thinking of the party that would take place on Friday, the big party that everyone had been talking about for weeks.

With a huge sigh, he bent forward to see around the corner. Maybe his friend was already coming? He’d better be, or they would be seriously in troubles. If that was the case he would even dare to smoke a cigarette, he would have to spend his afternoon in detention anyways. What kind of punishment was that anyways, no seventeen-year-old would even bother…

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted as someone came rushing around the corner, the familiar figure of his friend stopping abruptly right in front of him. “Kaz! What the heck took you so long? C’mon, we’re totally screwed, we -” Toshiya grabbed his friend’s sleeve to pull him along, the bell already signalling the start of the lesson. Yet Kazuya didn’t even move, not an inch, like he was rooted on the spot.

That already made Toshiya suspicious and he stopped, turning around to face his friend again. “What’s wrong?” He asked, a hint of honest worry in his voice although the main feeling was plain annoyance. They were late, and they both knew it, there was no time for playing around. Yet there was something in Kazuya’s posture that radiated seriousness, that made him seem much more stern and almost scary.

He still took a moment, before he began speaking. “Toshiya… I’ve been thinking of this for long. I want you to know, I’m fully aware of what I’m doing. It is the only way.” There was something fully convinced in his voice, something Toshiya couldn’t quite place. Yet he stayed silent, just listened while his friend trailed on.

“I want you to understand why I’m doing this.”

Toshiya raised his eyebrow, suspiciously. Kazuya had been acting weird lately, talking in riddles and saying cryptic things. Yet this was weird even considering that. “Doing what? What are you trying to say?” He finally prompted, not having the patience for the other’s games. He still remembered that history essay, his thoughts already on Friday’s party, wondering how many of his friends would be there. Suddenly, he saw a flash, sunlight reflecting from something metallic.

A gun.

Kazuya raised the weapon slightly, allowing it to slip away from his sleeve. It had been easy to hide it in the loose sleeves, no one questioning the shy and reserved student about it. No one had probably even paid any attention to him. Everything seemed to fall silent and Toshiya just stared, from wide eyes, unable to even piece this all together. It felt that his heart stopped beating, the whole world freezing around them.

“I want you to understand.” Kazuya repeated persistently, his eyes gleaming almost feverishly. He was smiling, oddly calm and Toshiya could only stare at those smiling lips, unable to get over it. The smile. “You are the reason. I want you to follow me.” The words were soft, urging, filled with a twisted gentleness that made cold shivers run down one’s spine.

“I love you, Toshiya.”

A loud bang echoed in the air and instinctively Toshiya covered his ears, sheltering his head. At first he thought he’d been shot. Why didn’t he feel any pain? He didn’t hear the distant yelling, the screaming and the running steps getting closer and closer. Everything was like wrapped in cotton batting. Yet he could’ve sworn he heard the thud when Kazuya’s body hit the ground, right at his feet.

Instinctively he fell down on his knees, reaching out for the other teenager. Where once had been dark brown, messy hair was now only another kind of mess, red blood seeping through from between his fingers when he tried to put it all together, desperately bringing his palms where once had been the back of his friend’s head. Everything happened like in a haze. Before he even realized the sirens were there, people swarming around him, gently pulling him back as they took the older boy away.

There was Kazuya’s blood on his hands, on his shirt, everywhere. His mind numb, he watched the ambulance leave. He was shaking.

Next Part

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 10:42:19 GMT

Title: To Kiss A Man.
Author: fonulyn
Rating: PG
Pairing: Toshiya/Die (actually has some teeny-weeny hints of Die/Kaoru, Die/Kyo and Die/Shinya too)
Theme: 025: Just one more kiss (for 50stories)
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Sometimes, it’s the simplest things that you never dare to try. Things you wonder, things you can’t get off your mind. And for years, Die has wondered. How would it be to kiss a man?
Comments:
fonulyn: Happy new year to everyone! ;) Wanted to start the year with a fic, and what would be more appropriate than to start it also with a new challenge? XD I’m so going to kill myself trying to finish all 50 of the stories for this claim (especially since I’m still lacking a dozen for the D/K claim) but it’s something I wanted to try. Needed to try. C’mon the pair needs more love anyways! …and now I’m rambling. I hope you enjoy this ficlet, and you have my promise that there is plenty of more to come ;) Let’s make this a happy new year, shall we? ♥

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Plus, the archive.

To Kiss A Man.

It was a wonder that Die had never questioned his sexuality even when he had been a part of the visual scene for a few years. Make-up, girly clothes and long hair, it was just natural and a part of the whole idea. Of course it didn’t make him gay, that was just ridiculous. Something like that couldn’t define who you were, what you felt inside. Yet, he was surrounded by very attractive men, trying to be as feminine as they possibly could and yet not even once he felt drawn to them.

Not before he met Shinya, that was.

It was the classical scenario of a guy meets a girl. Except that the girl he met was actually a guy. So probably he should phrase it differently; it was the classical scenario of a guy meets a guy dressed up as a girl and looking feminine enough to fool anyone. Die had honestly been fooled by the feminine grace the slender drummer possessed, hadn’t been able to look past the long hair and big clear eyes. He had developed a crush on Shinya, instantly when seeing him for the first time, and he had no troubles admitting it.

Only that the crush had ended as fast as it had begun when the drummer had spoken up and shattered the feminine image with his much too manly voice. Still, that had been the first time that had made Die wonder. Had made him wonder how it would feel to kiss a man.

---

Being surrounded by heaps of attractive girly-dressing men in the visual scene was one thing, but being surrounded by four members of the same band, who were all ridiculously good looking, was even worse. Most of the time Die didn’t have the time to dwell on that though, he didn’t have the needed energy to drool after his bandmates while he had to take care of his own appearance as well. It was a war. A war of good looks and everyone was trying to surpass the other in who looked best.

They all had their own directions to head to. Toshiya and Shinya were the girly girls, for example, the perfect ladies who could fool any man with their looks. It happened more than once that they scored invitations from horny men, who only later on realized that the target of their attempts was lacking something on the chest-department and had something too much between the legs. Kyo had his own look, as always, no one knew what the heck he was up to.

Then there was Kaoru, who had practically perfected the androgynous look, neither manly nor feminine. Whether his hair was pink or purple it was shimmering in contrast with black leather and belts he was wearing, underlining the sharp features the man had. He was enchanting, to say the least, his features like carved from stone into such delicate arrangement. That was what drew Die’s attention first. It started out as envy. He wanted an aristocratic nose like that too. He wanted cheekbones like that too. He wanted that.

The next thing the envy led was admiration. Die idolized Kaoru, looked up to him, wanted to be like him. Not as much as Toshiya did, most likely, and on different grounds but still the point remains valid.

And in the middle of the night, when Die was lying awake in his bed and staring at the ceiling, he wondered just how it would be to touch those elegantly curved lips. How it would be to kiss Kaoru.

How it would feel, to kiss a man.

---

It was a common thing to have them all gathered together, usually in Shinya’s apartment since the drummer was after all neat and had a big living room for all of them to spend time in. Sometimes they were only hanging around, enjoying moments of actually not working. More often than not, there was alcohol involved too though, drinking always leading to silly games they all avoided when sober.

This was no exception. It was a new year’s party, or that was what they called it. Actually it was already the January 2nd and they had used it just as an excuse to get together and destroy the last bottles of liquor they had gotten for Christmas. They had started out by chatting and drinking and at some point of the evening they had ended up with random drinking games. Finally, someone had suggested they play truth or dare, which miraculously had been accepted.

A few rounds into the game, Kyo had chosen dare and instantly Shinya dared him to kiss Die, full on. It was probably meant to be a punishment for the guitarist for yet another merciless prank he had pulled off on the drummer’s expense, although right now Die couldn’t really focus his drunken mind enough to figure out what exactly it could be. Still, the fact remained that Kyo was supposed to kiss him, and the realization only struck him when he could feel the vocalist’s lush lips almost touch his own, felt the hot breath so close.

Die was completely frozen. He couldn’t move, couldn’t act on it, couldn’t do anything at all. He felt the warm lips press against his own, move tentatively and then… nothing. Kyo pulled back abruptly, before the kiss had had the chance to evolve to a real one. He was laughing though, his eyes sparkling and his gaze slightly unfocused. “Sorry man.” He waved aside, shaking his head. “I can’t, just can’t. Nothing personal!”

They all laughed, Die laughed, the game went on and the drinking resumed its usual pace. Yet, there was something in the back of Die’s mind that he couldn’t shake off. He wondered. How it would feel, to really kiss Kyo. To kiss a man.

---

There was some irony in the fact that Die had survived years and years of the visual scene and the moment they drifted away from it he figured he was interested in men. The girly men in dresses had done nothing to him, except for fooled him to think those were some pretty flat-chested girls. Yet now that he was surrounded by sweaty, masculine men, he noticed he was beginning to rapidly fall for the charm. He was attracted to them, whether he wanted it or not.

Surprisingly, he didn’t need to go through any difficult transitions or major self-doubts because of that. Somehow it just clicked, the realization got stuck in his mind and didn’t let go. Maybe it was easier because there was a certain target for his attention. Of all the men in the world, he had again managed to single out one of his bandmates. Yes, again. This time it was Toshiya.

Inwardly, it made him laugh. He had needed to go through all his bandmates in his mind to get to this. He had wondered the same about each and every one of them. Yet, it had been the last one to catch his attention who managed to hold it till the end. It was like he had been looking, but hadn’t really managed to see what was right before him. He felt that his eyes had opened and instead of looking, he now was really looking. And what he saw, left him breathless.

There was something so incredibly attractive in the way Toshiya simply was, how he filled the air around him. He was practically dancing on stage, dripping wet with sweat by the end of the second song. He had a broad chest, firm muscles and abdomen to drool after. His fingers were long and Die couldn’t stop imagining how good those warm palms must feel on bare skin.

Toshiya was the first man he wanted to kiss. Not a girl, not a man in a girly disguise. A man.

Suddenly, there was something distinctively different in the casual way Toshiya used to hug him. There was certain tension in it, clearly sexual undercurrents and it became painfully obvious to Die that he hadn’t been as subtle in his admiration as he had hoped to be. Toshiya knew. It caused a flash of panic, shooting through Die’s consciousness until he realized something else. It wasn’t one-sided. Toshiya didn’t only reflect his admiration back at him, but he honestly responded to it.

That was the best thing that had ever happened to him. At least Die was convinced of it. Everything happened fast in the end. Their first kiss was something Die cherished in his mind even years later, remembered it crystal clear. He didn’t remember his real first kiss, could barely place it back at the times he’d been at school. Yet this one, it was like branded into his mind and he still kept on returning to it in his thoughts, even after years of relationship and dozens of kisses, to the sensations it had elicited in him.

Sometimes, he still wondered how it would be to kiss a man. Any man, a random man.

Yet when Toshiya’s lips met his, he knew it couldn’t get any better than that.

---

words 1526

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 17:24:31 GMT

Title: Free
Author: fonulyn
Rating: PG
Pairing: Toshiya/Die
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Sometimes Toshiya thought he had to be either a fool, or too much in love. How else would he end up in some nameless island, searching for an adventure and instead finding himself standing on the beach looking like he was ripped straight from a commercial from the eighties. How in hell had Die ever convinced him of this?
Comments:
fonulyn: I literally have a dozen finished drabbles and stories to post and somehow I never manage to actually do that. One of them is even a REAL fic! C’mon it’s twelve pages which is like a friggin’ novel from me XD Anyways, this is one of the short ficlets and I decided to go for it first :) I quite like the mood and all. Please excuse the sucky title XD I hate coming up with titles. But I love the image of Die and Toshiya in Hawaiian shorts. Yes.
Do enjoy ;)

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free.

Sometimes Toshiya thought he had to be either a fool, or too much in love. How else would he end up in some nameless island, searching for an adventure and instead finding himself standing on the beach looking like he was ripped straight from a commercial from the eighties. How in hell had Die ever convinced him of this? Flashes of hot skin on skin, mixing breaths and feverish touches shot through his mind almost instantly when he set the question and with a little shrug he gave in, deciding that this wasn’t so bad after all. After something like his ‘reward-beforehand’, he definitely wasn’t going to complain about anything, not even if he didn’t quite feel himself dressed up like this, standing awkwardly on an almost deserted beach with his hands in his pockets.

Right now, Die was crouching down and Toshiya couldn't help but to think that he looked quite ridiculous in those bright Hawaiian shorts he was wearing, the pants wide enough for at least three Dies to fit inside of them at once. The older man had insisted on 'blending in' though, and while Toshiya had hard times imagining that two Japanese guys in colorful holiday clothing could 'blend in' anywhere, he had laughed and agreed to do just as Die wished. So here they were, alone on a beach, dressed in the brightest colors Toshiya ever remembered them having worn. Even in their visual days, there usually was some kind of classy taste put into the clothes-design, but this was an utter failure. Absent-mindedly he tugged on his bright orange shorts with yellow floral pattern, thinking that he at least looked more fashionable in those and the almost neon green shirt than Die looked in his outfit. The guitarist’s shirt was an almost stylish shade of dark red, but that was where his style completely ended as his wide pants had probably all possible colors in them, the patterns something as unidentifiable and random as an average drawing of some two-year-old.

Die looked happy though, and that was what mattered. He was trying to build something like a sand castle, scraping the wet sand closer to himself and piling it up only to pat down on the building to put it into a some kind of shape. The first wave of water came to destroy his work though and when the building was wiped off the face of earth, Die was simply laughing freely. It was a sign of him being completely relaxed as Toshiya couldn’t even remember when he had last seen the other man play around like a child without thinking that it would make him look totally uncool. This was just how they enjoyed themselves, goofing around and releasing their inner child. Even if it looked like they were mentally deranged and put themselves a few decades back in time, they didn’t care. Laughing, Toshiya approached the unfortunate building site, kicking the remains of the sand castle that now only looked like a wet pile of sand. If it had ever been anything else but a wet pile of sand to begin with, that is.

The next thing Toshiya noticed was that he had been tackled into the cool water, his clothes soaking wet and the salty water trying to even make its way into his airways. He was far too good of a swimmer though, knew exactly what to do in a situation like that even when unprepared and it only took him a twist of his body and he managed to resurface, filling his lungs with air. He was laughing though, not caring in the slightest that his ridiculous outfit would now stick to him like a second skin. His only goal was to aim for revenge and he simply launched himself forward, trying to catch the guitarist. Die was too fast though, laughing as he ran, darting off along the beach. It was hard to run in the sand that was giving in underneath every step, and sticking into Toshiya’s wet skin like glued. Neither of them noticed a middle aged couple, who gave them a long glance in passing by, and quite frankly neither of them would’ve even cared.

Despite the head start Die had gotten, Toshiya had the advantage of being in a better shape and inevitably he reached the other man, grabbing him from behind to simply lift him up. Die was laughing, kicking, struggling and squirming, doing his best to get away from the strong arms that were holding him in a vice-like grip. His resistance was futile since Toshiya simply threw him over his shoulder, holding on to him tight as he determinedly marched towards the cold water. When Die realized where they were heading he changed tactics and instead of trying to fight he went for begging, promising the other man everything, only the sky being the limit, just so that he wouldn’t put his evil plan into action. Nothing worked, nothing was enough to convince Toshiya that he shouldn’t do exactly this. Soon Die’s pleas were drowned out by high-pitched shrieks as they both hit the water, plunging underneath the surface until they were equally wet, equally cold.

When they dragged themselves up from the water and on dry land, hand in hand, they were laughing again. Only a glance needed to be exchanged and they both knew where this would finally end up. Moments later, they were effectively working on getting warm again, their own way. Afterwards, lying tangled in each other and the bed sheets, Die thought that if this is what comes out of a walk along the beach, it’d definitely turn out to be his new favorite hobby. Anything that ended up with him lying in the other man’s arms, their scents mixing while they breathed in the same rhythm, ranked pretty high on his list anyways.

He had a good feeling that the rest of their holiday would turn out simply amazing.

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 22:18:06 GMT

Title: Bottled Ships
Author: fonulyn
Rating: PG
Pairing: Die/Kaoru (Dir en grey)
Theme: 39. Ship
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Of all the possible things, Die had never thought he would see the day when Kaoru had an obsession that had anything to do with ships.
Comments:
fonulyn: Written for my claim over at 50stories. It’s been AGES since I did anything for this challenge! Literally, it’s been years. But I asked if I could take it up again, seeing that I only would miss fifteen fics to reach the fifty (fourteen now after posting this \o/). I am determined to get all fifty of them done, even if it means writing fourteen more short drably ficlets. This one… This one I wrote in Berlin XD Had a family trip there about a month ago. Somehow I forgot to post it always. Anyways, I hope you like it and wish me luck with finishing the challenge! :D

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Bottled Ships

Of all the possible things, Die had never thought he would see the day when Kaoru had an obsession that had anything to do with ships. The man couldn’t swim, for god’s sake, and he started puking the second he set foot on any form of a boat. Still, now the older guitarist had taken up a new hobby: building ships. Not real ships of course, but these small models that just try to look like the real thing as much as possible. As if that wouldn’t have been enough, he had started to build the ships into a bottle. Into a goddamn bottle! Die had always thought that it was just a joke, that there was some sort of trick to getting the small ship inside that bottle. Maybe the bottle would just magically materialize around the ship, who knew?

But no! The ship was actually built into the bottle bit by bit. Piece by piece. At least that was how Kaoru did it. He sat there, hours upon hours, patiently focused on getting that miniature together. At first Die had been even jealous, although he’d rather die than admit it. But seeing how Kaoru directed all his attention to the model and fixing it, made him yearn for some of that attention too. C’mon, he was Kaoru’s boyfriend, damnit! He was entitled to the majority of his attention and free time.

That was when a cunning plan began to form in Die’s mind.

The next time he spotted the older man at his desk, working on yet another ship-in-a-bottle, he took a seat on the big comfortable armchair just a bit further. From there, he had the perfect view at the lead guitarist. Actually, he had to admit that, Kaoru looked quite charming like this: his lips slightly pursed, that thoughtful frown on his lips and the determined set of his jaw. It was a sight one could enjoy for longer! For a while Die forgot he had even had any plan at all, just getting lost in the moment. It didn’t last forever though, and he stirred back to reality. Why not make this a little competition, eh? Die against that ship.

The younger of the guitarists knew damn well just how good he could look as well. He took his book, but although it seemed like he was focused on reading, his mind was completely elsewhere. He knew exactly how to stretch his long limbs, how to lean back to present his lithe form, how to simply look so irresistible that no one could ignore him. Least of all his darling boyfriend.

It all started with a glance, and Kaoru only registered that he had company. The next look was longer though. Like the next after that. He even slowed down his movements, cursing when he dropped the part he was trying to adjust on the model.

And when Kaoru set his work aside, shamelessly staring, Die knew he had won.

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 21:00:09 GMT

Title: Like Usual
Author: fonulyn
Rating: PG-13 (some language)
Pairing: Toshiya/Die
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Die and Toshiya are stuck in the car on their way to the former’s parents for the annual Christmas get-together. There’s something Die has been wanting to address for a while though, and finally he manages to bring the topic up.
Comments:
fonulyn: I was actually in the car with my dad when we visited my grandmother and somehow, from somewhere, the thought popped up into my mind x) It all started from a single sentence, but then it kind of evolved from there. It’s my attempt at light humor, and I don’t know if I’m all that funny so please be gentle with me XD Also, I wanted to wish all the D/T people merry Christmas in form of a ficcie too ;) I hope you like it! And excuse me the typos, I slept less than four hours last night XD

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Like Usual

It was the fifth time Toshiya was invited over to spend the Christmas holidays over at Die’s parents’ place. They had been best friends for ages, so it had been kind of natural at one point for their parents to include them both on the guest list, especially since Toshiya’s parents had the tendency to travel during the holidays instead of hosting huge family get-togethers. So, naturally, Toshiya had been invited over to Die’s childhood home, every time for the past few years. This year was no exception, and he had to admit that when he was sitting in the car, almost there already, he was pretty enthusiastic to see the other man’s family again.

The drive had been long and at one point they had fallen silent, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Suddenly though, Die broke the silence, addressing the younger man. “Toshiya? Now before we’re there, there’s something I wanted to ask you.” He didn’t turn his eyes from the road before Toshiya made a sound to show he was listening, and even then he only glanced shortly at the other man before going on. “Please, try not to embarrass me in front of my parents like usual.”

That made Toshiya frown, purse his delicate lips and raise one eyebrow questioningly. Somehow he managed to look both completely disapproving and extremely adorable, the expression already making a small smile appear on Die’s lips in return. The bassist’s voice was hurt when he spoke, at least hurt in a theatrically pretended way. “Like usual? C’mon, what have I done?” He tried to appear as innocent as humanly possible, blinking at the other man from huge Bambi-eyes. Those never failed him, although in his case the huge Bambi-eyes weren’t all that huge in all honesty.

“Like usual!” Die repeated stubbornly, managing to keep the amusement away from his voice as he spoke in the best admonishing tone he could manage. They both knew that although all their talks had a certain playful edge to them, there was truth behind it too, and there was a reason that the topic had been brought up. “It happens every single year and you know it. Like three years ago, when you ‘accidentally’ outed us to my parents by kissing me right in front of them!” Die reminded helpfully.

It didn’t seem that Toshiya completely agreed with that though, giving a weird one-shouldered shrug as he tried to play it down. “I just felt like kissing you. And there was a mistletoe! You could’ve explained it with that.” There. A perfectly valid argument.

“Not when you grabbed my rear like you did and squeezed me closer. Not to mention that the kiss wasn’t exactly all that innocent either…” The guitarist spoke calmly, his eyes still on the road. If one looked closely there was a hint of a smile tugging his lips though, no matter how serious he tried to sound. C’mon, it was a pleasant memory after all, considering.

Toshiya sighed. He knew when he had lost, after all, and it didn’t make any sense to argue with that. “Okay okay. My bad. But it was only once!” He still had to try and redeem the last remains of his credibility, right? A single case couldn’t be used to judge his general behaviour. Or something like that, he was sure he had seen it in some criminal-series on TV. At least it sounded cool when a hot, tanned blonde of a lawyer said it.

“Only once?” Die laughed, shaking his head a bit, and it seemed for a while that he forgot he was actually steering a car. He turned to look at the younger man, his eyes sparkling as the bright smile finally spread right on his lips. “Gosh, the year after that you downed a bottle of liquor before kneeling down in front of my father to ask for my hand in marriage.” Even when he returned his eyes on the road, he kept on watching the younger man from the corner of his eyes, always aware of him on some level.

“But I meant it.” Toshiya pouted, and it was obvious that he had indeed meant it, still did. And would do it again if needed, most likely. “We’re as good as married anyways.” He pointed out, crossing his arms across his chest to show he wasn’t that amused. Or, technically, in an attempt to pretend that he wasn’t amused by the whole talk.

“I know,” the reply came in a gentle tone and one could see the grin on Die’s lips soften into a loving smile. He gave the other man a glance full of affection, not even trying to conceal any of it. “And it’s not like I’d be mad at you for it or anything. But it was embarrassing!” His point was still valid, and he had to point it out.

“Okay, admitted. So, what else?” The bassist knew he was torturing himself, but his curiosity got the best of him. Besides, it couldn’t be anything so bad, now could it? He didn’t remember ever embarrassing the other man, so it must’ve been only small things that had passed him by somehow.

“You need to ask!? Last year topped it all!” Again, laughter was resonating in Die’s voice but he tried hard to remain as serious as possible, taking a deep breath while inwardly reminding himself that this was a serious matter. Finally he went on, his voice calm and collected, although there still was a slight hint of amusement laced somewhere in between. “Remember when we all opened our Christmas presents together? You friggin’ gave me a framed picture of me sucking your dick!”

He had known to expect the reply, at least on some level, as Toshiya instantly defended himself sternly. “Hey, I happen to like that picture! It’s special to me.” What was probably the funniest point, if one asked Die, was that the other man really meant that. He knew it wasn’t even only special as in being a huge turn-on, but the other man really did connect some deeper meanings and emotions to such a vulgar picture.

Still, the guitarist wasn’t done and had the next argument ready by the time his lover stopped to draw for breath. “Baby, you know I like the picture too. It’s only that my grandmother probably didn’t appreciate seeing it all that much, especially judging by the way she screamed and nearly passed out.”

That was an effective way to shut Toshiya up, and after pouting for a while he released a huge sigh. “Okay. It might’ve been a bit too much. I’m sorry.” He didn’t only say it to end the conversation, but meant it. Like he always did. It was one of the most dominant aspects of his personality, after all, being brutally honest in practically every given situation.

Die smiled, finally turning the last curve until he could see the house of his parents and pull over to the side of the yard. He turned towards the younger man, their gazes meeting. “Don’t be, Tosh. Just… just try to keep it down a bit this year, okay?” He reached out his hand, running his fingertips over the younger man’s soft cheek in a gentle gesture that made them both smile automatically. “You know they love you. And I love you. You’re just a tad bit too open for them at times.”

Nodding seriously, Toshiya raised his hand as if he was swearing an oath. “I promise, I’ll try to behave. I really will.” Somehow he managed to pull off the exactly perfect mixture of an adorable teenager and a stunningly gorgeous 30-something-year-old rock god. At least Die was sold. Utterly and completely. He leaned in, planting a soft kiss on the other man’s lips before pulling back to unbuckle his seatbelt.

“Good! Then it’s all settled. C’mon, let’s get going now. You’ve got the presents?” He babbled away, already pushing the door of the car open as he stepped outside, inhaling the fresh winter air deeply. He was stopped by the other man’s voice though, as instead of a reply to the question he only got another one in return.

“Uhm, Die?” Toshiya sounded somewhat tentative, not making a move to get up from the car as he just peeked at the other man through the open front door.

Die bent down until their faces were on the same level, their eyes meeting again. “Yeah?”

“You might not want to open your present in front of your parents.”

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 14:29:17 GMT

Title: Rebel Without a Clue; Chapter 4
Author: seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: When Kaoru’s car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, he is ready to throw a fit and exclaim that his whole life has just been ruined. He has an important meeting to catch, and in order to get there he has no other choice but to try hitch-hike. His luck seems to be turning when a car stops, a young and gorgeous man picking him up from the street with a promise to take him to his destination. Little did he know what his destination truly would be.
Comments:
seinen_no: Wow, this needed long o-O I am so so sorry, but over my stay with my hunney here in Finland, we both forgot that the story still lacks the last chapter. We may be forgiven, yes? So now a bit late, do enjoy the last chapter of this…

fonulyn: This is really really late but things just kinda got out of hands and … well, you know. The usual pre-Christmas stress XD Anyways, consider this our Christmas present to you :) And enjoy the end of the story! Merry Christmas! ♥

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Plus, the archive .

Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Rebel Without a Clue
Chapter 4

For a long moment they just stayed like that, focused on the shared warmth and enjoyed the closeness to each other. Only when they both were about to doze off slowly, Die spoke up in a soft voice that still seemed too loud for the moment. "How about getting us some electricity now, eh?"
"Hmm," Kaoru grinned as he had been about to say that the chemistry between them was enough to light a fire. Still, he only nodded and then heaved himself off the other man.

He only tugged up his pants before stumbling towards the door to get the rest of their stuff from the car. It had gotten threateningly dark outside, thick, grey clouds hiding the sun from the eye. "I put up the roof," Kaoru said without needing to look if Die was there or not. He could sense his presence, could feel his gaze even. At another place or time it would have scared him to death or would have made him uncomfortable but right now it was the most natural thing to him.

Together they worked in silence to get their belongings inside the house and the car ready to face the night. Die informed that, to get the electricity on, they would have to go to a small shed a little further away since that was where the main circuit was. To minimize the possibility of a fire, he explained to the question why it was so far from the main house and from that Kaoru realized that the place indeed had to be quite old.

Already when they stepped outside, properly dressed again to head to the shed, the first large droplets of water were falling down from the dark sky. It made Die chuckle though and he grabbed Kaoru's hand instantly. "C'mon, let's get going before we'll get soaked wet!"

"I've got an umbrella in my suitcase," Kaoru pointed out but even though he resisted a bit, he was just dragged on by Die. The taller man shook his head laughing and said something about Kaoru not being made of sugar. After the first steps, the drops were becoming more and thicker and the two men were running along the meadow. When the small hut was in sight already, the sky opened its floodgates though and they were soaked wet within two seconds.

It only made Die laugh heartily and once they stepped into the small shed, they were sheltered from the rain for a moment at least. Ably, Die fixed whatever needed to be fixed and stated firmly that now they would have electricity back in the house as well. Afterwards, he turned around so quickly that he practically bumped into Kaoru, their chests touching. It took only a split second and they had already engaged their lips in a deep, passionate kiss. They were both soaked wet, and yet the kiss made them feel like they were burning from the inside. When they finally parted, Die was smiling brightly and nodded towards the door. "Now let's get going back." It was still raining like hell outside, the sound of heavy raindrops drumming on the roof forcing them to speak up.

Kaoru sighed deeply as he somehow didn't want to go back outside. Finally though, he squeezed himself past the other man and then darted off. "Catch me if you can!" he yelled from a few paces away already. This was freedom, felt like it, tasted like it and Kaoru couldn't even find the right words to explain what it did to him, but that was exactly how the moment felt. Thick, cold raindrops were hitting him straight in the face, blurring his vision and the storm seemed to carry away his laughter right after it had left his mouth.

Die was laughing merrily already before he darted off after the other man and just tried to run fast enough to catch him. He had the advantage of his long legs though and managed to catch the smaller man surprisingly quick. With a huge leap, he practically jumped him and didn't mind that as a result they both ended up in a huge puddle of mud. They were rolling over several times on the ground, laughing and not minding that they got all muddy and soaked. Like naturally, their lips were meeting every once in a while and neither of them seemed to care that the kisses tasted like rain and mud, a few grains of sand getting into their mouths like that.

Finally though, Kaoru shoved Die off him and got back on his feet. "You now better tell me that they have running hot water in the hut," he grumbled, but then laughed again as he was so happy. The butterflies were swarming in his stomach again and for a short moment he feared that this was just a nice dream. In reality, he was sitting next to his broken car in the burning sun, so drained that he was fantasizing already.

"As a matter of fact," Die chuckled merrily, "there is a hot water boiler there. But don't stay singing in the shower, the hot water won't last for that long and I need a shower too!" He practically bounced back on his feet, twining their fingers as he headed back to the house, dragging the other man along. "And I can make a fire in the fireplace!" He sounded more than content about the idea, and even took a few bouncier, almost dancing steps.

Kaoru's eyes were sparkling and once they had reached the house, he turned to look at the taller man who was still holding his hand. "Nothing prevents us from sharing a shower," he then said, a smirk tugging the corners of his mouth. Only then, he made Die let go of him and began stripping off his muddy, dripping wet clothes. He seemed like a totally different man, all the insecurity and the shame from the day before gone as if it hadn't been there ever.

The change made Die smile and for a moment he just stood there, dripping wet and muddy while watching the other man. It was almost unbelievable what a huge change there had been for the better. Only when Kaoru already disappeared in the bathroom, Die realized what had been offered to him and quickly tried to get rid of his clothes, tripping over his own feet as he rushed after the other man. He knew the hot water wouldn't last for long enough to have anything else than that quick common shower though, but it didn't dampen his mood at all.

Kaoru had been waiting for him but once Die had stepped into the small shower, he turned on the water. "Oh damn!" Kaoru laughed as the water was icy cold. "You think it was enough time for the water to get warm?" he asked when the water staid cold even after a few moments. Only slowly it got warmer, but hot was something else. As they were too dirty and needed to get cleaned up, Kaoru determinedly grabbed the shower-gel and began to clean Die. He just enjoyed running his palms over the other man's chest, loved that Die allowed him to touch him everywhere.

"This is already much warmer," Die announced with a bright grin, although the water still was more cool than warm. Yet, neither of them seemed to really mind as they were just getting lost in the moment. It wasn't even that they would've molested each other, they were only washing off the dirt and the mud that was sticking to their skin. And yet, they enjoyed the moment endlessly. It carried this certain familiarity, this certain warmth, and they both enjoyed it immensely.

All too soon, the water turned completely cold again though and they hurried to get out of there. Freezing, Kaoru spurted across the living-room to his bag to get them a towel as Die's friend hadn't left any for them in the shower. How could it be that it had gotten so cold within only a couple of hours. When he returned and handed Die a towel, his teeth were clattering even. "You'll have to light a fire in the fireplace and keep me warm. I'm freezing."

"As if I would be much better!" Die laughed and one could see a clear shudder go through him as he was freezing as well. Quickly he rubbed himself dry and headed back to the living room. He didn't bother to get dressed properly but pulled on a t-shirt and boxers, before vanishing in one of the smaller rooms for a second. When he came back he had a huge, fluffy blanket with him and he was grinning contently when he wrapped it around Kaoru's form. "Now, try to get warm and I light the fire. Then you can warm me too," he decided.

"Alright." Kaoru was smiling, the sweet gesture making his heart beat a bit too much in his chest maybe. This was romantic, wasn't it? A lonely house, a fireplace, only one blanket to share... For a moment, he watched Die fighting with the fire but then went to their stuff to get them a beer and some snacks after storing the rest of the beers in the fridge in the kitchen. Then, he returned to the living-room, grabbed a couple of cushions from the couch and dropped them on the rug in front of the fireplace before plopping down there.

He was still wrapped up in the blanket effectively, and when Die happened to glance at him he couldn't help but to chuckle. "You're cute, y'know." He smirked at the other man, momentarily directing his attention away from the fireplace. He had already managed to keep the fire alive for a while and now only added a couple of logs there before approaching his companion. "And now, lemme in. I'm still freezing!"

For a second, Kaoru just looked at Die and the taller man already feared he would refuse to take him under the blanket as well. Then though, Kaoru opened his arms, waiting for the other man to sneak close as well. Kaoru was still naked, and the fact that it would have been cleverer to put on some clothes too against the cold had escaped him completely somehow. The blanket was thick and fluffy though and once they were both underneath it, they were warming up surprisingly quick.

They kept on gazing into the fire, enjoying the slow moment and the that there was no hurry anywhere. The whole room was slowly becoming warmer as well and although they hadn't bothered to put on the lights, the fireplace was illuminating the room enough, the warm light dancing on their skin. Every once in a while, one of them took a sip from his beer, but other than that they remained silent. Kaoru was sitting with his back leaning against Die's chest. He enjoyed this intimate embrace maybe more than was good for him and he told himself time and time again that all this wasn't built to last, that he should enjoy it as much as he could for as long as it lasted. It was hard to shut off his mind and not think of the fact that they had to part soon and probably wouldn't see each other ever again. After all, he was a hard working business man, far too boring for a free spirit like Die.

It was hard to say what was going on in Die's mind as he didn't say anything, he just kept on softly stroking Kaoru's side with his fingertips, or pressed a gentle kiss somewhere on his shoulder every now and then. It felt as if they had known each other for centuries, been together for years, and it was hard to grasp that they had only met the previous day. Die still didn't avert his gaze from the fireplace when he spoke up, a small smile dancing on his lips. "Okay, I lied." Amusement was dancing in his voice. "This place doesn't belong to a friend of mine."

That startled Kaoru and he turned his head to look at the other man. "Not?" he asked dumbly and instantly cursed himself. "Are you now trying to tell me that you broke in here?"

"No," Die chuckled again, shaking his head a little bit. "It's something like a family-place. My mother grew up here. Now the place is completely empty though after her parents passed away."

"Oh." For a moment, Kaoru just looked at Die, but then he went on. "I am sorry." It was obvious from the tone of his voice that he meant it. "It's too pretty here to let it rot away. Don't you want to live here or then rent it to people who want to spend their holidays far away from the city?" It was the first time that he asked really private things but somehow he had the feeling that Die would answer him.

"I like to keep it as a place I can come back to when I feel like it," the other man answered, tilting his head enough to smile softly at his companion. He had placed his chin on Kaoru's shoulder, shifting a bit closer to him even. "You're right though. I should try to keep it more in shape and do some renovations to keep it from withering away."

Kaoru had placed his hands on Die's arm and now tilted his head a bit more to plant a kiss somewhere on the other man's cheek. "It's nice here. You definitely should keep it in shape," he remarked and although there were a gazillion questions lying on his tongue, he didn't voice them. Instead, he suddenly laughed out, pinching Die's arm. "You bastard!" he mock-griped. "I've been right all along. You dragged me out here because you didn't want to say goodbye just yet!"

That made Die laugh and he didn't even try to deny that, just instead hugged the other man a bit tighter for a second. "Maybe. Or maybe I wanted to show you that there are other things in life than just work and worrying over it," he pointed out, his eyes sparkling merrily.

"I think it was both," Kaoru decided smiling. "You're obsessed with making me a lazy bum like you are." It wasn't meant in a bad way and he was sure that Die understood it. Still, they were completely different and he wanted to point that out without calling a spade a spade.

"Yeah, something like that. Am I succeeding?" the other man asked with a teasing smirk.

"For the time being you at least managed to make me forget about my job," Kaoru said smiling. "So yeah, you're on your way."

He was rewarded with a slow, sensual kiss, as Die leaned in and connected their lips wordlessly. It was almost a magical moment, the light of the fireplace dancing on their skin as they simply enjoyed the shared warmth and the feeling of skin on skin. Carefully, Kaoru placed his beer further away from them and then turned around a bit more to face Die better. Die's kisses felt too good, were easily making his blood boil and awakened his libido. Even when the kiss broke, he remained like this, his arms wrapped around the taller man's neck, relying on Die to hold him otherwise.

Die was smiling, and he ran his lips along the other man's jaw, nibbling on the soft skin slightly. When Kaoru willingly tilted his head, he was rewarded with a set of teeth scraping over his pulse, soft lips following right afterwards to kiss the spot almost apologetically. It made the smaller man groan lowly and he allowed his eyes to fall shut. Die indeed was different from the other men he had met so far and certainly from those with whom he had been intimate. He appeared completely honest, genuine and whenever he touched or kissed him, it felt totally natural.

Kaoru still couldn't completely comprehend the enigma that was Die. The other man seemed to be both completely honest and completely mysterious at the same time. He wore his feelings on his face, his eyes giving away every change in his mood. And yet, he hadn't revealed anything about himself, about his personal life. Kaoru didn't even know his real name and distantly wondered if he ever would even find that out. He wanted to, he didn't want to let go of this for good after getting a taste of freedom, of being together like this. He tried to force the thoughts down though and only focus on the glorious feeling of those soft lips on his skin.

Somehow, Die seemed to sense his racing thoughts as he definitely did his best to chase those away, to distract with the advances. It made Kaoru smile at one point and he even reached for Die's hand, squeezing softly to show him how much he appreciated not only his intentions but simply this whole moment. When he turned around completely, almost sitting on the taller man's lap, the blanket slid down to his waist, revealing his narrow shoulders, the slender torso and is tattooed arms with the small hands that knew exactly what they were doing when they began to follow Die's spine down his back, only fingertips dancing over the bones there.

The soft touch was enough to make Die's eyes fall shut on their own and he craned his neck, pressing his forehead against the other man's neck. The next second he was moving again though, his lips getting restless as he was nibbling on the soft skin, trying to find the most sensitive spots to tease and to tantalize. Nothing was said, the only sounds in the room being the fire raging in the fireplace along with their breaths that were getting heavier with each moment.

Every touch, every kiss spoke of a great longing. At least when it came to Kaoru. He wanted Die as much as he needed him. It blew his mind that he practically didn't know anything about this man who had enchanted him so completely. Soon, the blanket was gone completely, exposing the smaller man's pale skin to Die's eyes. The fire gave it an orange glow, created enticing shadows and patterns.

They took a moment just to smile at each other, and it felt as if everything else vanished from the world except for the two of them. The light from the fireplace didn't reach to the corners of the room, and somehow the darkness that was surrounding them even emphasized the feeling that they were alone in the world. The first thing Kaoru did was to get rid of Die's clothing as well, he simply wanted to feel skin on skin, to get lost in the moment together. They seemed to be melting together in a way neither of them could even describe with words, each minute stretching out until it felt like hours.

Kaoru's eyes were closed and he focused on all his other senses, on feeling, smelling, touching. His fingertips were exploring Die's body, trying to find all the sensitive places. Suddenly, Die chuckled a bit. Apparently, he was pretty ticklish on the sides right underneath the armpits. Grinning, Kaoru instantly tested his newly won knowledge and teased the other man for a moment beofre he simply leaned down and dragged his tongue up all the way from Die's waist to his armpit.

That made Die laugh and he squirmed instantly, even instinctively slapping the other man's head a little. To apologize and show that he didn't mean it, he used the moment when Kaoru looked up and shifted closer to engage their lips in yet another deep kiss. Neither of them felt cold any longer, despite their hair still being damp and despite the fact that the room still wasn't completely warm either. They simply kept each other warm.

There were hands running over smooth skin, caressing and teasing and finally sliding to places that increased the heat inside them even more. Soon, both men were breathing heavier already and whenever they were looking at each other, they had to grin. Kaoru thought he was ridiculous, but he loved Die, right there and right at that moment he was madly and desperately in love with the other man. It wasn't destined to last, he knew that, but it was simply what he felt. Finally, he grabbed Die's buttocks firmly, lifted him up a bit and shifted him to the side so that he could push his back down on the fluffy rug.

They were chuckling lowly as they settled on the rug, searching for the best possible spot that was close enough to the fireplace so they could see each other properly. Somehow that was what they both needed, to be able to witness everything that passed between them. Never even for a second did they stop sharing longing touches, exchanging short kisses and moving against each other in a way that made them burn even more on the inside.

Not a single word was exchanged, but they didn't need any words. They were communicating on a level way beyond that, their bodies and their gestures speaking of everything they needed to know. For a moment, they stilled though. It was as if time had stopped running when Kaoru just looked down into Die's deep eyes that were reflecting the red and orange shine of the fire. The kiss that followed that moment was deep, passionate and yet somewhat gentle. There were no teeth nipping on lips, no tongue trying to explore even the least corner of the confines of the other's mouth. It was more like a dance, their tongues meeting outside their mouths before vanishing together.

From then on, it felt as if there was an almost palpable connection between them, not only their bodies but their minds, like an invisible bond was tying them together. The touches were getting more feverish, the kisses shorter and more breathless, their movements more unfocused and greedy. Yet that special feeling remained throughout it all, like branded in their minds in a way that made it impossible for it to disappear.

There was something like an eternal trust between them and this time when Kaoru finally connected their bodies in the most intimate of ways, neither of them stopped to search for a condom. It simply wasn't needed anymore, would have spoiled the perfect moment. It was a barrier that separated them and neither of the two wanted to be kept from feeling the other perfectly. They were melting into one, the line between the two of them fading until no one knew where one of them ended and the other began. They were clinging on to each other, moving in perfect unison, exchanging slow, sensual kisses one after another. It felt both like mere seconds and like a small eternity before they were helplessly teetering on the edge.

Neither of them knew who climaxed first since the feeling overcame both of them at once, making them shudder at the same second. Feeling the other man's hot release inside of him made Die throw his head back, a low, pleased growl spilling from his lips as an audible proof of how much he enjoyed it. It sent hot shivers down Kaoru's spine and he couldn't help but to scrape his teeth over the beautifully exposed throat. They both were keeping on moving against each other greedily but then the smaller man just collapsed on top of his lover, planting a few chaste kisses on his chest. Without the disturbing rubber, he didn't feel the need to break the connection immediately but rather enjoyed this intimate moment just a bit longer.

They were snuggling up close to each other, not saying a single word as those wold have appeared trivial at a moment like this. At one point Kaoru reached for the blanket to spread it over their forms, to keep them both warm although the fire was fading away. They kept on exchanging a few soft kisses and touches until at one point they simply drifted off, too exhausted to keep their eyes open any longer even if they had wanted to. Kaoru slept like a stone, didn't even stir and when he woke up for the first time, the sun was already up outside. He didn't bother though, seemed to have forgotten about the trip, about the need to get going. After establishing that he was still tired and Die fast asleep anyways, Kaoru simply hugged the other man tight, closed his eyes and soon drifted off again. This was a premiere. At least it had been ages since he hadn't gotten out of bed right after waking up.

They ended up sleeping almost until noon, both of them stirring awake one or two times in between but always just falling back asleep. When they finally decided to get up they only got cleaned up quickly, both in a really good mood. The sun was shining outside so they ended up eating their breakfast while sitting on the hood of Die's car, allowing the sunshine to warm their minds and bodies. Although they didn't hurry, it still felt too soon that they were ready to get going and go on with their journey. There was even a slight melancholy feeling lingering in the air when Die finally locked the door of the house after them.

When they were sitting next to each other in the car and the taller man hesitated for a moment to start the engine, Kaoru would have almost said that they would come back there once. Only in the last moment, he swallowed the words as he had no idea what the future brought. He would get back to his job and Die would keep on being free. One day, the time they had shared would only remain a distant memory, a blurry picture of the trip of his life. Kaoru knew that and he tried not to make things better in his mind than they would be. Finally, Die started the engine and they drove off without looking back, heading down the hill to the main road that would lead Kaoru back to his old, boring life.

They drove in silence, this time not even listening to music as somehow they preferred the complete silence, only the muffled sounds of the car's engine reaching their ears. They made one stop to get something to eat, but all too soon Kaoru already noticed that they were approaching their destination. He had asked for Die to drop him off at the hotel he had reserved for himself and they didn't have any troubles to find the building.

There was a strange feeling of finality in the air when they stopped right beside the hotel, and for a moment neither of them knew what to say. They didn't even dare to look at each other, both of them trying to speak and failing. Finally, their gazes met and for a second they simply got lost in the moment and looked straight at each other. It was Die who broke the silence first, his voice so soft that Kaoru wasn't even sure if he had spoken at all. "Run away with me."

The words shot right through him, touched something that had been hidden deep inside. It was exactly what he wanted, what he had been dreaming of and ever since he had met Die, he had secretly hoped for him to say these words. After what had felt like an eternity, Kaoru shook his head though. The movement was slow, tentative and showed that he didn't really know if he was taking the right decision. What future would they have? Two men living on air and love? That wasn't a life. Sure, they could keep their heads above water by working small jobs until they had collected enough money to go on with their journey without a destination, but Kaoru knew that one day, reality would kick in and destroy everything that was precious between them now.

As stupid as it might have sounded, but he couldn't say yes because he didn't want what they had to wither away and become something meaningless. Yet, his voice was choked when he spoke, his eyes bearing a certain glossy shimmer. "I can't," he barely managed to squeeze out. Gently, he brought his hand to Die's cheek, making him tilt his head. "I can't," he repeated before he kissed the other man so soft and tender that it boosted the sadness about their parting to a level that he could feel it physically. Afterwards, Kaoru swallowed hard and dug out his wallet. "Here." He handed Die a small card with his address and phone-number. "Whenever you're around, just drop by or gimme a call."

The words made Die smile, and when their eyes met, Kaoru could see that he had expected that answer, had known how the moment would turn out even before Kaoru had known it himself. Die nodded slowly, not saying anything and leaned in to kiss the other man once more. "It's not the end." Those were the only words he said after the kiss broke, the last words he said to the other man before they had to part.

Kaoru's body seemed to be made of lead when he opened the door and heaved himself out of the car. After casting one short glance at Die, he turned around for good and headed into the hotel. Inside, everything seemed to be so sterile, so impersonal that it was suffocating. As the first thing, he took a shower and somehow everything seemed to remind him of the past two days. Still, he managed to shrug the uncomfortable feelings off and rather thought of the nice memories he had made. When he was sitting at the small table, going through his papers, he almost expected Die to waltz into the room, take the files and throw them out of the window, telling him that he had to learn to let go of work and just relax a bit in between.

In the end he had no idea how he really made it through the remaining hours before he was supposed to go into his meeting. Even when his taxi finally stopped in front of the huge building and he got inside, his thoughts kept on returning to the man he had spent the previous days with. He wasn't sure anymore, or had never been sure, if his decision had been right and he kept on imagining how it could've been if he just left with Die.

Somehow he managed to switch into the business-mode and when a polite secretary led him along the corridors to the meeting, he was already focused on his work again. He was supposed to meet the head of this company, the three board members who were in charge, and when he stepped into the room he was instantly greeted by one. The man apologized formally, saying that they still had to wait for one of the representatives since he had gotten caught in an important overseas business call.

It merely took a couple of minutes though before the door opened again, someone stepping into the room and the next thing Kaoru realized was that the voice that greeted them was more than familiar. All the blood seemed to first drop to his legs, making his head dizzy, before it shot up to his cheeks. Kaoru couldn't help but to stare at the tall man in a perfectly cut suit who wore a smug little smile around the lips. "Mr. Niikura," the man next to the man spoke up, waiting until he had Kaoru's attention. "May I introduce you? This is Andou Daisuke, Mr. Yoshihawa Andou's son."

Kaoru's head was spinning and he bowed automatically. Daisuke Andou? Daisuke? That was his Die! So he did have a job after all. It was too much information to piece everything together but fact was that Die was one of the richest men in the country, the son of the third wealthiest business tycoons. Die had to know about pressure, how it was to be overworked and yet he had pulled off the rebel more than believable.

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Niikura," Die smiled, that charming and irresistible smile of his, and it still had the power to make Kaoru's heartbeat speed up until he felt the blood rushing in his ears. He was certain that the other two persons in the room must've thought he was slightly slow, or weird, by the way he was acting, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to mind. The whole meeting went by for him like in a haze and he only automatically explained what his company had to offer as a partner for the company of Die's father, glad that he had learned the things by heart so effectively. More than once, he had the feeling that Die was subtly flirting with him and yet he couldn't tell if it was true or maybe only his imagination.

By the end, Kaoru was at least sure that he had done a good job, but when he pushed the contract over to Die and their fingers were touching for a split-second, he was blushing like a tomato again. "Mr Andou senior will have this checked, but let me assure you that this is just a formality," one of the men who were sitting next to Die said. Apparently, he was Die's spokesman or his private secretary. The man wasn't hard on the eyes and that fact was enough to make a small flash of jealousy shoot through Kaoru. It only lasted for a second though before he had gotten himself back under control again.

They wrapped up the official part of the meeting and afterwards the two other men said they would get back to their duties. Kaoru was asked to wait a moment still and he still sat on his chair a bit confused when the others moved to the door. Die and his assumed secretary exchanged a few words in low voices, but he couldn't make out what was said. Finally the others were gone and it was only Die and him, the taller man slowly approaching the table again. "So, Kaoru," he smiled, something between amusement and contentment dancing in his voice. "Surprised?"

"Very much," the smaller man admitted nodding. There was no need to deny that as everybody had seen his reaction. "So all your 'run away with me' was just a joke?" He knew that it wasn't that easy but somehow he felt mocked and he couldn't say he liked that feeling.

"No," Die shook his head a little bit, looking the other man straight in the eye and there was nothing but honesty in the gaze. "If you would've said yes, I would've left in a heartbeat." Slowly, he moved closer but didn't make a move to reach for Kaoru, to try to touch him. He just leaned against the desk slightly, watching the other man's reactions attentively.

Kaoru believed him, had known that Die had meant it even before he had asked the question. Although the other man had turned out to be something completely different than he had thought, it didn't exactly make things easier for them, did it? Or maybe Kaoru was the only one who complicated things. "You would have left with me?" he asked, trying to keep his voice from trembling. "Just like that? And this meeting?" He had shifted a bit closer on his side and now his eyes were falling half-way shut as he smelled the other man's scent. Then, he chuckled a bit. "Oh of course, you must've known right from the beginning who I am and that without me, there would be no meeting and no need for your to be here..."

"Exactly," Die was grinning and even chuckled a little, bringing up his hand to run his index finger along the other man's jaw-line. "Don't worry too much, Kaoru." He spoke softly, and at this point he even dared to lean closer until his lips were only inches away from the smaller man's cheek, his warm breath ghosting over his skin. "Things have the tendency to work out in the end."

For a split second it looked as if he would initiate a kiss, but then just pulled back a bit, searching for eye-contact again. "So, Kaoru. Do you need a ride home?"

Inspiration-boxes.

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 16:57:43 GMT

This is something I both was asked to do, and wanted to do. Some of you who are on my friends-list have already seen an entry I made some time ago in my personal journal, showing off these little inspiration boxes for drabble-writing. Since the idea seemed to be liked, I figured I would introduce it to you too and maybe it would help someone to get writing :)

The idea is simple. You fold two little paper boxes. Then you take words, or short quotes, and you write them down on little pieces of paper. Those papers you can squeeze into little balls and then play a little writing-lottery ;) First pick a pairing in one of the boxes, secondly pick a prompt-word from another box, then just write. It can be a traditional drabble of only 100 words, it can be a small ficlet or it can be a longer fic. Anything you want to do and anything the prompts inspire you to do. If you have a printer, you can even print out small pictures and add them in the midst of the prompt words ;) Anything goes!

Here are my little boxes. In the smaller one, I wrote down pairings and in the bigger one, there are prompt words. If you want, you can only include your favorite pairings or only single characters. The idea would be to offer more variety though, so I at least included also pairs I don't particularly like, to see if I mange to get some little drabbles done of them ;)

I randomly took two papers from the boxes, and as you can see it now offered me to write a D/T ficcie with the promptword "love". Not that hard, eh? It's a pretty vague prompt, you can have something much more specific too if you want to :)

I took a moment to fold a few boxes just, and this is what came of it. I was thinking that maybe in one box I could fit some Christmas-themed promptwords, in one box some more melancholy ones and in one box some happy fluff. Or then you can just put everything into one box and see what you get!

To fold your own box, you can either google a good manual or then you can follow the instructions I made for this type of box. The pictured guide is here; part 1 and part 2. Feel free to ask me if you have some troubles with it and I can try to help!

If you need help in figuring out promptwords or -quotes, there are several amazing communities around in lj to find inspiration. I can give you the list of words I included in my original prompt-box and you can fill in more as much as you want and leave out whatever words you don't find appealing :) Also if you have good words or quotes, comment on the post with them so other people can use them too! Sharing is caring.

Here's the original word-list I used (not that much);

So, what I would like you to do now, is to make your own inspiration boxes :) No matter what your pairings are, no matter what style you write. This works for everything. If you want you can only make the prompt-box and leave out the pairing-box, working with whatever pairing seems to suit the prompt you get. It's all up to you! This is supposed to be fun and I hope you'll all enjoy doing it ;)

Write your drabbles and share them in comments below, comment on the drabbles others have written and let your inner fangirl(/boy) free! I encourage you to spam the entry as much as you wish. Go go!

♥ ; fonulyn

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 22:33:57 GMT

Title: Life
Author: fonulyn
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Die/?
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Die would’ve never thought he would find himself in a place like this. Standing on a cliff while the cold, still water was lying like a heavy mass somewhere far below him. His gaze directed at the horizon, into the orange glow that seemed to be burning away the day for the night to come.
Comments:
fonulyn: I know it’s just a little ficlet, more a drabble even, but I kinda wanted to have something for Die’s birthday so this be my contribution x) It’s pretty vague, you can imagine him being with just about anyone so I’ll let you do your own pick and won’t even tell who I imagined it to be XD Unless asked, of course. Also, abused this beautiful prompt for it. I hope you like :)

And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.

Life

Die would’ve never thought he would find himself in a place like this. Standing on a cliff while the cold, still water was lying like a heavy mass somewhere far below him. His gaze directed at the horizon, into the orange glow that seemed to be burning away the day for the night to come. Heavy clouds were hanging in the air, their exact replicas reflecting from the mirror that was the water’s surface.

The world was beautiful like this.

The soft breeze was the only thing he felt, caressing his skin like leaving the last goodbyes. He knew that the next day the wind would be cold, freezing him to the bones and he knew to appreciate the last breath of summer. That was why he had come here, today of all days. He knew it was a special day, he knew that it was the last day.

His mother used to bring him here when he was a child. Now that she had passed away, he had been avoiding the place like the plague for years. He had hid all the pictures he had from there, hadn’t even allowed himself to think about it, hadn’t dared to take a single step towards the place. It had felt like tearing the wounds open again, like twisting the knife in his gut time and time again, so he had tried to forget.

Somehow today was different.

When he had woken up in the morning, he hadn’t been alone. He hadn’t felt abandoned. There was a new presence in his life, something that made it worth going on, worth fighting for. Something that filled his life with laughter again, and he felt reborn. Healed.

That was why he had wanted to come here today. He wanted to make peace with his past so he could turn to look at his future. It felt like a ritual, like a cleansing rite that would wash away the pain, the anguish, make him whole again. It would allow him to face the new life as a new, healed person. It would put the ghosts to rest.

He wasn’t the kind of man to follow an impulse. Yet now, he did. Before he even noticed he was moving, he took a few running steps towards the cliff and he jumped. Without hesitation he plunged into the thin air, threw himself towards the even surface of the water.

For a few heartbeats it felt as if he would stay floating in the air.

Flying.

But suddenly he fell, faster, faster, faster. Towards the lake, towards the new life.

It hurt when he hit the water, the impact pressing all air from his lungs. Underneath the surface, he couldn’t stop himself from inhaling and the water burned in his airways, made him feel like drowning for a split second. Somehow, he pushed himself upwards, with unfocused movements of his arms and legs, enough for his head to reach the surface.

The air was cooler down here, and he coughed as he fought for breath, tried to fill his lungs with life instead of death.

One look at the sky told him that this was it, the last second before nightfall.

Together with summer, he let go of the ghosts in his past.

Together with autumn, he faced the new dawn.

He was complete.